At the cinema, there was an advert for something or other to do with the cinema itself, advance booking or something, that involved several ultra-mini-trailers for forthcoming films. One, in its entirity, went like this:
Saturday, 11 April 2009
Clip one- Footage of second best special effect. Solemn Character: 'Evil has returned.'
Clip two- Footage of best special effect. Brave Character: 'We have to find the Dragonball!'
Now, I've got nothing against that sort of movie, but it strikes me that that is pretty much its perfect length. This is literally all I know about 'Dragonball', but I bet I already know as much about the characters and plot from those two sentences as I ever would from a ninety-odd minute film. I suppose the director might argue that the edited version above lacks closure, and would want it at least doubled so as to include the lines:
Clip three - Brave Character: 'We've found the Dragonball!'
Clip four - Solemn Character: 'Evil has gone away again.'
But to be honest, I think he's wrong. I don't think anyone was in any doubt whether the Dragonball would be found and Evil would go away, or whether the Dragonball would forever remain down in the crack behind the washing machine, and Evil would settle in and start choosing new carpets. In fact, on the contrary, I think the edited version is still a bit flabby. Here's my ideal cut:
Footage of best special effect.
Wise Character - Evil.
Brave Character - Dragonball!
That'll be £9.50, please, not including popcorn.