Monday, 19 September 2011

John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme - Episode One





Right. This is it, then. The one thing I have always most wanted to do in comedy is write and perform my own radio sketch show, and… now I have. I really hope I haven’t messed it up. (To find out if I have, and if so how much, listen to Radio 4 at 7.15 on Sunday nights, or go here.) It was always specifically a radio sketch show I wanted to do - much as I loved TV comedy growing up, it was listening to things like On The Hour, People Like Us and Harry Hill’s Fruit Corner on the radio; and cassettes of things like I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again, Hitchhiker’s Guide, and Pete and Dud, that really made me wish I could find a way to be allowed to do that when I grew up, as opposed to, say, a proper job. There’s something about the idea of a gang of people clustered round a microphone trying to make the audience and each other laugh that I particularly loved - in fact, we recorded this show round one central mike, rather than the usual method these days of having one each, more or less entirely (whatever I might have said to the cast at the time) so that I could pretend I was in The Goon Show. 
There’s no theme to the show - I felt that if I was going to write every sketch myself, which I was egomaniacally keen to do, I couldn’t really afford to restrict myself to one subject area or even style. So, there are sketches, like Before You're Thirty, which, if not exactly satirical, at least have a point to make; there are sketches like To Rerecord Your Message which come entirely from character, and there are sketches like Three Guards, which are just silly and fun. I hope. Also, there are no returning characters. The rule is that one sketch can return up to three times in an episode, but nothing appears in more than one episode… with the exception of the stories at the end. 
The stories at the end are something I’ve been doing on the live sketch circuit in London for a while, and started as a parody of the great ghost story writer M.R. James, and in particular an audiobook of his stories read by Derek Jacobi, which I urge you to download if you like that sort of thing. Jacobi reads it perfectly, and part of reading it perfectly is that he - I’m sure deliberately - invests the narrator with an incredibly pompous cosiness which I find very funny. As I’ve written more of them, the style has widened out to be a bit John Buchan, a bit H.G.Wells, and a bit R.L.Stevenson - in fact any of those writers between about 1885 and 1939 who wrote stories in which chaps who only ever refer to one another by their surnames are reluctantly persuaded by other chaps at the club to tell tall stories in which, despite their apparent modesty, they feel able to say things like this (from a Buchan short story):
‘I learnt to walk in the Himalayas, and the little Saxon hills seemed to me inconsiderable, but they were too much for most of the men.’
Mainly though, let’s be honest, these sketches are a homage (rip-off) of the Round the Horne or ISIRTA tradition of ending with a daft gang-show ‘play’: an opportunity for the cast to do even more than usually stupid voices, and me to do even more than usually stupid jokes and puns - and let me straight away acknowledge the glaringly obvious influences of Police Squad, Mark Evans’ Bleak Expectations, and Stephen Fry’s famous ‘Letter’ sketch: ‘Of all the hideous disfigured spectacles I have ever beheld, those perched on the end of this man’s nose remain forever pasted into the album of my memory.’  
What else? Well, since people seemed to like the notebook photos when I blogged Cabin Pressure episodes, here is the page of my notebook in which I came up with the ‘Tardis Noise’ sketch - which I did, as I often do, by writing something that annoys me in the middle of the page, and seeing what happened next. Two things I find interesting about what happened in this case - firstly, the false start with the princess who wants to be a police dog handler, which is a perfectly decent starting point, but didn’t seem to go anywhere. Had I written it, that one would have been a more straight-forward attack on the Follow Your Dream thing that annoyed me in the first place, whereas the Tardis one isn’t really about that at all, it’s a character-driven story. Secondly, how late in the construction of the sketch the Tardis noise itself entered the picture - for most of its development, it seems to have been a sketch about dodgem cars. 
That’s it. I can’t quite believe my luck in having got the chance to do this show; I’m really proud of it; and I very much hope you enjoy it. 


96 comments:

Dave Shelton said...

I very much enjoyed it. Ta.

Three Guards was a favourite. Oh, and Jamaica. Marvellous. Looking forward to the rest.

Daedalus said...

"Three Guards" reminded me of the puzzles I used to read in "New Scientist" magazine, about the Pukkas, Wotta-woppas and Shilla-shallas, three tribes living on the Island of Imperfection. Three guesses which guard is which.

serafina13 said...

Enjoyed it immensely. It is very funny, and very apparent that everyone on the mic is have a whale of a time, which makes it even better. Well done, you.

John Finnemore said...

Oh yes! Had forgotten all about those, but a little light Googling tells me their author included them in his 'Puffin Book of Brainteasers', the one with an island on the cover, which I had when I was a boy, and which doubtless subconsciously fed in to this sketch. Thanks, Eric Emmet!

eAi said...

Ahh - Bleak Expectations - I'd forgotten it's name but that exactly what they reminded me of at the recording. Not a bad thing either - as they were probably the highlight for me!

Rebecca said...

Congrats! That was great fun--I loved the guards especially. And the poor TARDIS sound guy. (And once again I'm so greatful I can listen to the BBC player thingie from outside of the UK! Yay!)

KB said...

I LOVED the show, it was fantastically hilarious and I am just about to get my Mum to listen to it on iPlayer...

ThreeMinuteTheologian said...

The one thing I have always most wanted to do in comedy is write and perform my own radio sketch show…

Rather like the man whose only ambition was to be the TARDIS.

So glad that Russell Davis didn't thwart your ambition!

(Really, really, funny!)

Molly said...

Congratulations! May there be many, many more to follow! If I started listing the "I especially liked" bits, this note would go on far, far too long. I shall confine myself to admitting that I have now listened to the eerie tale of "The Man Who Went For a Walk And Saw--" four times, and it's just as funny, if not funnier, every succesive time around.
More! More!

Anonymous said...

Winnie's honey addiction intervention is my favourite.

Greetings from a fan in Arizona.

Eclectic Man said...

Very good, but I hope you allow your characters to return in later sketches if you have a good idea for them. However much you may want to stick to the 'no returning characters' rule, the rest of us need as many laughs as we can get.

Oh and btw, they look like Moleskine notebooks to me, am I right (confessions of a stationery addict - I really like them)?

PS - I'm STILL playing Yellow Car

PPS - A recent question in New Scientist's 'Last Word' page was: "Why are adults and teenagers less imaginative than children?" I can only assume the author does not listen to the radio.

Rachel Stewart said...

Really enjoyed it, especially the Stephen Fry Letter sketch style jokes in the ghost story.

Those evenings at The Albany definitely paid off. You're very good at re-writing sketches and making them funnier and funnier every time.

I'm really looking forward to next week's episode, it's just a shame that there are only four of them.

J.V said...

As a fan of comedy who’s entrenched in that phase of losing hours to the TV and radio, it's been a rather illuminating experience to watch the material develop from the embryonic sketches performed at the Albany to the finished product.

Please continue posting pages from your notebook; it’s fascinating to see how your writing develops.

Louis Strong said...

I really liked how Eeyore sounded like Alan Rickman.

the half blood princess said...

@Louis Strong.

I was about to say that myself!

Extremely funny John. As all your shows are.

I have an addiction to Cabin Pressure. Does someone need to hold me an "interdevention"??

Ross Bennett said...

Tardis Noise was my favorite. It had the rare quality of being magnificently hilarious while just the right amount of poignant. Also because my childhood dream was to be a shipboard radio operator in the 1930s.

Top notch. There wasn't one clunker in the whole show, which is almost impossible in sketch comedy. Even MPFC had its clunkers.

The cast was brilliant. I thoroughly enjoyed Eeyore sounding like Alan Rickman doing a Jeremy Irons impression.

Ross Bennett said...

For the record, I did not see Louis and HBPrincess's remarks on Eeyore because they went up while I was composing mine. It's a consensus, then.

simon kane said...

I don't think Eeyore sounds like Alan Rickman at all, John. I don't know what they're talking about.

And am I allowed to clear up here that "Because it was what the Goons did" was ABSOLUTELY the reason John gave to us for having just the one microphone? (Although I suspect they only crowded round the mike for publicity shots. Explain THIS, Finnemore! http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_dZt6QPJB-jM/TG8Yo5FV49I/AAAAAAAACB0/y6SW01xQ6Oo/s1600/goons0703_468x347.jpg )

P.S. Nice point, ThreeMinute Theologian. For the record I've always dreamed of performing in a radio sketch show someone else has written. Vorpshooosh vorpshooshes all round!

Kaitebon said...

I really enjoyed it--particularly the Winnie the Pooh sketch! I was just reading "Pooh and the Philosophers," too, which made it even funnier!

Musical Lottie said...

Oh, this was just brilliant! I hurt my sides laughing, and every time I laughed I coughed (stupid cold), so my throat ended up raw, but it was worth it! I shall listen again several times whenever I have the opportunity.

Thank you for posting a page from your notebook again; it's always fascinating to see the process leading up to the final script.

Musical Lottie said...

P.S. I too thought Eeyore sounded similar to Alan Rickman. Whether that was the intended effect or not, the sketch was - as all of them were - fantastic.

Petina said...

LOVED the Rerecord sketch for its sheer silliness and the Tardis Noise for its wonderful blend of humour and pathos (this is something you write particularly well, Mr F!)Looking forward to the next show...

Colm said...

Hey John. Just listened to the show whilst travelling in Laos. Funniest thing I've heard on the radio for a long time. Thank you and good luck. Greatly enjoyed and hope it will be possible to download future episodes as a podcast.

Kari said...

I had to pause iPlayer to laugh at Winnie the Pooh. The idea of Tigger on steroids made me snort. It startled the cat.

Also, thrilled to learn I can now listen to iPlayer in the U.S. Thank you, BBC, for finally figuring this out!

theficklepickle said...

I grew up on 'Round the Horne' and 'ISIRTA' (with an annoying tendency to sing the Angus Prune Tune at parties) so spotting some of your influences wasn't difficult - including 'My name is not important' and 'Right hand down a bit!' in Cabin Pressure. In fact I love unravelling the allusions, although I'm afraid some of the more modern ones have probably passed me by! However I do know from experience how much fun it is working such things into a text and wondering whether anyone will ever spot them - and how rewarding it can be when they do!

Lisa said...

I loved it. My favourites are definitely the Three Guards and the story at the end! And Winne the Pooh, and the man with a van at the beginning and 'Jamaica'...actually I think they were all brilliant! Can't wait for next Sunday!

Caz said...

Oh Finnemore! This is BRILLIANT! Radio Prune for the 21st century

Andrew said...

Absolutely marvellous. I'm a latecomer (in spite of loving the Mitchell podcasts it's only since the extraordinary phone hacking piece I've paid close attention), but this show was wonderful.

Ross Bennett said...

One thing: There's a clip on the Radio 4 programme page called "Water Into Wine" which was seemingly removed from one of the shows.

Only problem is it's been region locked, so it's not available here in Texas. One presumes it's not available outside the UK.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who'd enjoy hearing it or reading a transcript. So if that's not too big an undertaking, could we have one of those, please?

chris.lane@ntlworld.com said...

Very funny from beginning to end.
Also available this week as the BBCs comedy of the week podcast.

Looking forward to next weeks episode.
Toodle pip, Chris

Lizbeth said...

Excellent. Particularly enjoyed the Tardis sketch. Your influence has clearly reached the current series of Doctor Who. In the latest episode the Doctor says "I'm literally an otter's toenail away from getting us out of here".

Still looking forward to another series of 'Cabin Pressure'.

Musical Lottie said...

@Ross Bennett without wanting to give away too much, I think the Water into Wine sketch will be present in a later show (providing it wasn't cut).

Ross Bennett said...

Thank you, Musical Lottie! I hope that is the case. Or if not, it'd be plenty splendid if it's included in the CD of the series when it's released.

Susanhead said...

I never post comments on a website - but it's now Tuesday night and I still keep laughing at the female guard who lied... love it and the Tardis ambition and Pooh's addiction... and honestly what a laugh. Great writing, timing and just brilliant!

Susan (but is it all a lie?)

Nabend said...

Just listened to the show and it was absolutely brilliant. The best sketch show since That Mitchell and Webb Sound/Look, maybe better.
"Jamaica" had me in stitches!
Great cast as well! So congratulations all round and keep it up!

SAL said...

It was wonderful!

Gordiana17 said...

Oh, I liked it very much!
Especially answering machine sketch and honey-addict sketch :D
And Guardians too. Maybe I should stop now. Loved them all!

elbuho said...

Wonderful show, a worthy successor to the great radio sketch shows of the past. I hope you don't mind, but I did this:
http://youtu.be/tgbk4lmrdF8

Musical Lottie said...

@Ross Bennett Re: the Water into Wine sketch, I've had a look and a listen, and I was wrong. Firstly, the description says that it didn't quite make it into the finished series; and secondly, I recognise a man's laugh from when we were at the recording. Sorry to have sort of got your hopes up; I'll keep my metaphorical mouth shut in future :(

Anonymous said...

just listened on the iPlayer and really enjoyed it. Pooh made me snort, the Tardis noise made me oddly sad and the voice messages had me shrieking with laughter and cringing by turns. Quite some emotional breadth you've got going there!

Ross Bennett said...

@Musical Lottie Thanks for checking it out for me, though! And please don't be quiety-like.

But tell me...this Water Into Wine sketch: Was it perchance a socratic inquiry of some past era when the ill-consideredness of willy-nilly aquavinous transmogrification might have been raised?

Because I would hate to miss that.

Robin Tamblyn said...

When you said "I've got a killer whale" I was expecting the next line to be "AAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEE! Hear my killer wail!" But "Or Orca, if you prefer" was wonderfully deadpan too....

KiboshTheWholeCaboodle said...

@Ross Bennett Sorry, I know that the question is addressed to someone else but I had to enter this conversation simply because your use of words in that last comment is so lovely!

It wasn't so much ill-considered as people thinking that "aquavinous transmogrification" is a fun skill to have and deciding to take advantage.

J said...

Just had a chance to listen and enjoyed it hugely. The Three Guards was definitely my favorite (followed closely by Jamaica), but I don't think there was a dud in the whole show (quite an achievement in an industry of hits and misses). Count me as another ISIRTA fan who's delighted to see the tradition continue.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for that episode. The tardis sketch was the funniest and it got me through a massive traffic jam on I 75

Ross Bennett said...

@KiboshTheWholeCaboodle Thank you! Yes, of course. Now that you say it, I realize the wholehearted enthusiasm for abilities like that is much more Finnemoresque than complaining about it. I can almost hear Arthur imagining a million otters and saying, "WOW!"

The more I think of it, the notion of complaining about inconvenience of the water-into-wine thing would be is much more Jeremy Hardy than John Finnemore, innit?

Nae said...

Wonderful stuff! Almost peed myself during 'Rerecord your message' and 'Three guards'.
Oh, and 'TARDIS noise' was inspired! Am looking forward to more.
Allons-y!

Emma said...

Finally got to listen and loved it. My favorites were the guards and "Before You're Thirty." Well done!

MCS said...

I'm halfway through and so far it's very funny. I'm going to go get a Snickers candy bar now and when I return I hope to find the rest of the show equally funny or I will express my dissatisfaction here in a poorly-spelled Youtube-style racist diatribe.

MCS said...

Drat, it was great. Oh well, off to Youtube...

Eclectic Man said...

@Ross Bennett > "Finnemoresque".

OK. so how long before that is in the OED?

You have arrived when you've been adjectivised!

I really do want to know what happened after 'rerecord your message'.

baileybomps said...

Genius. We saw you at the Albany, managed to get tickets for the second BBC recording (was unlucky for the first). So happy that it was the Comedy of the Week podcast for Radio 4, because I could replay it to my boyfriend and family... Really hope to be able to buy the series when it's complete to add to my Cabin Pressure sets. Best sketch show since 'A Bit of Fry and Laurie' and 'Big Train'. Sorry if that's the wrong thing to say, but it doesn't get any better than that for me. Keep 'em coming and let's hope the TV sitcom works out too!

Leah said...

It was fantastic! At the start I was giggling uncontrollably and by the end my stomach was aching and my mother was asking me if I was okay because I was laughing so hard I cried.

The goat twist killed me.

LynneM said...

I really, really enjoyed the first episode and I'm looking forward to the rest of the series. "Answerphone" was particularly brilliant- a veritable tour de force! I also loved the episodes of Cabin Pressure 3 that I managed to catch- I am now waiting to buy the series for my iPod so I can hear the ones I missed-(I get continued pleasure from Series 1 & 2.) Congratulations on the WG nomination- well deserved and good luck.

Pipit said...

Absolutely LOVED the show! John, you are a breath of fresh air!
Living in th US, I don't even watch television anymore. Nothing worth watching. Of course, American radio is either music or talk, so I listen to BBC.
The last sketch reminded me of the P.G. Wodehouse "Oldest Member" shows. The "Winnie-the-Pooh" was genius and the "Leave a Message" was hysterical!
I can't wait until the next show! I hope we'll get more "Cabin Pressure" before long as well.

Miss Pear said...

I think (at least I hope) you know my feelings on this, John. :) *shuffles away awkwardly*

Anonymous said...

Excellent and fresh - a rare combo. 'Three guards' and the '500 things to do before you're 30' sketches were my favourite.

Your new fan, Dar es Salaam, Tanzania

Anonymous said...

Brilliant! I laughed constantly throughout. The husband will be made to sit through it upon his return. Or rather more craftily, I shall have it on as he comes in and he'll ask what it is and then listen. If I tell him he should listen he wont, if he thinks its his idea he'll love it. I caught him that way with Cabin Pressure.
Keep up the good work - no pressure :)

Ben said...

This show was so fresh, witty, inventive, and hilarious. I was disappointed only when it ended. More please!!

Pauline said...

I just listened to the podcast - this was HILARIOUS! Have to play it for the rest of the family now.

Myles said...

Dear John
Caught episode one on iplayer and really enjoyed. Laughed out loud several times and grinned a lot when I wasn't actually laughing. Just listened to your second episode and had a repeat performance of the above emotions. The Archers sketch was wonderful.
Thanks for making us laugh.
Myles

Kate said...

I am listening again to episode 2 and absolutely loving it--really really funny. Thanks for brightening my day.

Eclectic Man said...

Excellent second episode. Particularly the Archers (as I'm allergic).

Nance said...

I survived the first episode of the new American tv show - "Pan Am." Verdict? Arthur is a more compelling airline steward and (I imagine) looks twice as nice in uniform.
Happy Birthday!

Maddy said...

The Pooh sketch was priceless - esp. the trepidatious plea from Piglet "but, Pooh, when you can't get your fix I'm scared of you..." But now I've gone back online to post a link to the listen again for my friends it has expired :-( Is there anywhere else I can get this - or a transcript??

Anonymous said...

oh my - you mean this isnt what the archers sounds like? 'cos honestly this is every episode I've ever accidently tuned into lol. Highlights for me were Catnav, hungry hippos and file not found - hilarious.
Thank you

Chris said...

Downloaded it. Listened to it. Liked it. Deleted it. Thought about it. REALLY liked it. Should have paid more attention to it. Downloaded it. Listened to it. LOVED IT! Kept it. Thanks John!

Robin Tamblyn said...

Just listened to episode 3 - liked that Douglas Adams reference - "go stick your head in a pig..." Another great episode, Exam Question and Mystery Tale my faves.

VB said...

Easily one of the funniest sketch things I've heard in years. Easily a 95% hit rate and I haven't laughed so hard and so often in a long time. By virtue of it's general themes rather than contemporary leanings I'm all but certain it will become a classic. Please make another, longer, series swiftly.

Fonce Falooda said...

Dude, that last sketch of Episode 3 is brutal!!! ISIRTA LIVES!!!! :)

Loving the show, from NYC!

Anonymous said...

It's WONDERFUL. And thanks for not doing returning characters - I'm so sick of the idea. Is it anything other than an excuse for not coming up with new ideas?

There's so much to enjoy in your show - many thanks for such terrific work.

Anonymous said...

I love the archer's sketch.... i have an urge to listen to it every time i hear the them tune (just before the off button). Is there a place where i can find that sketch on tap...i neeed it.

Bruce Fielding said...

Absolutely loved it. Probably THE best thing in comedy on radio for the last five years. Well done. You have every right to feel proud. The word ejaculated most whilst listening? 'Genius'.

Anonymous said...

Okay, meerkat, symbols... WHAT?!! Great song, but this one obviously got lost in translation. Please someone explain what the hell he's singing about. Please?

-Fonce in NYC

Anonymous said...

"Many months, and many, many magpies." LOL!!!!!!!

-Fonce

Musical Lottie said...

@Fonce
Simples, not symbols. It comes from an advertising campaign for a car insurance comparison website that started in 2009. These might help explain:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ow9qNEIV2sw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0mXUC0cUPg

(See also, 'No matter how flawless your Russian-accented squeak' in the song)

Hope this helps!

Musical Lottie said...

I keep forgetting to say: the podcast for episode one has the end of The Archers before Souvenir Programme starts, and the continuity announcer says that next time, 'so-and-so* makes a tentative suggestion', and even that makes me snicker every time - I shall never be able to listen to The Archers again!

(*I can't remember the name).

Anonymous said...

"Simples". Got it.

It's like the way I yell "FINNEMORE!" in my head every time I see his name written, because of the "Hennimore" sketches from Mitchell and Webb Look. I think I'm clever, but I'm not, really. ;)

Thanks, Lottie! One less mystery in the universe. :)

-Fonce

Sarah-L-B said...

You have no idea how much this radio show made me smile. Not just laughing out loud but real ear-to-ear smiling with happiness too :D Which is almost better because I still felt really cheerful even after I was done laughing... ;)

There was actually a line in the first episode which came as music to my ears. I'm sure you didn't mean to make any sort of grand statement but the line was: "It turns out you don't need to procreate if you don't want to." YES! Thank you! Like I said I'm sure you didn't mean to make some grand statement at all but as a believer in the Childfree lifestyle that line was just so good to hear :D you wouldn't believe the backlash some people get for not wanting to breed...

"One: be kind, two: have fun" sound advice :D

Anonymous said...

Superb. Absolutely superb.
The first episode was full of excellent sketches, good humour and making strong points. Brilliant. Looking forward to the next three episodes!

Johan said...

What an amazingly brilliant series John. Well done sir... Very well done... You deserve a trophy!

I was devastated to have missed the last episode on iPlayer but then found it on YouTube (don't tell the Beeb).

There aren't many comedy sketches I could share with mates at the pub, work colleagues and my mum, but all yours work a treat across the board.

The great rapport between the very talented cast was obvious.

The world is a happier place with you in it.

Though in future I won't be able to hear Alan Bennett narrating Winnie the Pooh without thinking about psychotic tigers with a steroid addiction.

Edward said...

I do hope that all these positive comments more than make up for the stupid comments from the people who wrote to Feedback saying they didn't understand the show/didn't find it funny/wanted something to complain about. The show was wonderful, another excellent addition to Radio 4 and the praise is well deserved. By the way, am just catching up on all of this as am on the other side of the world, hence delay. Edward

safe meds said...

I can't wait for the episode 2 of this amazing show!

Anonymous said...

You aced it :)

DEANO said...

Really Love Cabin Pressure
And Was Pleasantly Surprised How Good Your Sketch Show Is Cant Wait For More.I May Have Missed Something But Why Only 4 Shows?

DEANO said...

Really Love Cabin Pressure
And Was Pleasantly Surprised How Good Your Sketch Show Is Cant Wait For More.I May Have Missed Something But Why Only 4 Shows?

DEANO said...

Really Love Cabin Pressure
And Was Pleasantly Surprised How Good Your Sketch Show Is Cant Wait For More.I May Have Missed Something But Why Only 4 Shows?

Hector said...

John

Please could you tell me where these programmes can be downloaded from? Episode 1 was great, but I couldn't find others.

Anonymous said...

Hey, new fan here.
I just discovered you yesterday, and I must say, I love your work.
Thank you so much for the laughs!

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kopstar said...

which episode had the "are you a cat person or a dog person" sketch in it?