Showing posts with label Get Dressed Ye Merry Gentlemen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Get Dressed Ye Merry Gentlemen. Show all posts

Sunday, 1 January 2017

All that glisters is not gold.

At the end of the nineteenth century, a rich gold strike near the Mexican town of Tlalpujahua meant that for a few years in the early twentieth century, it was the largest producer of gold in the world. The mine was a huge industry, and the population grew to a quarter of a million. Then, in 1937, a major landslide buried the mine, and much of the town. The mine closed, and the townspeople were forced to go elsewhere in search of work. Within ten years, the population was under a thousand.

One of the men who left was Joquaín Muñoz Orta, who in the fifties ended up in Chicago, working in a factory making artificial Christmas trees. When he returned to Mexico, he set up a workshop making first trees, and then baubles to go with them. The baubles were far more popular, and the workshop grew into a factory... which is now the fifth largest producer of baubles in the world. There is also a second bauble factory in the town, as well as over a hundred small family workshops. The population of Tlapujahua is now back up to about a quarter of a million... and around 70% of the town's economy comes from bauble-making.

I just thought that was nice. Happy New Year.



Sunday, 22 December 2013

Nearly time to get dressed...

Merry Christmas!


Simon, Lawry and I did a silly thing for Radio 4's comedy advent calendar, which you can find here . Have a listen to the others, too- there's some great stuff on it. 

I also wrote the one which will go out on Christmas Eve morning, read by none other than Julie Walters! I know! (Warning - it will be fairly baffling if you're not a Radio 4 listener. It's pretty in-jokey.)

Anyway, hope you have a great holiday - perhaps even an unforgettable one, if someone close to you has been to this shop:


That's right. Give someone a Christmas they'll never forget… through the magic of socks. 

Saturday, 14 December 2013

KFC: Putting the 'bleak' into midwinter.

Is this the most depressing Christmas advert in the history of the world?





I can't decide whether it's worse if you imagine someone has written that label to themselves in a moment of bitter rage, hence the savagely sarcastic repetition of 'happy'; or as a genuine attempt to give themselves a bit of a lift by pretending the bag of takeaway fried chicken for one they're having for  Christmas dinner is a present. 

Either way, the really heart-breaking touch is the kiss at the end. 

Friday, 15 November 2013

Ho Ho… No, No, God No!


Ah, Christmas is coming, and good old Costa coffee are celebrating with some Little Moments of Festive Fun. How heart-warming. Little moments of festive fun, such as… the bloodily decapitated body of Father Christmas.


…Thanks, Costa. Merry Christmas to you too.

Wednesday, 5 January 2011

Almost Twelfth Night...

... I suppose that means it's time to take down the traditional Christmas Hatstand.

Saturday, 25 December 2010

Things on which I saw people slide down Primrose Hill this Christmas week.

- Sledges
- Trays
- Binbags
- Recycling box lids.
- A shelf.
- One of those pallets in which bakers deliver loaves.
- A 'Men at Work' road-sign.

And then there was this guy:



One of nature's optimists.

(While I'm here: some things you might care to listen to / watch on Christmas day, once you're bored with mince pies and arguing.

- Cabin Pressure Christmas Special, 8:30am, Radio 4. I wrote this, and am in it. 
- Now Show Christmas Special, 12.30pm, Radio 4. I wrote some stuff for this. 
- The One Ronnie, 5.10pm, BBC One. I wrote a sketch for this. The Attenborough one.)

Merry Christmas!





Wednesday, 13 October 2010

Cabin Presents

Hello. Sorry it went a bit quiet, I've been a little busy. And here's news of one of the things I've been busy with: 




My Radio 4 sitcom Cabin Pressure is having a Christmas special this year; a one-off episode which will go out, we've just been told, at 8:30 on Christmas morning! And then repeated at a more civilised time on December 29th, but I'm very chuffed to get a Christmas Day transmission. It will be recorded at the Drill Hall in London on November 7th, and if you'd like to come, the way to do so is to keep checking here:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/showsandtours/shows/tickets/radio

...for the (free) tickets to become available, which they will do, I am told, within the next 24 hours. They will then, if past experience is anything to go by, sell out very quickly, which is why I've asked to be allowed to give you advance notice here.

There will also be a third series of Cabin Pressure, though I'm aware that I've been saying this for so long now some people are beginning to disbelieve me. Nonetheless, there will be; it will be recorded early in the new year; and I'll try and give you a similar heads-up when the tickets for it are about to come online.

Oh, and in other cheerful Cabin Pressure news, I'm happy to say we've once again been nominated for a Writers' Guild Award. Hooray! 

Monday, 2 August 2010

Return Flight

Still in Sri Lanka, but have just discovered Radio 4 have rather sneakily started repeating Cabin Pressure series 2 while my back was turned. It's on Tuesdays at 6:30, and then on Listen Again for a week, which means you have have one day left to catch Helsinki, should you wish to, which is one of my favourites.

This seems like a good time to announce that before series three arrives early next year, there will also be a Christmas special, at, of all times of the year, Christmas.

Monday, 22 December 2008

...And the annual 'Favourite Guess From Christmas Games of Articulate' award goes to:

DESCRIBER:

It's a bird... like a magpie, but with bluish wings, I think... it's got the same name as a letter of the alphabet... A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I... ?  

GUESSER:
Kay!

Monday, 31 December 2007

There was no hesitation, either. Joe knows his friends, and he also knows those who are missing from that list.

Coo. Quiet round here, isn't it? Cobwebs and everything. Ah well, maybe I'll do better in the new year. I'll have a go, anyway. In the meantime, happy new year, and here is the latest in a very occasional series (by which I mean I've done it once before, and I'm doing it now): My Favourite Guess In The Game Of Articulate This Christmas Season:

Karl (describing 'stranger'): Someone you don't know!
Joe: Emily!

Sunday, 24 December 2006

His top hat is being re-lined.

Merry Christmas Eve, everyone. I'm off to Dorset to indulge in some family traditions like necking mulled wine with my sister, playing Ludo with my Granny, and smoking a thoughtful after-dinner cigar with the dog. Thank you for reading, and see you in the New Year.

Thursday, 19 January 2006

Mixed Messages

My girlfriend, because she knows me well, gave me lots of books for Christmas. The first one I unwrapped was called 'Never Let Me Go'. Hmm, I thought. Perhaps a little clingy. I unwrapped the next one... 'How To Be Alone'. Ah.

Friday, 23 December 2005

My favourite quote of the Christmas party season

Girl shows her friend the uncomfortable shoes she's been wearing all day.

Friend: 'God, you were shopping in those? I see what you mean!'

Girl: Yes! I wasn't exaggerating when I said I wanted to chop both my feet off!

Sunday, 18 December 2005

For the attention of Roy Wood, lyricist of 'I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day'.

Dear Mr Wood.

The snowman does not 'bring the snow'!!

The very first line of your song - and therefore the premise on which it is all based - seems to express your belief that the events described therein occur 'when the snowman brings the snow'. He simply doesn't. Obviously he doesn't. How could he? Snowmen are only created when there is snow to build them with. So it follows that they cannot possibly 'bring the snow', because their very existence indicates the snow has already been brought, by person or persons unknown. Just think about it. You don't see front gardens full of snowmen, standing in the middle of otherwise green and snowless lawns, and think to yourself 'Aha! There must be a snowfall in the offing - the snowmen are out!' No, of course you don't. Ironically, had you said 'When the snow brings the snowman' then you would have at least been on the right lines, although I realise you'd have run into problems with scansion. But they would be your problems, Mr Wood, not mine.

Furthermore, you talk about 'the' snowman, as if there's only one. The only snowman who has ever claimed a definite article, so far as I am aware, is 'The Snowman' out of the Raymond Briggs cartoon of the same name, who definitely arrived after the snow; built from it by the ginger boy with Aled Jones' voice. Oh, and now I think about it, I suppose Frosty 'the' Snowman. But I have no evidence he claims to 'bring the snow'. And- and this is my point Mr Wood- I don't believe you have either. So, could you please arrange to have your intensely irritating song withdrawn from all the shops that play it twice an hour throughout December until this crucial 'Which came first - the snowman or the snow?' question is satisfactorily resolved.

Thanking you in advance,

Yours sincerely,

John Finnemore.