Thursday, 6 October 2011

Who would have thought a biscuit could be punchable?

Hello, sorry it's been so long.

Now, I am a staunch biscuit supporter. Biscuits and me go way back. Biscuits can rely upon me as one of their staunchest supporters / devourers. Which makes it all the more painful when a biscuit betrays this trust by having something this nauseating written on it: 


Oh, god. That's so hateful I very nearly didn't eat the biscuit.

Very nearly.

21 comments:

kodama said...

This was an evil biscuit indeed!
Maybe he was ar least tasty?

Good to read from you again ;)
I'm in love with your Souvenir Programme. It brings me joy <3

Take care! And avoid GoogleTranslator-Loving Biscuits!

Sarah-L-B said...

I'm with you on this one, wild horses couldn't keep me away from biscuits! :D

BrassMonkey said...

Well, that seems a little harsh. I'm not sure the biscuit gets to pick which wrapper it gets wrapped in. Someone has done something very nasty to a lovely biscuit, and you want to punch it? At least you ate the poor thing...

Rachel Stewart said...

@BrassMonkey It seems that this biscuit is facing a lose-lose situation then. Torture by wrapper or death by eating.

And we think we're in a bad situation because we have to look at it...

BrassMonkey said...

@Rachel But bisuits exist to be eaten! I think they must enjoy it; I can hear mine crying out "Eat me! Eat me!" And they're in a tin. In a cupboard. In another room...

Miss Pear said...

It's one step from this to a brand of biscuits called something like Malt Moments or Wheat Whispers, each engraved with its own individual pretentious slogan entirely in lower case. Give me a sodding chocolate digestive any day. (Except, don't, or my meds'll need upping *grrr*)

Nance said...

I know a bistro in my neighbourhood that might serve those with overpriced coffee. It's called "Moments" with the slogan: Be you, inside.

Rebecca said...

"Time in progress" -- I can't decide whether that's redundant or profound. Or the name of my hypothetical new music band.

Musical Lottie said...

Oh dear.

That actually reads to me as though the biscuit's saying it's having 'it time' ... how does one know when it's finished?!


Nice to see a post (not, as originally typed, a posy) from you again, and your Souvenir Programme makes me cry with laughter. In fact with each re-listen I find the episodes even funnier because I know what's coming :D I so, so desperately hope all of the songs made next week's cut; I randomly get buts of them stuck in my head so it would be great to hear them again in full!


P.S. Will we find out any tome soon about the TV pilot you mentioned a while ago?

Kaitebon said...

It's like a fortune cookie's evil twin...

Ginge said...

Because nothing is more deserving of peace and quiet than a diva biscuit.

theficklepickle said...

I do hope you're a 'dunker', John. Then at least you could have had the satisfaction of drowning the bloody thing.

Anonymous said...

It's the L'Oreal of the biscuit world. Because you're worth it.

(Really enjoying the new show, BTW.)

Daedalus said...

Finally listening to Souvenir Programme number 3. "Able Seaman Johnson" indeed! I hope Ronnie Barker's ghost had a quick chuckle.

Waffle said...

It's a speculoos. They're massively untrustworthy and that's exactly the kind of thing I would expect from one.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern said...

So am I supposed to proudly display the biscuit wrapper whilst I am having my tea break to warn other people not to disturb? Because surely I'm then the punchable one.

-Rosencrantz

Anonymous said...

at least if you punch it you could create a crumble, well, if you add custard, apples or tomato sauce.
can I just say your souvenirs program is...brilliant

Real or not? said...

Aaah les Sp├ęculoos :D one of my country's speciality. Yes, it's a very evil biscuit.

Lucy H said...

i was at a hotel last month and found the same brand of biscuit. my sister and i decided not to eat them. (this was also because there was gingerbread as well. and gingerbread is obviously far superior.)

Anonymous said...

The concept of a biscuit needing 'me time' is the most disturbing thing I've heard of all week, and I work in taxes.

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