Though some scientists predict we will eventually succeed in splitting the cheese.

Sorry for going quiet - I've been at the Edinburgh festival, narrating this, which, should you have children and be in Edinburgh, you should definitely see.

Whilst doing that, sometimes, if my description of the various colours and sizes of flowers in the Emperor's garden seemed to be going down big with the crowd, I would fearlessly batter down the fourth wall - I am a compulsive risk-taker as a performer - and ask a child what was the smallest thing they could think of. The results were as follows: four votes for 'a mouse'. One for 'a pin'. One for 'a daisy' (leading to the not entirely astonishing botanical revelation that the Emperor had flowers as small as daisies). One slow, pitying shake of the head. And, by far my favourite, one vote for 'a cheese'.