Sunday, 18 December 2005

For the attention of Roy Wood, lyricist of 'I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day'.

Dear Mr Wood.

The snowman does not 'bring the snow'!!

The very first line of your song - and therefore the premise on which it is all based - seems to express your belief that the events described therein occur 'when the snowman brings the snow'. He simply doesn't. Obviously he doesn't. How could he? Snowmen are only created when there is snow to build them with. So it follows that they cannot possibly 'bring the snow', because their very existence indicates the snow has already been brought, by person or persons unknown. Just think about it. You don't see front gardens full of snowmen, standing in the middle of otherwise green and snowless lawns, and think to yourself 'Aha! There must be a snowfall in the offing - the snowmen are out!' No, of course you don't. Ironically, had you said 'When the snow brings the snowman' then you would have at least been on the right lines, although I realise you'd have run into problems with scansion. But they would be your problems, Mr Wood, not mine.

Furthermore, you talk about 'the' snowman, as if there's only one. The only snowman who has ever claimed a definite article, so far as I am aware, is 'The Snowman' out of the Raymond Briggs cartoon of the same name, who definitely arrived after the snow; built from it by the ginger boy with Aled Jones' voice. Oh, and now I think about it, I suppose Frosty 'the' Snowman. But I have no evidence he claims to 'bring the snow'. And- and this is my point Mr Wood- I don't believe you have either. So, could you please arrange to have your intensely irritating song withdrawn from all the shops that play it twice an hour throughout December until this crucial 'Which came first - the snowman or the snow?' question is satisfactorily resolved.

Thanking you in advance,

Yours sincerely,

John Finnemore.


Unknown said...

Oh, John... you're so endearingly naive. Snow? The song is about cocaine. That's why the 'snow' man has "put a great big smile, on somebody's face", and why, as an addict, he wishes "it could be Christmas every day", "when the kids start singing and the band begins to play"... IN HIS COKED-UP HEAD!

John Finnemore said...

Well, I admit it would explain a lot if the singer was smashed out of his mind. Especially the very odd bit variously interpreted on lyrics sites as being about 'frosticles' or 'frosty paws' which appear, and have frozen up either the singers' 'ears' or 'beard'.

Unknown said...

The frosty paws bit worried me earlier today when I found it somewhere or other.

Joe said...

According to "The Best Christmas Songbook Ever" (and it is a pretty good Christmas songbook), those lines read: "Now the 'frosticals' appeared / And they've frozen up my beard..."
Good song.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr Finnemore,

On a small matter in your recent letter to Roy Wood; you correctly state that I built the snowman in Raymond Briggs' "The Snowman" and you also correctly describe me as ginger. Both of these things, as you yourself might say, are my problem.

However, you incorrectly allege that I have the voice of Aled Jones, and I feel it necessary to point out that in Briggs' cartoon the voice I have is that of treble Peter Auty. Aled Jones famously copied my song and had a chart-topping hit with it, but with his face, not mine. It may seem pedantic, but I would want it to be known that although I am ginger, I am most certainly not Welsh.

If the implication of the original short filmed introduction to "The Snowman" is to be believed, I also grew up to be David Bowie - so I am now a millionaire living in New York and happily married to the stunning model Iman. So there.

Merry Christmas,

The ginger boy in "The Snowman"

John Finnemore said...

Dear Ginger Boy

I cannot apologise enough. Although you can never forget, I hope, in time, you might perhaps come to forgive.

Yours in abject repentence,

Mr Finnemore.

Anonymous said...

I know this is an old blog entry, but I came across it after Googling for the song.

Regarding the snowman controversy, I think it's actually "the Snow Man", as in a being that causes a snowfall, rather than a man who's built of snow after the snow has arrived. See it in that light, and there is no paradox in the song and it makes perfect sense.

And regarding the difference in lyrics...the original lyrics wre "frosticals" and "beard", but for some strange reason a cover version changed these to something different.

Just thought you might like to know!

Unknown said...

The Top Most Expensive Cars in the World, Top Speed Cars, Top most hot cars pictures and info

Anonymous said...

To any Cabin Pressure fans who, like me, are meandering through all these old blog posts and dying at the fact that John used several of these posts as the basis of Douglas and Martin's games; I'd just like to point out the label of this post: Get Dressed You Merry Gentlemen.

Mando said...

Hi there,I enjoy reading through your article post, I wanted to write a little comment to support you and wish you a good continuationAll the best for all your blogging efforts.


mebel jepara
kursi tamu jati
meja makan minimalis
tempat tidur jati
kursi makan jati
lemari pakaian jati
kursi teras jati
rak tv minimalis
sofa tamu minimalis
furniture murah
gebyok jati
kursi tamu jati jepara

bjdvole said...

I too have had lyric misgivings. In Elton John's "Crocodile Rock", he claims to remember when rock was young. That makes him at least 3.8 billion years old?

jeje said...

cleveland cavaliers
hugo boss outlet
air jordan 8
coach outlet
jaguars jersey
cheap oakley sunglasses
coach factory outlet
new york knicks jersey
mlb jerseys
broncos jerseys

Unknown said...


nike blazers
ralph lauren polo
hugo boss
ralph lauren polo
james harden shoes
michael kors outlet
coach outlet online
ralph lauren polo
mlb jerseys
birken stock

Solusi Masalah Kewanitaan said...

This article is interesting and useful. Thank you for sharing. And let me share an article about health that God willing will be very useful. Thank you :)

Obat Nyeri haid
Tips Menghilangkan Wajah kusam
Cara Mengobati Bisul

yanmaneee said...

curry 4 shoes
jordan shoes
ultra boost
air max 97
adidas yeezy
adidas yeezy boost
off white
baseball jerseys
nike air max 97
goyard handbags

yanmaneee said...

bape hoodie
off white clothing
golden goose outlet
balenciaga shoes
pg shoes
adidas superstar shoes
adidas yeezy
golden goose mid star