Wednesday, 28 September 2005

Also available: "Down With Cancer. I Am Great."

I've just come across this advert:

End Terrorism Wristband.
Official End Terrorism wristband inc. VIP band. Get yours now!

So many questions. In particular:

An End Terrorism wristband? Is that really our best idea?

'Official' in what way? Has someone copyrighted the opinion that terrorism should be ended? Is it now impossible to 'officially' express that sentiment without their approval? If so, I hereby copyright the sensation of feeling full, meaning anyone who eats a nice dinner should pay me royalties.

'VIP' in what way? Because if the VIP band (and incidentally, what would this look like? Is it a similar band to the End Terrorism band, or is it distinguished in some way, such as being six times the size, or encrusted with rare jewels?) is given out to everyone who buys the wristband, which Ps are the VIPs more VI than?

But most of all: do we infer from this advert that at some market research or focus group, someone gave feedback along the lines of: 'Well, yes, I am against terrorism, as it goes, and you've certainly persuaded me that the best way for me to help End It Now is to wear a wristband, since if the terrorists were to catch sight of it, it would certainly make them think again about thier evil deeds, or at least know that they couldn't count on my support. However. I'm not completely sold on the idea. And I tell you what would clinch this: if you could perhaps sweeten the deal by throwing in some sort of handy gauge of how important I am. Preferably 'Very'. Ok? Great. Bye.'


Unknown said...

What if the terrorists counter with 'panic' wristbands?

Anonymous said...

Then we morph into the Douglas Adams "Don't Panic" mode, and conquer their wristbands with our towels.

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