Monday, 18 July 2005

No 'Fossilised Fishhooks!', then.

Should you happen to be talking to any teenagers soon, and wish to impress them with how wicked and happening you are; these, I am told, are the words you should currently use rather than, for instance 'wicked' or 'happening'. I haven't made any of them up, though of course it's always possible the teenagers who told them to me did.

Bear - Very
Bait - Obvious
Long - Boring
Butters - Ugly
True dat - I agree
Flush - Attractive
Fly - Attractive
Safe - Cool
Raw - Cool
Sick - Cool
Hectic- Cool
Off the hook - Cool
Dread - Not cool
Low dat! - Accept it
You do it, I'll rate you hard - Should you go through with the scheme you have outlined, you will earn my respect and admiration.
Whatever Trevor - I no longer have any interest in what you have to say to me. (Not limited to interlocuters named Trevor.)
Whatever, Minger! - Not only am I uninterested in what you have to say, I also note you are distinctly lacking in pulchritude, and to reinforce these two points you will please observe that I am making first a 'W' and then an 'M' with my fingers. So that's you told.
Missions! - I consider the task you have just asked me to perform unduly arduous.
Blood - Friend
Bredrin - Close friend
Brother from another mother - Really very close friend indeed.

Doesn't it make you feel old? I thought I'd recognise at least some of them, but no, 'Cool' is still around, and that's pretty much it. I felt like a Victorian anthropologist stumbling through Africa "'Off the hook' Right. Is that good or bad? And 'sick' is good now, is it? I see."

Although there was one heartening moment when after a long string of 'raw', 'bait', 'Low dat' etc, one girl told me earnestly: "Oh yeah, and if like you don't even hear someone, right, you go 'Come again?' " Yes, dear. You and my Granny both.

7 comments:

James Casey said...

Hmm, I knew about half of them.

Do I get a prize for spotting the Jennings ref?

Pete M said...

Thanks for these John; I shall endeavour to get as many as possible into my final lesson with Year 9 tomorrow ;) - they think I think I'm witty, but I know they think that ...

John F said...

James - Only a sense of satisfaction at your own cleverness. Oh, wait, I see you have one already.

Pete - Excellent! No doubt you are now known as the sickest teacher in the whole school. In the good way, I mean. Incidentally, do I know you? You're certainly very welcome if I don't, I just wondered if you were one of the 'Pete M's I've met. Michaels, perhaps? Or McKay?

James Casey said...

I assumed he was related to Boney.

Pete M said...

'Looming' Pete to you if I remember rightly... back in SPiT terrace days

The Frog said...

Does it really mean that they never say "Brilliant !" ? I just can't believe it...

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