Monday, 31 October 2011

Yet when I said the exact same thing in Tottenham three months ago, apparently THAT'S a criminal offence...

Today, I heard a mother say this to her son:

'Look, a policeman! Go on, run up to him and give him a scare!'

Now, there's an example of a sentence which is only good parenting under certain very specific circumstances. About seven pm on Halloween; in a leafy middle-class bit of London, and when the son is four years old, and dressed as an adorable lion - OK. Pretty much any other time or place... not so great.

The other memorable sentence I overheard on my walk was: 'Ethan! Never mind about your sweets - just put your willy away!' 

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dare one ask how old Ethan was? Only if the answer is 'fifty-five', I'm thinking that's a criminal offence too. Context is everything.

By the way, an Aussie friend of mine was asking yesterday how MJN would have handled the Qantas strike. We decided Douglas would have held an auction on the concourse - "Okay, highest bidder decides where we go! Anyone for South Africa?"

~theficklepickle (currently logged in as someone else, it's complicated)

Pa Broon said...

Jings! Oor Wullie widna jist scared yon copper. He widda knocked his hat off wi' a neep!

Anonymous said...

Overhearing things like that is surely one of life's greatest pleasures!

Sarah-L-B said...

"Pretty much any other time or place... not so great."

Very true. Try telling that to the good people of Wolverhampton. I was there on Halloween a few years ago...it wasn't a pretty sight.

Anonymous said...

Halloween costumes must be quite different over there. We don't tend to have anatomically-correct lion costumes complete with willies. Well, not for 4-year-olds, anyway.

Do you think the Mom meant for her son to scare the policeman with his lion costume, his willy or something else?

Pipit said...

It makes the mind reel!

By the by, my husband and I have a little wager on about the lyrics to the penguin song in one of the Souvenir shows. Is it,"That penguin's not neglected, it's his molting" or "it is molting"? No money involved, however, if he wins, I have to stop playing "Yellow Car".

Eclectic Man said...

@ Pipit

I asked Mr Finnemore if there was a cure for "Yellow Car Syndrome". Apparently there is none.

You are doomed (like me) to play 'Yellow Car' forever.

Simon Jester said...

Dateline New York City 11/11/11:

British man arrested in middle of Fifth Avenue. All he would say was "Yellow car...yellow car...yellow car...".

Pipit said...

So, can anyone settle our bet about the penguin song? Just what ARE the lyrics?

Also, John, will there be another series of Cabin Pressure soon? Plus, I'd love to hear your version of Goldilocks!

John Finnemore said...

Ficklepickle - That's a genuinely good plot idea! Promise not to sue if I nick it...

Pa Broon - Crivvens!

Anon - The two occasions were separate. Was that not clear? Ethan, 3ish, had been taking a comfort break behind a bush, and was more concerned with getting his sweets back from his sister than pulling his trousers back up. There was no anatomically accurate lion costume. Thank God.

Pipit - If I knew which way you were betting, I'd say the other one, just to save your poor husband from the horror of Yellow Car. But since I don't, I'll just tell you the truth, which is 'it is moulting'. (moulting with a u, because I'm English, donchaknow.)

Sparrow said...

Thank you John, I won! Though I doubt that my wife Pipit could ever stop saying, "Yellow car"

I'm a retired broadcaster and got addicted to quality radio comedy at a very young age. Thank you for your great programming!

More Cabin Pressure Please!

Anonymous said...

John, it's yours for a couple of tickets to the relevant recording (shameless plea) since I've never been successful in getting any yet and I've been a fan of RA's since 'The Scottish Play'.

~theficklepickle

Gaia Fay said...

There should have been a Halloween special of Cabin Pressure, with Arthur dressed as an aeroplane!!
(I bet Martin would have done that when he was younger!)

Daedalus said...

Just learned that (a) Steph Cole has been on Corrie for a couple of months (can't get Granada up by Lake Ontario) and (b) they are going to hook her character up with Robert Vaughn next year. Well, I suppose if they put him in a bustier like Blake Edwards did, it might be worth it...

Eclectic Man said...

I recently overheard a young man on his mobile saying: "I accidentally told her the truth".

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