Saturday, 11 April 2009

Also, at some point he falls in love.

At the cinema, there was an advert for something or other to do with the cinema itself, advance booking or something, that involved several ultra-mini-trailers for forthcoming films. One, in its entirity, went like this:


Clip one- Footage of second best special effect. Solemn Character: 'Evil has returned.'
Clip two- Footage of best special effect. Brave Character: 'We have to find the Dragonball!'

Now, I've got nothing against that sort of movie,  but it strikes me that that is pretty much its perfect length. This is literally all I know about 'Dragonball', but I bet I already know as much about the characters and plot from those two sentences as I ever would from a ninety-odd minute film. I suppose the director might argue that the edited version above lacks closure, and would want it at least doubled so as to include the lines:

Clip three - Brave Character: 'We've found the Dragonball!'
Clip four - Solemn Character: 'Evil has gone away again.'

But to be honest, I think he's wrong. I don't think anyone was in any doubt whether the Dragonball would be found and Evil would go away, or whether the Dragonball would forever remain down in the crack behind the washing machine, and Evil would settle in and start choosing new carpets. In fact, on the contrary, I think the edited version is still a bit flabby. Here's my ideal cut:

Footage of best special effect. 
Wise Character - Evil.
Brave Character - Dragonball!

That'll be £9.50, please, not including popcorn. 

3 comments:

simon said...

I assume you've seen the Onion's "Iron Man Trailer to be Made Into Feature Film", but if you haven't here it is. I think it's perfect. Hope you're well:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBM3j7x4Lcw

Mr. Controversy said...

Thank you so much...now I don't have to rent the film out of morbid curiosity. On another note, not to be a nosy American or anything, but how's Series 2 of Cabin Pressure going?

Edward Jones Jnr said...

AFFORDABLE LOAN OFFER

Are you financially down? Do you need a loan to start up business or pay off bills? we offer all kinds of financial assistance to every individuals "Business loan and personal loan, for investment, debt consolidation and house purchase etc." we will be willing to offer you the loan. Offer is affordable at an interest rate of 2%; this Funding program allows our client to enjoy low interest payback for as low as 2% per annul for a period of 2 months - 50 years. We can approve a loan/funding for a minimum of 5,000.00 up to 20,000,000.00 depending on the nature of business. but before we can proceed with the loan..Do contact us now via : {jonesloanfinance@yahoo.com}