According to its label, the bottle of water I've just finished was no ordinary bottle of water. Oh no. It's 'One Litre of Pure Hydration'! Wow. You mean to tell me that every drop I drank of this water has added water to my body? That the water was, in fact, entirely made of water? What a miraculous age we live in. Now excuse me, I'm just off to eat One Banana of Pure Fruit.