Thursday, 31 January 2008

So if anyone needs a towel, just give me a shout.

I was getting myself some car insurance the other day, and had to select my job from a drop down menu. Only they didn't have 'writer'. Fair enough, I thought, I suppose it's a relatively niche profession, I can understand them leaving it out. Except that here are just a few of the jobs they were absolutely fine with.

Violin Maker
Clay Pigeon Instructor
Foam Converter
Pearl Stringer
Weighbridge Clerk
Tea Taster
Water Diviner
Falconer
Head Lad
Towel Supplier

8 comments:

Mwingwe Unsantu said...

Sadly, Mwingwe Unsantu has passed away. No more the vibes of his evening aschunta orchestra!

Anne-Marie said...

Did you lie and pick one of those exotic professions? Falconer sounds cool, doesn't it?

I hate saying "journalist" when some one asks me what I do. The response is invariably "Ooh, I'd better watch what I say or it will end up in the newspaper." Yeah, okay. I think I'll start telling people I'm a vulcanologist. That sounds very exciting - every one loves volcanoes.

John Finnemore said...

No, I just went with another company. But I do occasionally lie at parties, and always to stand up comedians talking to the audience. Vulcanologist does sound exciting - so long as you're prepared to bluff your way through volcano questions for the next three quarters of an hour.

Oh, and thank you, Mwingwe, for informing me of your demise - sad news indeed. Please pass on my condolences to your family and fellow musicians.

mwingwe unsantu said...

Many fank yous. I am not so bad in purgatory. It ok.

Stu said...

Interesting list there ... consider the plight of those who live abroad (we've all got to be somewhere ...). Local service providers in Paris tussle to produce magnetic fridge thingys - a list of local emergency services, easy to hand and ready when you need them.

They list the following:

Police Station
Town Hall
Locksmith (24/7)
Fire Service
Anti-Poison
Dentist (24/7)
Trains
Glazier (24/7)
Doctor
Ambulance
Electricity
and, at the end...
Home Visit Hairdresser

An emergency?

Now, there's a service that could do with a towel ... John, you're hired!

Anonymous said...

Is it just me or does Clay Pigeon Instructor make you picture an old man whispering instructions and helpful hints to the clay pigeons moments before they are launched into the air? Yeah, probably just me.

Grace said...

So this is a bit of a late comment but I bet you're glad you went with a different company. I have a nagging feeling the selection of accidents this one offered coverage for might have been a trifle obscure. "Oh, you got rear-ended by a drunk driver? Sorry to hear it but I'm afraid that's not in your policy. Now, had an orbiting satellite malfunctioned and hurtled out of the atmosphere to crash precisely on top of your vehicle, that we could have handled."

I can't believe I've just now discovered John Finnemore has a blog? His shows are my go-to listens for when I need cheering up, or to laugh so hard I actually forget how to.
Most Hilarious man in the universe...I don't care that I've just fabricated that title he's earned it.

sarah hunt said...

Pearl Stringer. Lovely girl. Didn't she used to stand up when she played the piano ?

Sarah