Friday, 15 October 2010

Just wait till he sees the escalator at Angel.

Have just shared a lift at St Pancras station with two teenage boys from Yorkshire, who were apparently scripted for the occasion by Alan Bennett. My favourite exchange was:

First Boy: I tell you what: I've never seen a lift as big as this.

Second Boy: (scornfully) Well you won't have, in Bradford.

Obviously I have no way of knowing their relationship or circumstances, but I dearly hope the first boy left Bradford a couple of years ago, made good, and has now invited the other to visit and be introduced to his glamorous new life of London sophistication and massive lifts.

(Since you ask: It was a fairly big lift. I have, however, seen bigger.)

14 comments:

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hitch said...

This playing to type reminds me of the Essex schoolboys at a service station that I once overhead discussing "Braveheart" the movie they had been watching on their coach - "D'you see that bit? It woz brilliant - they decapitated him below the knee".

riffle said...

I was recently in rural East Tennessee, using the medium-sized land-grant-university city of Knoxville as a base to travel out into the hinterlands where work took me.

One person I dealt with in a sparsely populated neighboring mountainous county was a young man in his early twenties. He had several prominent monochromatic poorly rendered tattoos that I associate with incarceration. He wasn't a Bennett character, but Cormac McCarthy's early books probably depicted him.

When he heard that I was staying in Knoxville he exhibited the most peculiar wistfully lacivious expression, sighed, and then and nearly moaned: "Boy, I like Knoxville."

Later he pointed at an arts-and-crafts bungalow and asked me how much it would cost in New York City. I said such a thing doesn't exist in New York City.

He didn't ask why.

We did not discuss elevators.

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Parker said...

I know how they feel. When your from Bradford the majority of things in London whether it be lifts or gerkins can make the jaw drop.

Stu said...

Well, what comes up, must come down ..

tales from an oc cottage said...

Best use of "scornfully" I have seen all week!


m ^..^

Piques said...

Every time I see this post, for some reason I leave out the "at". Just wait till he sees the escalator Angel. I like the idea of some easily impressed soul looking at an escalator and thinking "This can only be the work of ANGELS!"

Piques said...

I used to live outside Aberystwyth. My husband had reason to go up to Peebles, Scotland with work mate who was a local lad. He came back home and we laughed about how this country boy did not know how to cross a busy road. My husband literally had to coach him across the road in fear that he would dash out in the middle of traffic.

We laughed about as much to that as a farmer did at us when he told his wife about this clueless city couple that had to call for his help to get past a group of sheep that had wandered on to the road. I swear, if it weren't for that farmer we would have herded that flock all the way to town.

Smileyfreak said...

That's very cool :)

I hope that your story is the case :)

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Anja said...

My reaction to this post nigh rivalled my reaction to every episode of Cabin Pressure Series Three (though mainly episodes Q and P which managed to dehydrate me, I cried so much in laughter) and I spent about fifteen minutes hyperventilating at this for reasons unknown to myself and must say managed to freak out my family as I could not explain to them what I was laughing at. All good now though, read it out to them and they each had similar reactions. Thank you so very much for defining my cheek muscles so, best work-out ever. Can't wait for CP Series 4!

Pony girl Fi said...

I'm years late to the party, however will share my story into the void ...

A few years ago I was working as a primary teacher in a wee school in a rural mining community in Scotland. And when I say rural, it was 20 miles and half an hour on the train from Edinburgh. Anyway, one morning I was planning a science lesson involving filtering water and needed some tights for this (it's all state of the art in primary teaching)so I picked some up in Asda on the way. As I was setting up, a wee boy said, "ewww, miss, are you using your manky auld tights? That's minging!"
Me: of course not! I bought these this morning so we could use clean, new ones.
Boy: wow- fae Livi? (Livingston -nearest town)
Me: no, just Asda in Edinburgh
Boy: (in a reverential whisper): fae Edinburgh?! Wow! (To the rest of the class): eh, see they 'hings, miss brought them all the way fae ... fae ... Edinburgh!
Class: wow!!!