Thursday, 9 November 2006

Bad Names For Twins

  • Catherine and Kathryn
  • Luke and Darth
  • Bob and Not Bob
  • The Indistinguishables
  • Jesus and Judas
  • Samantha and Her Sister
  • Yours and Mine
  • Good Twin and Evil Twin
  • Jane and the Back-Up


Joe said...

Simon and Garfunkel?

Unknown said...

'Ronnie and Reggie' might be asking for trouble.

Especially if they're girls, of course.

Unknown said...

I'd laugh to meet a pair of identicals where one is called, 'Clone'.

Unknown said...

I like this game!

How about these:

Her and It
Martin and The Freak
Michelle and Beelzebub
Egg and Spoon
Lib and Lab
Paris and Aberystwyth
Simon and Pythagoras' Theorem
Baby and Placenta

James Lark said...

Brilliant! Another reason to stop working/socialising/sleeping...

Twins where one is destined to do considerably better than the other in the long run:

Jason and Kylie
Pete and Dud
Sonny and Cher
Mozart and Salieri

Twins where one is destined to outlive the other:

Hardy and Napolean
VHS and Betamax
Granny Lark and Grandad Lark

Twins who will both meet a nasty ending:

Thelma and Louise
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

Twins who will argue all the time:

Laurel and Hardy
Dastardly and Muttley

Twins where one is destined to kill the other:

Caesar and Brutus

Joe said...

George and Ringo?

Anonymous said...

destined for incest:

Harry and Sally

John Finnemore said...

These are great! You funny guys, you. Excellent results can also be obtained by mixing and matching: 'Dastardly and Garfunkle', for instance, or 'Betamax and Placenta' or 'Granny Lark and the Sundance Kid'.

Here are a few more:

Romulus and Retard
Diana and Camilla
Stephen but Clive
Michael Henderson + 1

Unknown said...

Now, for the sake of tedious pedantry, I think it's worth pointing out that we're looking at names specifically for twins, not just for siblings. So let's look at ones that have particular resonance for twins, particularly, I'd imagine, identical ones.

That said, here's some more:

Emma and Emma's Organ Donor

Paul and Paul's Alibi

The One We're Dressing In Green and The One We're Dressing In Blue

Laura and Why Couldn't This One Have Been A Boy

Sally and No Wait Maybe This One's Sally

James Lark said...

James Casey makes a good point. Along those lines:

Jonny and Stillbirth

Sandra and Deformed

Kevin and Kevin Just Slightly Uglier

Luke and Up For Adoption

Rachael and Where's Rachael's Sister? Oh Who Cares

Barbara and Clean the Scullery, There's No Handsome Prince Coming For You This Is Real Life

Raymond and Thank God It Wasn't Triplets

Unknown said...

And some more...

Heir and Born A Minute Too Late
X and Y
Yes and No
Number One and Poo
John and John
Adolf and Josef
Charity and Accountancy
Eric and The Concept of Chance

Unknown said...

I really like James' "Luke and Up For Adoption" and Matt's straightforward solution in "John and John", and of course many of John's originals which kicked us all off. Joe I feel needs to spend less time writing award-winning novels and working out how to win variations on 'Ex-Libris' and put in some serious nameage.

Anonymous said...

Huey Lewis and The News?

-- A Fan

Joe said...

How about:
Gladys Knight and The Pips
Jason and The Argonauts
Sex and The City
Faith and Atheism
Duck and Cover
Null and Void
Loved and Afterthought
Forgiven and Forgotten
or triplets:
Signed, Sealed and Delivered.

James Lark said...

"Forgiven and Forgotten" I like a lot, but I fear Joe is stretching our credulity in his last minute bid to be taken seriously in the game.

"The Pips" and "The Argonauts" are surely not names for individuals, but for twins joined at the hip in some way. So we're actually talking about a whole new category of individual siblings twinned to a pair of Siamese twins. I'm not even sure such a thing is possible. (Certainly they wouldn't be identical twins, would they?)

Anonymous said...

David and Goliath
Lucy and Lucy's Twin
Gerry and Gerry with defect
James and that other one.
Jekyll and Hyde.
Edward 1st and Edward 2nd
Expected child and Whoa a second one!
Dolly and Clone

Anonymous said...

How do, how's you?

Little & Large (the unofficial nickname for the twin identical nephews in my life.)

Rich & No, he's ten mins younger.
Sam & Hurry up: we'll be late.

Botchit & Scarper.
Brian & Stewie.
Morph & Chas.
Roobarb & Custard.
Herbie & Vore #
Emmy & Oscar.

Two sisters who'll always hate each other.
Jennifer & Angelina.

*Crawls back to flu-ridden sofa and re-editing.*

James C - the "One we're dressing in green/blue." You know my parents, surely?

# With "thanks" to the now folded Muzik magazine for that one.

John Finnemore said...

My God, I've created a monster! But a lovely monster. As if Frankenstein's creature turned out to do a lot of secret work for charity.

My favourites from the new lot are 'Lucy and Lucy's Twin'; 'Forgiven and Forgotten'; 'Eric and the Concept of Chance' and 'The One We're Dressing In...' But my favourite individual name is still 'Grandad Lark'. There's just so much potential in a child called 'Grandad'...

Anonymous said...

Two more...
Sam & Ella
Porgy & Bess
And that's it.

Anonymous said...

This One and That One
Frank and Woodley
Sweet and Sour Pork (for all noodle lovers!)
Him and Her
Fish and Chips
Get Out Of Me and The Worst Pain I've Ever Felt
Baby 1 and Baby 2
Dumb and Dumber
Loved and Unloved

(Don't know if you heard about it but there was this couple who actually called their child "Tallulah does the Hula from Hawaii" Bahaha. Poor thing!)

Anonymous said...

Lol, Baby and Placenta

-Spoilt and Couldn't Care Less
-James and Oops, I forgot
-Lawyer and Doctor (Let's hope they live up to their names!)

Unknown said...

Salma & Nella
Polka & Dot
Love & Lost
Jack & Jack's Stunt Double
Cain & Abel

Unknown said...

Thing 1 & Thing 2

Unknown said...

Prometheus & Bob
Jack Sprat & His Wife
Venus & De Milo
Mary & Little Lamb

Anonymous said...

Miracle and Majesty

Anonymous said...

Beauty and the Beast

Anonymous said...

i think that bob and robert would be pretty bad

Anonymous said...

Roger and Mimi

Edward and Bella

Alice and Jasper

Peter and Carslie

Sarah said...

Thing one and thing two

Jayleigh said...

Bim and Bam

Anonymous said...

Gorgeous & WhatInTheWorldIsThisThing

Beauty & Frankenstein

Creature One & Creature Two

Betty & Etc

Lyle & Thing

Anonymous said...

Freedom and Justice...
Jack and Jill...
Cute and Freak...bwahaha
Keyboard and Mouse?...
See and Sew...
Thought and Thoughts
Monster and Dave...?
Roll and Ball...
Three and Tree?...bwahaha
One Third and Two Third...where is Three Third..?

Anonymous said...

hanzel and gretel
naughty and nice

Anonymous said...

What about..
Jekyll and Hyde
Pride and Prejudice
Ernie and Bert


Anonymous said...

sugar& spice
James1& James 2
Microsoft& Apple
Nike& Slazenger
Lakeside& Westfield
Baby& Extra
Cowboy& Indian
we're out of& toilet paper again
Friday& Saturday
Tequilla& Jack Daniels
Ecstacy& Speed

Anonymous said...

james and featuring andrew

Anonymous said...

david's and paul's

Anonymous said...

Copy & Paste
Pheonix & Iliana
Pink & Purple
Pee & Pea
Toilette & John
John & Jane (Deer)
Hope & Faith & Grace
Ben & Jerry
Bill & Jill

The too late Frog said...

Tom and Jerry ?
Sherlock and Holmes ?
Fromage ET Dessert ? (because in french restaurants it's generally cheese or desert)

Mary Jo said...

Harley & Davidson

Ambrose said...

Cheech and Chong

Kimee said...

I've got identical twins that are called Jacob and Tobias - when I told my Dad he asked if Tobias would be called Toby. I said yes.
"So people would all be asking, is it Toby, or not Toby? That is the question!" he replied.

So I always think how I could have called them Toby and Not Toby, if I was a cruel mother...

Unknown said...

How about Mary and Jane
Bob and Dylan
Bob and Marley
Dis and aster
Frick and frat
Barb and q
Cat and hat
Here and there
When and where
Rich and dick
Cheech and chong

Lucy said...

(Thinking of Arthurian mythology)
Guinevere and Morgana
Arthur and Mordred
Merlin and Nimueh
Or to take a different tack:
Sherlock and Moriarty (or Jim)
I heard tell of a pair of American twins that were called Orange Jello and Lemon Jello...

Chuck said...

I know I'm late to this party, but I feel I have to share this one: Many years ago I worked in a hospital. I was talking with one of the girls from maternity one day, and she told me that a couple of staff had to take a moment aside that morning to dissuade a woman from her conviction to name her twin boys James and Jim. The naming wasn't meant as a joke; the mother genuinely wasn't aware of the relationship between the two names.

Anonymous said...

Jack and Jill?

Anonymous said...

How about

sunlight and megabyte (i know some one cruel enough to call their kids this)

Barbie and Ken
Lois and clark
Justin and Bieber
Tweedledum and Tweedledee
Hailey and 3 minutes late
Samsung and Nokia

Sugar , spice and everything nice
Conditioner , Shampoo and Shower gel

Anonymous said...

Mackenzie and Chelsea (Mac and Cheese)!

Unknown said...

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Anonymous said...

Dylan and the unexpected

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MK said...

Wash, Rinse & Repeat as needed

Butch Callahan said...

How 'bout the old line, Denise & De-nephew?!

Anonymous said...

Oopsy & Daisy!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Jenny & Craig

Anonymous said...

Toe and Jam
Tam and Pon
Nipple and Nipplet
Mick and Donald
Sister and Sister
Marilyn and Monroe
Heather and Feather
Pee and Poo

Anonymous said...

Charlie and Charlise
Fred and George

Anonymous said...

Sense and Sensibility
Sense and Nonsense
Celsius and Fahrenheit
Dennis and Gnasher