That's right!! It's ALL for SALE! Hurry hurry hurry, because these bargains won't be around for long! Avoid that soulless clinical look with our pre-stained and pre-broken whiteboards! Teach your child about depression with Princess Teardrop's Grey Castle of Sadness! Beat the rush by getting your Christmas tree in April - now available in fashionable brown! Or why not simply let Lady Luck into your life with one of our Plastic Bags O' Mystery! Contents guaranteed to be surprising! (Terms and conditions apply. Surprises may be upsetting or horrifying as well as nice. By taking ownership of a Bag O' Mystery, you are also liable for any crimes they may contain evidence of)
I don't care what the shiny thing is, but it's shiny, so I want four.
ReplyDeleteLOL, but do you take paypal and do international shipping? Only John Finnemore can take a picture of a garage sale and make it funny :)
ReplyDeleteI'll take a few bricks from the wall, the dirt bike in the corner if it still runs and the camera that took the picture. (It does say All for sale.)
ReplyDeleteMystery bag for me please. I like surprises!
ReplyDeleteAre we sure this stuff isn't for Sally, and they just can't spell?
Saff :-)
At least they didn't write "All for sail".
ReplyDeleteThe garbage can lid is really shiny. I'll take it.
ReplyDeleteanon in hull shakes head like the big anglepoise lamp in Luxo. Wonders if you hit on the Priory because you sit at the front on the bus and so could recce it in advance? Nice pub very helpful staff, just wish I could remember more of the show.
ReplyDeleteI'll take the picture in frame please. It looks so browny-bluey.
ReplyDeleteThe /best/ way to get rid of your dead bodies and murder weapons. }:D
ReplyDeleteLets be fair though, at least they didn't add a maniacally cheery exclamation mark at the end, as if they were saying:
"Yes! l know! It's /all/ for sale! You can buy any bit you want! Aren't you lucky?"
Ahem. Yeah. Anyway, thanks for brightening up my day (night?) a little!
wrap it all up and send it to Ed Reardon for slagging off David Mitchell in the last episode of his eponymous Week.
ReplyDeleteNo, I think they were just trying to throw away a sign they had previously used at a sale of nice things. But it didn't fit in the bin.
ReplyDeleteAnd on another note, just how HARD is it to throw away an old rubbish bin?
ReplyDeletePeople hitting the hard times. Come on.
ReplyDelete@ Pauline - on this other side of the Pond, it's quite easy to get rid of an old rubbish bin if it's made of metal. A friend of ours put theirs out for the regular pick-up, and in the morning their trash bags were still there, but the bins were gone!
ReplyDelete(Which just goes to prove that we need more John Finnemore over here - then people would be too busy enjoying all that lovely comedy instead of committing petty crimes!)
I'll take the useful blue rubbish sacks and the slightly-used wheelie bin, thanks!
ReplyDelete@ClosetDiva: I'm not sure that having night scavengers in US towns is anything to be proud of. On the other hand they're not exactly the chiffoniers of old. I once cut up some heavy angle iron and put it out, only to see it loaded into a passing car by an old lady.
ReplyDeleteBy "chiffonier" I mean a 19th century French rag-gatherer, not the eponymous piece of furniture.
ReplyDeleteThis is enterprising!!
ReplyDeleteWhat IS the going rate for bags of old hedge clippings? I've got four bags just waiting to be taken up to the green waste place today but your post/their audacity has now given me an idea.
Now where's my little whiteboard...?
@ Daedalus: Apologies, I didn't mean to make that sound as if I were proud of the night scavengers/chiffoniers.
ReplyDelete(And a sincere thank you - as a writer I'm always interested in learning new vocabulary & historical facts!)
Off topic, but can't help noticing that next Saturday (April 14) is the Sheep Grand National - www.thebigsheep.co.uk/family-attractions/springevents.html
ReplyDeleteI'm particularly fascinated by the statement "We hold are [sic]normal sheep races every day at 3:50pm.
Normal sheep races?? Mr Finnemore, I'm sure your imagination can run riot with this...
That castle would be the perfect abode for the gnome of doom on my neighbor's ledge! Who do I contact to make an offer?
ReplyDeleteanon in hull wonders if she or Annie should carry a health warning, just tried to inhale a mouth full of tea, very funny :-)
ReplyDeleteSay what you will, it takes chutzpa to try to get money for a dried up, dead Christmas tree!
ReplyDeleteA fine win on The Unbelievable Truth, Mr Finnemore. Well done you.
ReplyDeleteAnon in Hull is watching 10 o clock live, it is good, David Starkey was brilliant :-). John is there anything you cant do, you know like Douglas doesnt experience either??
ReplyDeleteI see a very attractive brick wall in the background. Can I have it? (Since you say that everything in this picture for sale.)I want to clarify that I need not 2-3 bricks, but the entire wall, possibly with surrounding buildings.
ReplyDeleteThe Apprentice team missed a trick here. Maybe if they'd known about that brown tree they'd have made shabby chic of it and won the task!
ReplyDeleteIf you sign the "All for sale" sign, I'll have that and give you £5. You cannot argue with a mark-up like that! :D
ReplyDelete"ask what those little stalky things on giraffes' heads are for."
ReplyDeletesuper hardened soft cartilege, males have bald ones females have hairs on theirs, like sneetches then perhaps??
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_are_the_horn-like_objects_on_the_head_of_a_giraffe
anon in hull has just downloaded the soap boxes, ho ho ho :-)
ReplyDeleteSurely only the French could make rag-gatherers sound chic! Chiffoniers...ooo la la I vill 'ave deux pour ma maison! Merci! In Martin's (or Benedict's) best French accent.
ReplyDeleteanon in hull hangs head in shame, dont even like dark choc toblerone, no spot hit, loved them when i was about 7 :-(. Sorry Arthur
ReplyDeleteDear John, anon in Hull asks if you
ReplyDeleteheard the one about the pilot too busy on his mobile to drop wheels, well you have now. Would HAVE to be Douglas of course :-P
http://news.uk.msn.com//blog/trending-blogpost.aspx?post=8b598229-310b-48a1-a553-44a6ce4af523
Just wanted to say, I've been listening to Cabin Pressure...and YOU ARE AMAZING. Thank you so much!! :D
ReplyDeleteHey! Hands off my stuff! signed, Sale (Mr)
ReplyDeletetoo much cumberbitching, but look what i found, this is really nice, shame its not on a t shirt website
ReplyDeletehttp://thecakeisalive.tumblr.com/post/9827626283
simply dropping by to say hello
ReplyDeleteSay what you will, it takes chutzpa to try to get money for a dried up, dead Christmas tree!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the insightful post! While navigating the whimsical rules of the Yellow Car game is a fun read, I couldn't help but think about the practical side of travel. If you're heading to Heathrow Airport, consider exploring Heathrow Airport Cheap Parking options by Express Parking for a stress-free and budget-friendly solution. It's one less game to worry about, allowing you to focus on the excitement of your journey. Safe travels and happy parking!
ReplyDelete