Middlesex pluckily takes a stand against the dreaded wall thieves.

An embarrassment of riches.

Ok, deadlines are out of the way, and normal service will now be resumed. Sorry about that. (You can make up your own minds whether I'm apologising that there was a break, or that it's now over.)

Today I saw this strapline on a women's magazine:

'Inside - Win A Designer Handbag Full Of Chocolate!'

Dear readers of that magazine: I can't help thinking that the guy who came up with that must either have had some pretty serious deadline trouble of his own this month... or he's openly mocking you.

Next Week: Win, I Dunno, A Cake In Some Shoes.

Also, nice use of brackets.

Sorry about the eerie silence last week - the air is heavy with the acrid smell of deadlines here at the moment. Normally, of course, that would mean a marked increase in blog-posting-as-displacement-activity, but these particular deadlines are big, angry ones that mean business, and they have me scared.

So, just time to report some graffitti seen in a pub loo:

'MUSLIMS OUT'

To which someone had added:

'This is a pub, you cretin. (They don't drink.)'

So, not disagreeing with first writer's message, particularly - just critical of his logistics.