Monday, 2 January 2017

Three poets who did not want to go to a party.

Vers de Society (Opening Lines)
Philip Larkin

My wife and I have asked a crowd of craps
To come and waste their time and ours; perhaps
You'd care to join us? In a pig's arse, friend.

Wishes of an Elderly Man, Wished at a Garden Party, June 1914
Walter Alexander Raleigh

I wish I loved the human race;
I wish I loved its silly face;
I wish I liked the way it walks;
I wish I liked the way it talks;
And when I'm introduced to one
I wish I thought "What jolly fun!"

On Mundane Acquaintances
Hilaire Belloc

Good morning, Algernon: Good morning, Percy.
Good morning, Mrs. Roebeck. Christ have mercy!


Élyssa said...

That second one there - did Dr Seuss ever confess to being inspired by Walter Alexander Raleigh? Perhaps he read Sir W.A.R. a little too young and it remained seared in his subconscious, a confusing childhood experience he later dealt with by writing his own versions to soothe children's minds the world over? I say 'perhaps', but...

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of Garrison Keillor's description of the relief everyone gets when an event, that was meant to have been fun, get cancelled.

Unknown said...

I've just been listening to (and thoroughly enjoying!) the episode of Richard Herring's podcast with you as the guest. At one point you mentioned that liver makes you feel sick, and Richard suggested that raw liver would be even worse. You asked whether people actually ate raw liver, and Richard said that they probably don't.

I am happy to inform you that some people really do eat raw liver! I was in a small village in Siberia a few years ago, and the people there eat raw liver as a good source of fat and protein (because it is so cold). They freeze the liver and grate it onto their food, as a seasoning.

So there you are! I thought that you might like to know that!
Very best wishes to you, and a happy new year!

Tealin said...

There seems to have been a lot of this sort of witty ditty around the turn of the century – it comes up often on Futility Closet. Was it something in the water, or a cultural fad? Or, as I suspect, was it a sweet spot between the advent of mod-cons like electricity and running water, and the arrival of attention-suckers like TV and Futility Closet. Bored at a party? Don't have a smartphone to check? Well then you'll just have to divert your anguished brain cells into crafting a wry poem about your displeasure.

I apologise in advance for introducing you to Futility Closet, if I am the one to do so. It helps not to have it bookmarked, if only because you get a modicum more exercise typing the URL manually.

Unknown said...

The third one is actually great fun if you imagine it composed The Morning After.

Lulu LaBonne said...

thank you, most useful plus the information regarding raw liver

Timothy said...

In which there were twentieth century hipster poets who just couldn't stand society man. I want a modern pop star to be this hipster but so far all we have is I'll Be Over Here.

Unknown said...

I've realized that I'm even more blase than I thought if I can relate to Wishes of an Elderly Man and I'm in my 30's. I feel right at home with the elderly gentleman's sentiments.

John Finnemore said...

Peter - Thank you for this information. Reading that genuinely made me feel a bit queasy. I hope you're happy.

Tealin - True. Influence of Ogden Nash and Dorothy Parker, perhaps? Or were they just joining in too?

Timothy - I think Philip Larkin might be the anti-hipster. Although I suppose he did like jazz.

Tabitha - I wouldn't worry. Misanthropy is a pleasure for all ages!

Unknown said...

Oh dear - I didn't intend to make you feel sick! I owe you an apology, John. I am sorry!
If it's any consolation, the liver had no smell and very little taste, owing to being eaten while frozen and in small sprinkles. You could look at it that way, if you like - there is a way of nullifying the smell and flavour of liver, should you ever be on an Arctic expedition and in need of the extra fat and vitamins.

Tealin said...

I think Nash and Parker were inheritors of the tradition, rather than originators ... Back when I was a F.C. addict I'd play a little game with myself to see if I could date the poems before getting to the date at the end, and had the best luck with the witty wry ones, which were generally c. 1890-1914 (earlier being more earnest and flowery, later being a bit looser), which is slightly before Nash and Parker's professional heyday. But they're very much in the same vein. One which seems to have narrowed somewhat in recent decades... Snark is well and all, but snark in rhyme and meter is so much more of an accomplishment!

Unknown said...

Testimony of Restoration with the help of Martinez Lexie( OR +18168926958)..

I have been in financial mess for the past months, I'm a single mum with kids to look after. My name is Renee Joan Rothell, and am from Ridley Park, Pennsylvania. A couple of weeks ago My friend visited me and along our discussion she told me about Mr Martinez Lexie of ( ); that he can help me out of my financial situation, I never believed cause I have spend so much money on different loan lenders who did nothing other than running away with my money. She advised, I gave it a try because she and some of her colleagues were rescued too by this Godsent lender with loans to revive their dying businesses and paying off bills. so I mailed him and explain all about my financial situation and therefore took me through the loan process which was very brief and easy.. After that my loan application worth 78,000.00 USD was granted, all i did was to follow the processing and be cooperative and today I am a proud business owner sharing the testimony of God-sent Lender. You can as well reach him through the Company website: OR text: +18168926958

Unknown said...

Hello everyone, I am Oliver Johnson Moore from Zurich Switzerland and want to use this medium to express gratitude to EDWARD JONES for fulfilling his promise by granting me a loan, i was stuck in a financial situation and needed to refinance and pay my bills as well as start up a Business. I tried seeking for loans from various loan firms both private and corporate organisations but never succeeded and most banks declined my credit request. But as God would have it, i was introduced by a friend named Lisa Rice to EDWARD JONES LOAN COMPANY and undergone the due process of obtaining a loan from the company, to my greatest surprise within 28hrs just like my friend Lisa, i was also granted a loan of $387,000.00; So my advise to everyone who desires a loan, "if you must contact any firm with reference to securing a loan online with low interest rate of 2% and better repayment plans/schedule, please contact EDWARD JONES LOAN COMPANY. Besides, he doesn't know that am doing this but due to the joy in me, i'm so happy and wish to let people know more about this great company whom truly give out loans, it is my prayer that GOD should bless them more as they put smiles on peoples faces. You can contact them via email on {} or Text +1(307) 241-3712

Lesley said...

Dear John Finnemore. I just enjoyed your excellent show on radio 4 Double Acts The Queen's Speech about Queen Victoria and the lady inventor of a voice recording machine. It was very enjoyable and well written. Also, both characters were played by women! Yes! real women and not men pretending to be women! WOW! I like your work generally, 'Cabin pressure', 'souvenir program', the other 'double acts' , all very well-written & well acted. thanks for them too. The thing is Mr Finnemore, most books, plays and films have fewer parts for females and we are so immersed in our own society that we can't see it. When I read to my child when she was small, I pretended the boy-characters were girls. I did this because it's ridiculous to pretend the boys do all the stuff and the girls look on. Even to myself, I sounded like a bonkers-mad feminist; reading, for example, House at Poo Corner with only Christopher robin being a boy and alll the other characters girls. But, why should Tigger Piglet Pooh and Eeore all be boys and only Kanga is the female? I recently heard a podcast about women's roles in the movies, and how few parts there are for women. EGIn the Witches by Dahl, most of the witches were men dressed up! So, I am very glad to come across a playwright who writes proper roles for women and lets women play them. Thank You! Best wishes, Lesley , and I hope to hear more of your work soon

شركة تنظيف said...

شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالدمام
شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالخبر
شركة تسليك مجارى ببقيق

alicetaylor said...

I understand what you bring it very meaningful and useful, thanks.

Monica Smith said...

I live in UK. My life is back!!! After 2 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down all this while. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr. Ogbefi of solution spell cast which i met on-line. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I came across several of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and also spell to get a good paid job so on. He is amazing, i also come across one particular testimony, it was about a woman called Vera, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped his email After reading all these, I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48 hours, my husband came back to me. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than ever. Dr. Ogbefi you are a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster, Try him any time, he is the answer to your problems. you can contact him on, he is the best caster that can help you with your problems. And also Reach him on WhatsApp Number: +2349057915709 Thanks Dr Ogbefi

سما المثالية said...

افضل شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالجبيل

Unknown said...

I was very impressed by this post, this site has always been pleasant news. Thank you very much for such an interesting post. Keep working, great job! In my free time, I like play game: What about you?

Linda said...

This is a great article. It gave me a lot of useful information. thank you very much.

Unknown said...

Good-day, I'm Josef Lewis. A reputable, legitimate & accredited lender. We give out loan of all kinds in a very fast and easy way, Personal Loan, Car Loan, Home Loan, Student Loan, Business Loan, Inventor loan, Debt Consolidation. etc

Get approved for a business or personal loans today and get funds within same week of application. These personal loans can be approved regardless of your credit and there are lots of happy customers to back up this claim. But you won’t only get the personal loan you need; you will get the cheapest one. This is our promise: We guarantee The lowest rate for all loans with free collateral benefits.

We strive to leave a positive lasting impression by exceeding the expectations of my customers in everything I do. Our goal is to treat you with dignity and respect while providing the highest quality service in a timely manner. No social security Number required and no credit check required, 100% Guaranteed. Kindly respond immediately using the details below if interested in a loan and be free of scams..

Call/WhatsApp: +16626183756

Unknown said...

Beautiful article to read, thanks for sharing such a lovely wishes.
Award Winning Diwali Rangoli Designs

المتوكل على الله said...

خدمات ركن كلين للخدمات المنزلية ومكافحة الحشرات بالرياض :-
شركة رش مبيدات بالرياض
شركة رش دفان بالرياض
شركة مكافحة الفئران بالرياض
شركة مكافحة البق بالرياض
شركة مكافحة الوزغ بالرياض
شركة مكافحة النمل الابيض بالرياض
شركة مكافحة الصراصير بالرياض
شركة مكافحة النمل الاسود بالرياض
شركة مكافحة الثعابين بالرياض
شركة مكافحة الحمام بالرياض

Ethan Willson said...

I was more than happy to uncover this great site. I need to to thank you for your time due to this fantastic read!! Happy New Year 2019 Wish I definitely enjoyed every bit of it and I have you bookmarked to see new information on your blog.

priya sharma said...

manali escort
manali escorts
manali escort service
escort service in manali
call girl in manali
call girls in manali
manali call girls
manali call girl
manali call girl no
manali call girls number
sex service in manali

Unknown said...

Hey Thanks for sharing this valuable information with us. I will come back to your site and keep sharing this information with us.
ncsecu login
price chopper direct connect

George Henry said...

I got my already programmed and blanked ATM card to withdraw the maximum of $5,500 daily for a maximum of 6 years. I am so happy about this because i got mine last week and I have used it to get more then $350,000 and ready to pay more. United Hackers is giving out the card just to help the poor and needy though it is illegal but it is something nice is not like other scam pretending to have the blank ATM cards. And no one gets caught when using the card.
WhatsApp: +351 965 761 372
Email :

Jagdish said...

diwali sms in english

Jagdish said...

Happy New Year 2020 images

ana said...

Class College Education training Beauty teaching university academy lesson  teacher master student  spa manager  skin care learn eyelash extensions tattoo spray

emoosh said...

شركة نقل عفش ببريدة
شركة نقل عفش بخميس مشيط
شركة نقل عفش بالقصيم
شركة نقل عفش بتبوك
شركة نقل عفش بابها
شركة نقل عفش بنجران
شركة نقل عفش بحائل

emoosh said...

شركة نقل عفش بينبع
شركة نقل عفش بنجران
شركة نقل عفش بحائل
شركة نقل عفش ببريدة
شركة نقل عفش بتبوك
شركة نقل عفش بالظهران
شركة نقل عفش برابغ
شركة نقل عفش بالباحه

emoosh said...

شركة المتحدة
دليل شركات نقل العفش
شركة نقل اثاث بالمدينة المنورة
شركة نقل اثاث بالرياض
شركة نقل اثاث بجدة
شركة نقل اثاث بمكة
شركة نقل اثاث بالطائف
شركة نقل اثاث بينبع

Peter Scofield said...

If you need the service of a reliable hacker to hack any cell phone, database, clear criminal records or recover your stolen bitcoin, contact or whatsapp: +1 3478577580