Advert Google served up to me alongside my emails today:
'Dates Highland
Only if you are serious and from Highland. Free month.'
Sadly, I am not very serious, and not all from Highland. But I would dearly love a free month.
Thursday, 14 May 2009
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`Within a 30 minute interval this morning I received a text promising 100 free minutes, an e-mail pledging a free night, and a pop-up proclaiming I could have an extra free week. Although the impractically small footnotes, specifically written in a syntax designed to make reading them an unaccomplishable chore, did reveal that these are only available if I subscribe to a mobile phone service, buy an aggressively expensive hotel room for 2 nights, and purchase a holiday in Turkey within hiking/shelling distance of the Greek border. Hence, not really free at all then.
Pity – as real extra free minutes, nights and weeks, even if they aren’t technically free, would have been worth purchase at almost any price. Imagine facing an irascible boss for the third time in four days who keeps noticing your empty office chair at 9.10am. This is an especially problematic workplace situation since excuses for lateness can only generally be used once: “roadworks on bus route”, “unanticipated late night due to on-line poker binge” or “uncharacteristically interesting item on BBC1’s Breakfast” suffer a credibility expiry after one usage.
Instead, simply keep both calm and your job by using some of your free extra 100 minutes/nights/week, and you’re now on time everyday this week. Tube doors slam in your face: you only need to use 1 of those free 100 minutes, and you’re home from work in time for The Simpsons.
Anyway, back to work – my free time’s over.
This reminds me of a Monty Python 13-month calendar which advertised itself on the wrapping:
FREE BONUS MONTH !
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