Wednesday, 10 April 2013

The Ballad of Jane - a cautionary tale.

You know how sometimes you're browsing in a DVD shop, and you notice that the little divider things with the film names on them are telling you a short story?


Yes, you do. 

Of course you do. 

Like this: 



Poor old Jane.

38 comments:

riflet said...

That's what Jane gets for hanging out in DVD stores,I suppose.

Congratulations on the well-deserved Sony Radio Academy Awards nomination!

Sony 2013 nominations

Nominated in "Best Comedy:" John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme – BBC Radio Comedy for BBC Radio 4

Anonymous said...

That's really funny. Poor Jane, lol. Kind of an ominous ending too. Lesson learned: stay away from DVDs. Or at least the 'I' section...they're keeping an 'I' on Jane...sorry, I'll stop now.

--ks from Illinois

Anonymous said...

The second and third are downright threatening. Although if "it" involved being hugged by a young Nic Cage, I wouldn't complain.

Sarah-L-B said...

That's right up there with the Toilet Boys CD section I found....

Mandy (from Australia) said...

Congratulations on your Sony Awards nomination, Mr Finnemore. Fingers and toes crossed!

Anonymous said...

I love how you notice those kinds of things! I never would have!
-Jade

Anonymous said...

They say it was an accident. . .


'n congrats, etcetera on things just lining up as they sometimes do!

Tg said...

Well spotted. Thanks for making me smile on a not so good day. Think I need to listen to some of my cabin pressure cds to lighten a heavy day.

Mandy said...

Whatever "it" was, it was a bargain: only GBP6!

Justine said...

LOL, reminds me of the awesome question-and-answer movie double bills.

Anonymous said...

I am, of course, hearing the titles in a Douglas voice.

JETTCO said...

I'll have you know that Doris Day played Jane in that movie...and she's just NOT that kind of a girl !

*carameleyes* said...

Research shows warnings are most heeded by people when displayed in DVD sections of shops with cautionary tales about a Jane Doe !

Caroline said...

Well spotted!
It somehow reminds me of the aisle in our local Tesco's which used to sport the banner 'Seasonal Muesli'. No story to tell as such, but it always intrigued us....

Cate R and Jane C said...

Dear Mr. Finnemore-
I just had the pleasure of meeting your friend Sally and her lovely family at a museum in Grand Rapids, MI. If you happen to have a moment, please extend my apologies again for positively freaking out when it came to be known that she was friends with you. I think I started yelling in excitement. Mortifying.

Wishing you the best from GR!
Cate R and Jane C- Fans from across the Pond!

Sam. said...

They'll probably release Jane's what-a-to-do soon on a multi-disc DVD. It'll save some display space.

On another note, hurrah for the blog administrator.

Niblick III said...

Now I can just imagine this a game the MJN crew play...

RedScharlach said...

What a gem of a find!

You may also like the work of an artist who's doing a similar thing with book spines, although in her case, deliberate re-arrangement is involved, rather than just the workings of chance!

Caroline said...

I think that the saddest part of all is that the first thing I noted about this post was that the picture was taken at HMV. After three and a half years of working at one here in Canada, I'd never mistake those headers/labels for another company's.

Anonymous said...

Well in "It Could Happen to You" the guy wins the lottery so I suppose I would be happy if it happened to me.

Jane Russ said...

I just want you all to know I'm fine - it was an accident as you know and anybody could have done it, the door had been left open...what more can I say!!

p.s. fab about the nomination, nobody in the same league in my book. Very well deserved.

Anonymous said...

Opened a book at random in my local library, and the very first words I saw were "The Earl of Aberdeen, George Hamilton Gordon" and all I could think about was the Earl of Aberdeen's "best" joke... Best randomly-selected book coincidence I have yet discovered :)

Becky said...

Here's my Arthur plushie with a polar bear. He's been hanging around with Loki and the new Star Trek villain. They've got something in common- they have all killed men. http://tinyurl.com/buxabgy

Lillian Bellamy said...

It never happens to me! (I never see these things, but I am the cause of them sometimes,I had to call a gent called Michael Hunt to the telephone once and called him Mike, you get the picture, I didn't: Honest)

Tara said...

Dear John F.,

once again the proof that editing is a very important proces in writing. We are not that different from sculptors...
Note that things could have been worse for Jane.
I am very glad about JFSP 3! Hooray and keep up the fantastic work.

Seanna said...

That was hilarious! :)

Helena said...

I have just returned from a holiday in Italy, and I couldn't help but notice, in my dad's attempt to circumnavigate the Vatican, a monument emblazoned with none other than a triskelion, which, as you noted two years ago, is the most prominent design on the flag of the Isle of Man. As the monument was inscribed in Italian I have no idea what it commemorated, but to my knowledge the military disputes between Italy and the Isle of Man have been somewhat limited. I plan at the next opportunity to ask a friend, who is fluent in Italian, the translation of 'whithersoever you throw it, it will stand'- although my faith in the Italian language's capacity is wearing thin, given an Italian train announcement on the way to Rome that was abruptly punctuated with the words 'sandwich' and 'welcome drink'.
It is also amusing to note that every manhole and water/sewage pipe entrance on the streets of Rome are engraved with the letters 'SPQR'; which kind of puts the rest of Europe's grumblings about Britain's longing for its days of empire into perspective, don't you think?

Anonymous said...

I have just found John Finnemore's souvenir programme. You, sir, are brilliant. If I had to describe you in one word, that would be the one I'd use. Really talented, and brilliant, and funny. Although I do always hear you as Arthur on it. Which makes it even better :)

Helena said...

Just listened to episode two of the Unbelievable Truth on iPlayer- congratulations on your speech, you were the best on the panel as always, fantastically clever and funny. I wonder if they're ever going to give you something trivial to talk about? Between the BBC and Boris Johnson, they seem to be relying on you to give the show some political weight. Which seems to be something of a lost cause for what, I am guessing, is the only show on air containing the sentence 'I will remind you of the company of moles'.
Are you going to be making an appearance on the News Quiz this series? And what's this I hear about a third series of Souvenir Programme? When will it be recorded? I can't wait to get tickets...

Anonymous said...

Not really a posting sort of girl, well middle-aged woman and therein perhaps lies the problem, but longed to say that my 9 and 13 year old daughters are terminally addicted to Cabin Pressure, having caught Wokingham and then engaged in a LOT of catching up in the past few weeks. We now (apparently) have Christmas 2013 in the bag as we will, in a straightforward if not economic or imaginative way, be giving Complete Series to all and sundry. I am also smitten and life now revolves around adapting CP quotes to everyday life, playing yellow car of course, or in the youngest's case showing off our knowledge of the world around us in school, in which she has recently excelled (bears, capital cities, syllables, aerodynamics..). In my case, I fear my colleagues may have witnessed more than usually languid put-downs in the staff room as I give way to my inner Douglas. Husband a bit baffled by the obsessive nature of our new hobby, but laughs a lot too. Only problem is that I said Brilliant five times in the space of two minutes when I collected my car from the garage. As I say, I am just slightly the wrong side of whatever age it is that you find approaching strangers to be acceptable, but such is the magic of MJN that I couldn't help myself. Thank you very much!

Luci Mahon said...

Fab observation, John. I adore these kind of things! Thank you for making me smile and inspiring me. :-)

Trina Dubya said...

Can stop laughing.

*right clicks, sets as desktop background*

Trina Dubya said...

I did a Stoopid. My previous comment was supposed to say "Can't stop laughing."

*facepalm*

Anonymous said...

http://phyllisnotreally.tumblr.com/post/49461266249/i-find-this-amusing

My more romantic version I found in the DVD store.

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Chitarra said...

Ok... I'm reading this at about 1:30am, and it just made me laugh so loudly that the neighbor in the next flat just pounded on the wall. X-)