Tuesday, 7 October 2008

Pieces of advertising material that have recently annoyed me. Part two of at least three.

On a biscuit packet: 'Have you tried... The Dunk?', with a picture of the biscuit being dunked in a cup of coffee.

Well, no, since you ask, I haven't. I haven't 'tried' 'The Dunk', as if The Dunk is the cool new craze that's sweeping the nation's hippest and sexiest young biscuit eaters. What I have done, in my time, is dunk a biscuit in a hot drink. And in fact, though modesty should prevent me from saying so, so precocious was I that I did it without even the aid of a diagram.

(PS. For extra irritation points, in the diagram the hot drink is clearly labelled as being the brand of coffee made by the makers of the biscuit. Because obviously if hot drink and biscuit are incompatible, The Dunk can go horribly wrong. People have lost an eye.)


Stu said...

So as not to become confused between the sport and comestible versions of the word 'dunk' (duhngk), let's follow some simple written instructions.

Most illustrations found on packets can be misleading and/or include product placement.

According to sport enthusiasts, "Nothing elicits awe and gets the crowds going in a basketball game like a "dunk", where a player slams the ball through the rim with their hand".

1) Invest in a good pair of shoes. Most dunkers find that high-quality shoes improve their ability to dunk, and more importantly, prevent you from getting hurt when you try to dunk.

2) Practise jumping around the mug or cup.

3) Practice handling the biscuit. Get a feel for how to use inertia to control the biscuit when your arm is extended. Even people who can palm a biscuit will lose grip when dunking.

4) Start with an adjustable height mug or cup, if you have access to one. Lower the height so you can get a feel for dunking, then raise it gradually to the standard height as you improve.

5) Dribble towards the mug or cup, then take the allowed two steps while palming the biscuit in your dunking hand. Jump as high as you can after your second step, extend your arm to the rim, and drive the ball through the opening of the mug or cup.

6) Dunk one-handed first. It helps to find a small sized biscuit to train with. It takes a lot more effort to touch the rim of the mug or cup with two hands, because you must jump high enough that both reach the rim. After that, you can progress to the reverse dunk.

7) The biscuit may come back and hit you in the face. Be prepared for it. Fear of getting hit will negatively affect your ability to dunk.*

8) Be persistent. You'll likely embarrass yourself during your first several attempts to dunk, but get up off the floor and try again. You'll be impressed at your improvement if you keep going.

Happy dunking John.

*See original post. See? You were warned ...

GALDUS said...

For some reason, I did not dunk a biscuit until I was in my mid-twenties. Perhaps if I'd seen the diagram, I might have done so earlier? But then, I've probably only done it about 10 times in my life since then (and I'm now mid-30s). So perhaps it doesn't matter.