Wednesday, 5 April 2006

Penguins, however, He didn't get at all.

Sorry for the quietness, it's all got a bit busy round here. I expect you coped, though.

One of the tricks I use to fight my insomnia sometimes is to pick the dryest, dullest book I can find, and tell myself the only way I'm allowed to stop reading it is to go to sleep. Esentially, I'm holding my brain hostage. This plan was entirely foiled last night, however, by the promising sounding 'A Dictionary of Biblical Interpretation', which in no way lulled me to sleep with the brilliant sentence:

'It might be argued that one of the most clearly established facts about Jesus is that he found camels funny.'

Might it? Don't get me wrong, I certainly think it should be argued, if at all possible, but... really?

Of course, I shouldn't have doubted the authors - they're absolutely right. The evidence is all there in the Apocrypha, in particular the Gospel of Bob, Chapter 7:

4. And Jesus spake again unto the Pharisee, saying: Doubt not that the Father hath placed in thee- pfffffffff! 5. Sorry about that. Sorry. 6. No, as I was saying, doubt not that the bhahahahaha! Look at his eyelashes! 7. And His disciples, who stood about Him, turned one to another and lamented, saying: 8. Oh, bloody hell, He's off again. He's seen another camel. That'll be it for the day now. 9. And so it came to pass, indeed, that nothing else got done that day , but for Jesus waxing increasing mirthful about the camel, and its stupid hump.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

ahh this is terrific

i miss england

John F said...

Where are you, anonymous? If it's far enough away, we may be able to organise you an emergency air-drop of Marmite, PG Tips and irony.

James Casey said...

I sort of assumed the anonymous commentor above was saying she is Miss England, in the manner of Tarzan. In which case, kudos, John.

Rushing said...

I sort of assumed the anonymous commentor above was saying she is Miss England, in the manner of Tarzan. In which case, kudos, John.

Anonymous said...

Hi John - I thought I'd Google the Dictionary to see if I can acquire a copy, and discovered that Amazon values it highly - quick, trade in your copy now! :

Trade in A Dictionary of Biblical Interpretation for an Amazon.co.uk gift card of up to £0.25, which you can then spend on millions of items across the site.

P.S. I'm not sure how many million items you can get for 25p...

EMB said...

I don't know if you still get/read the comments on your blog, but if you do: this made me laugh out loud. Then I reread the title, and laughed again so much I had to wipe tears from my eyes. This blog is bliss.