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It's not often that a sketch comes directly from something I see, but this one did. I saw a guy ahead of me get pulled out of a queue at the airport- and the sniffer dog who found him was in a tail-wagging frenzy of joy. And that was the first time it had ever occurred to me to wonder what the dog thought he and his master were doing...

Horsebox

"Not entirely horseless, by the sound of it..."

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Here is a sketch I wrote, and a sketch I drew.

(I may do more of there. On the other hand, I may start with good intentions, but then quickly run out of steam, and stop after only a handful. It's impossible to say. But I know which way I'd bet.)

Very few camels about today. Precious few mice, come to that.

Photo credit: Mary Lee Agnew

Here is a poem by Kahlil Gibran:

A fox looked at his shadow at sunrise and said, "I will have a camel for lunch today." And all morning he went about looking for camels. But at noon he saw his shadow again - and he said, "A mouse will do."

A writer looked at his word count at sunrise...

Still, if you also had a mouse day today, take heart. Here's Ralph Waldo Emerson to cheer us up:

We do not know whether we are busy or idle. In times when we thought ourselves indolent, we have afterwards discovered, that much was accomplished, and much was begun in us. All our days are so unprofitable while they pass, that 'tis wonderful where or when we ever got anything of this which we call wisdom, poetry, virtue. We never got it on any dated calendar day. Some heavenly days must have been intercalated somewhere.

Thanks, Ralph! And nice use of 'intercalated'.

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I'm on tour from September to November! Venues and ticket links here.

What did the crab DO?

Ludlow's dog, yesterday.

Some of my favourite Victorian era Cornish Proverbs and Phrases, as recorded by Joseph Thomas, 'late of St. Michael's Mount, Marazion', in 1895.

Gaping like a duck against thunder.
Scrumped up like a hedgehog
All one side, like a crab going to gaol.
Always head and chief, like Jimmy Eellis 'mong the cats.
Worse than dirty butter and bally-ack
All on one side, like Smoothy's wedding.

And my absolute favourite:

Like Ludlow's dog - leaning against the wall to bark

('Bally-ack', by the way, is an ache in the belly. Not where you were thinking. )

John Finnemore's Flying Visit

If you've managed to find your way to see this, despite the fact that I've temporarily redirected johnfinnemore.com to go to a page of dates and ticket links for my UK tour in the Autumn, then you almost certainly already know that from September to November, I'm going on tour with the cast of Souvenir Programme. But in case you don't... I am!

It'll be mostly the same show as the one we did last year, which is why we've kept the title the same, and why we're not going back to any of the same venues. We will be swapping in some different sketches, though. I'd say not enough to encourage you to come again if you saw it last time... but enough not to actively discourage you. Which is just as well, because my producer turns out to have some quite strongly-held opinions about me actively discouraging people from coming.

If we're not coming to your town, my apologies. It will probably be for one of the following reasons:

1) It's too far away to be affordable to travel to, with a cast of five, a crew of three, and some very silly props.
2) There isn't a venue in the right size range for us.
3) There is, but they didn't have an available date.
4) There is, and they did... but they didn't want our show.
5) Margaret has been banned from your town because of something she did in what she calls her 'wild years' (2004-the present day)

For most places in the UK, it's most likely to be either 2, 3, or, of course 5. So many 5s...