Prayer improvised by teenage boy on bus yesterday, sort of jokily, but not, I think, deliberately getting it wrong:
'Oh, Father God, Heaven, and Holy Christ!'
For full effect, bear in mind this was said while making a 'T' shape on his throat - starting by drawing a finger across it in the sign for 'dead', then drawing a line down from Adam's apple to clavicle.
Still, he didn't mean any harm, so just say four Hail Caesars and a Mary Mary, my son.
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In Ireland that is an exclamation. I'd hear it 4/5 times a day. We're colourful like that.
What, really? That one? You mean he wasn't making it up as he went along? But it sounded so... rubbish!
Or are you joking? Sad consequence of spending all day trying to write comedy is that I am now pretty much incapable of telling whether something is a joke or not...
I was joking.
Mostly.
But I've definitely heard variants of it. Jump out of a cupboard at the next Irish person you see. Or drop something heavy on their foot.
Sure, you might regret it almost immediately, but in the meantime you'll probably get your incoherent string of blasphemy.
See, now I'm interested in who the next Irish person I see will be, and how long it will take me to see one. I'll post back here when I've seen one, and if I know them, I may even shout 'Boo' at them.
I'm looking forward to it. Think I might try it myself. Although I imagine I won't have quite as far to look.
But then I would just be doing it to frighten people senseless and then claim it was an empirical study...
I met an O'Hagan yesterday, and a Quinlan today; both have Irish parents, but neither were born in Ireland, so I didn't Boo them. The search continues.
"Writer Driven Mad: White Whale Continues to Elude".
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