Wednesday 29 September 2010

Obviously, I'm just jealous of Pete.

Then, I went to the Edinburgh festival, which looks like this:

...and where the local bus company was trying to exploit the frantic pace of life at the festival to promote their online ticket service.

Yep, megabusy. That's the word alright. Why, this have-it-all burn-the-candle-at-both-ends lover of life has no sooner finished attending the tattoo on Tuesday, then, pausing only to do nothing at all for a day and a half, it's time for dinner with Pete x! (That 'x' presumably either because his surname is Ximenes, or to remind her that she has to kiss him this time.) And barely has she managed to catch her breath from that then, a scant thirty-six hours later, it's time for that much anticipated kids theatre show1.30pm smiley face. Yes, when you're as megabusy as this, you pretty much have to pay for bus travel online. When else would you find the time to do it?  Wednesday?

Thursday 23 September 2010

Fairly Unique.

On my way back, I encountered the following Massive Yacht:


Of course, the big question here is, is it a deliberate joke? Because if so, it's quite amusing, but not much more. But something about the choice of III rather than II makes me hope that it it isn't. That this guy has or has had three massive yachts: the One&Only, the One&Only II, and the One&Only III. Because you've got to have a system.

Please let this be true.

Tuesday 21 September 2010

Pink elephants on parade. (Not pink)

I have been asked by someone who doesn't know what they're letting themselves in for if I have any more pictures of elephants. Oh yes. That I do. Look, here come some now. Click for bigger, and watch out for elephants masquerading as baby turtles. They're devilish cunning, these elephants.

Tuesday 14 September 2010

Your guarantee of quality.

Oh, good. You're sure, though? Because if there's one thing I hate, it's being fobbed off with products that have not come 100% from an elephant's backside. I'm sorry, but I'm a stickler. 

(Also seen the day I took that picture, something for very long-standing readers, if such people exist: a completely unimaginable number of elephants.)

Thursday 9 September 2010

Oh, and a flower on a stick.

Well, after all that excitement, who's up for an Acme Special Cocktail?

Certainly stunted mutant Elvis is; he's got himself all dressed up in his favourite baby blue romper suit, he's very carefully laced his shoes, and he's proudly displaying the tiny thumb which qualifies him for a disability discount on all cocktails composed of five or six varieties of dirty dishwater, topped off with a layer of Fairy Liquid and a mysterious blue ball. 'Special' indeed.

Sunday 5 September 2010

King of the Swingers.

Here is the sign to a museum I visited:

I find it hard to imagine anyone who could resist following that sign. Perhaps you, too, would like to encounter Raja the Tusker? Very well. 

There he is. And not looking too bad, is he, considering he died in 1989? Say what you like about Sri Lankan taxidermists, but they don't shirk a challenge. Raja, it turns out, was not only a tusker, but also a Royal Elephant - and indeed a replacement Royal Elephant has not yet been found, twenty one years later. 'And how does one become a Royal Elephant?' I hear you cry, perhaps wondering if your own elephant might be a candidate for the job. Well, apparently (though I haven't managed to find anything confirming this on the internet) the qualifications are: fully developed tusks, a certain size and height, and the ability, when standing at rest, to touch the ground with all your toes; your trunk; your tail, and one other thing. 

Good grief, Raja. Well done. 

Friday 3 September 2010

Still, it's American, apparently, so it must be good.

This is a popular brand of bottled water in Sri Lanka:

Am I wrong to find the slogan a little... intimidating? 'Just drink it! Don't think about it! Just drink it! Don't worry about what's in it! Stop asking questions! Just drink it! Just DRINK it! DRINK IT!' 

Wednesday 1 September 2010

Renowned as a LOVELY and TEA-thirsty SUPER GUY, during his reign of NICENESS he CUDDLED thousands.

Right, in the spirit of 'first day of the school year', over the next week or so I'm going to put up some things I saw over the summer but didn't have the time or internettiness to put here at the time. Starting with this, the most suspicious-looking imaginable attempt at 'correcting' a brass plaque:

'Peace Loving'. Yes. That's what he was. He certainly was one Peace Loving guy, that King Pandu. It's always said that. No, don't look under the rectangle. There's no need. It just says 'Peace Loving' again. But in, er, the wrong... font.