Twelve things the small boy opposite me on the train exclaimed whilst playing on his Nintendo:
- You can’t stop me!
- Woah, who are these deadly guys!
- Woah, wait up! What are you guys doing to me?
- Aha! Can’t hit me! Oh, he’s hitting me.
- Oh come on, how could he possibly get up there?
- This is so annoying! I’m not allowed to hit his hands now!
- How do I beat this guy? What do I have to do?
- Ah! He’s not dead yet! Ah, look at him! He isn’t dead.
- Aha, now I get it!
- Aha!! Oh!! Yes!! Thank you!!
- I beated him!!
- Oh, he’s changed into a machine.
- You can’t stop me!
- Woah, who are these deadly guys!
- Woah, wait up! What are you guys doing to me?
- Aha! Can’t hit me! Oh, he’s hitting me.
- Oh come on, how could he possibly get up there?
- This is so annoying! I’m not allowed to hit his hands now!
- How do I beat this guy? What do I have to do?
- Ah! He’s not dead yet! Ah, look at him! He isn’t dead.
- Aha, now I get it!
- Aha!! Oh!! Yes!! Thank you!!
- I beated him!!
- Oh, he’s changed into a machine.
One thing he exclaimed when his batteries ran out, and he looked out the window at some seagulls in Poole harbour:
- Birds in the water?! Why are there birds in the water?!
- Birds in the water?! Why are there birds in the water?!
The world is going to be a magical, if not bemusing, place for this youngster.
ReplyDeleteThoroughly enjoyed your opening night participation in Now Show Live 2012. Hoping you'll appear again.
Dunno why everyone's upset about the badminton. What were people expecting? Goodminton?
For those back in Blighty, you are lucky to be able to stream the Nowlympics Show because it's as dead as a doornail on iPlayer here in the States. I mean it's there but it don't load or stream. Another victim of "we're not allowed to stream the Coe Limp Ticks or anything about them outside the UK"?
ReplyDeleteFortunately the podcast is easy to DL and play. Bwahahaha!
Ha! Maybe my brother is less weird than I thought!
ReplyDelete(Or at least, less unique...)
Have to say that the show-jumping sketch in Nowlympics II owes a lot to ISIRTA. Expect a letter from Messrs. Garden and Brooke-Taylor.
ReplyDeleteSo, he had no problem with a man who changed into a machine, but couldn't fathom birds called *sea*gulls in the water.
ReplyDelete'Lympics: There was something on the Beeb site about radio coverage and commentary during the games, I think. 5 Live is blocked outside the UK for the full two weeks while some segments are on other channels.
ReplyDeleteI have to say, I was a bit like this when I was young(those were the days, etc etc). Too many deadly guys in Mario.
Your blog is my favourite blog
ReplyDeleteI second the above comment. Hell, I may even third.
ReplyDeleteit.
ReplyDeleteI'd laugh but....I was exactly the same 18 years ago on my original Nintendo, haha!! Fun times. Although birds in water were no so mystifying to me!
ReplyDeleteFortunately, my kids were grown up before that stuff started coming out. How about looking out the window more often and enjoying the scenery, learning what the world has to offer in the way of beauty.
ReplyDeleteGo for a walk, you might see a goat!
Enjoyed your latest show snippet about the Olympics!
I also saw a kid on public transport today, but he was rather different... I just wrote about it under the title "The greatest thing I saw today..."
ReplyDeleteIt restored my faith in humanity a little :)
*sigh*
ReplyDeleteYou have just seen the future, my friend.
Alternate title: 12 things John shouted in his dream that he was an olympic athlete. A *super powered* olympic athlete.
ReplyDeleteI... I still yell stuff like that. STILL, after years and years of apparent 'sensibleness', as my mother likes to put it. -_-
ReplyDeleteSo yeah, I have a gameboy advance with really old versions of Super Mario Bros, and when i'm playing it, you can't get anything out of me other than 'AHAH! A MUSHROOM!'
'Fear me, Bowser, fear me...'
'Who gave the damn tortoises fireballs ANYWAY?'
'Damn you, tiny mushroom people!'
and, occasionally 'Ahah! I win, I win, I win... oh. Damn.'
Uh... yeah. heh.
Did he never stop to think that that was the reason they are named SEA gulls?
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm just getting too old, but I really don't understand the video game/texting culture. Thank God for you, John. You so often have a way of explaining the intricacies of modern life in ways we old farts can understand.
Sounds like a youngster in for a world of adventure - and in desperate need of a camping or aquarium trip sans electronic devices. (Just think, if he's amazed at sea gulls how much more mind-blowing it would be to see penguins!)
ReplyDeleteI can't help but wonder what it was the kid was playing. Sounds vaguely Zelda-y, but who can say at this point?
ReplyDeleteI so enjoyed your Olympic rant. I feel exactly like that - comforting to know I'm not alone!!
ReplyDeleteCombo of birds and understanding tech stuff. My daughter aged 6 on seeing a seagull trying to fly forwards but being blown backwards by gale force winds commented "his batteries must be in back to front".
It's a shame I can't recognise the game from his exclamations, it sounds like a good game!
ReplyDeleteHaha, he sounds cute (he probably isn't though). However the bewilderment at birds being on the water is just sad :(
ReplyDeleteOn a different topic, you were BRILLIANT on the Nowlympics Show :D When I listened to it I actually cried with laughter, although to hear you saying 'brilliant' as Arthur whilst actually being you was a little confusing to the brain! Ah well, it was still absolutely brilliant :)
I reckon he was playing Sonic Advance - was he on a Gameboy or a DS?
ReplyDeleteI think I know that boy-he came to lunch at my house today with his twin. Every few words had exclamation marks!!!
ReplyDeleteAfter consulting my younger brother, in his reliable expert opinion as an expert-game-playing-younger-brother, he suggests that this game-enemy is the final boss of Star Fox 64 for the 3DS. It is a monkey thing, who is mostly only made up of head and hands. And you have to hit his hands to hurt him, but you obviously just can't do it constantly. And then when you do it enough, he turns into a robot monkey thing. Apparently, it is impressive that the kid made it that far. So there's solution to this oh-so-mysterious mystery.
ReplyDeleteDo you remember The Generation Game? Various strange eccentric people would demonstrate their strange eccentric skill.. I remember one small boy who could recognise cars by their hub caps.
ReplyDeleteTheis could be a contender. Spot the Video Game game. You get 20 (verbal) ejaculations to guess it.
Fantastic investigating in the comments! Mr Finnemore should set challenges like this every week... or month. Or, you know, whatever schedule he deems suitable (If at all).
ReplyDeleteMaybe he heard they are called _sea_gulls, but he couldn't believe they existed, and he didn't want to seem gullible.
ReplyDeleteNever mind all that, what ever has happened to Mr Cumberbatch's hair?
ReplyDeleteI can only conclude that the lack of Cabin Pressure has turned it sheer blond with shock, see: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/downton-abbey/9480067/Benedict-Cumberbatch-Downton-Abbey-is-sentimental-cliched-and-atrocious.html
Thankfully on radio, this atrocity will be concealed. I urge you, Mr Finnemore, to take action now to save your esteemed colleague before All Hope is Lost. (Capitals Advised, and Necessary).
Life imitating art:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/syria/9482126/Air-France-asks-passengers-for-whip-round-to-pay-for-fuel-after-emergency-stop-in-Damascus.html
The kid is not neglected, it's his molting. Well, maybe we can blame the parents a bit.
ReplyDelete*sigh* You have just seen the future, my friend.
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ReplyDelete