Well, it's here... yes, it's here...

Happy Fifth of February! Here's a little song Susannah Pearse and I wrote in honour of this deeply unspecial day...

(Yes, I know it's some peoples' birthdays. Doesn't make it any more special, I'm afraid. Every day is some peoples' birthdays.)

However, this particular Fifth of February is at least a fraction merrier than most, because today is the launch of the complete and utter definitive A to Z Cabin Pressure CD box set! Here they are, all fourteen of them:

The discs include:

- All 26 episodes (well, technically 27, but I like to think of Zurich as one two-part episode. It's just neater) in correct, alphabetical order.

- A bonus half hour in which producer David interviews me, mainly about odd little references in the show; and we introduce such things as:

- Some deleted clips and scenes, including Martin and Douglas talking about their fathers in St Petersburg, and Martin X-raying the geese at the end of Uskerty.

- The little monologues I wrote just for the audience at the very first recording, in which each character introduces themselves.

- Two specially written trailers for series 2 of the show, one featuring Stephanie, the other Benedict.

- One 'blooper'. I know you wanted more, but for some reason they generally don't really come across in audio only.  But this one does, and it's a good one...

Then there's the 32 page booklet, which includes:

- Casting and transmission details of all the episodes, obviously.

- Strange little doodles, by me, of things like oboes and green bottles and stuffed sheep and cricketers carrying a fire-truck, all around the above.

- A hand-drawn world map of all the destinations, also by me.

- An annotated diagram of the layout of Gerti; including secret location of the asbestos gloves; untampered with armrests; and the captain's seat for the captain to sit in, because he's the captain. Yep, me again.

- The official MJN Air Games Compendium - a list of all the games played by the crew through the show.

- The Rules of The Travelling Lemon.

- The Rules of Yellow Car. Well, the rule.

- The five double page spreads, one for each main character, showing their notebooks, wall charts, manuals or diaries; as published in the individual CD releases, but now in glorious technicolour, which means Arthur's jelly-babies are finally recognisable, and don't just look like weird stones.

- Eleven hidden lemons.

- A page of plot ideas which never made it into episodes, with explanations as to why not.

- A page of my notebook from the writing of Zurich.

- A double page spread of photos of the cast rehearsing and recording Zurich.

- Two high quality staples (used)


So, yes. We tried to pull out all the stops for this. Hope you like it. If you want to discover whether you like it or not, you can do so by buying it from Pozzitive, the BBC, high street book and music shops, or even big bad Amazon:




FAQ

I already have the CDs! Can I get Zurich separately, or are you trying to make me buy the whole show all over again, you gang of twisters?

Not at all. Both series 4 and Zurich are available to buy separately, like so:





What about the booklet and the bonus material? Can I get that separately?

I don't think so, no. But that's fair enough, isn't it? That's what 'bonus material' means.

Will it be released in America? Or the rest of the world?

It's definitely going to be released in America, we think in April. I don't know about the rest of the world. But you can always order it from Britain and get it shipped to you.

I am young, and have never even heard of CDs. Are they those things Victorians played on gramophones, in their zeppelins?

That's right, yes. You can of course also still get all of Cabin Pressure by download, from iTunes or wherever else you get your music.

Why are you using Amazon links? Don't you know they're the baddies?

Because they tend to have the cheapest price, and it seems unfair not to point at the cheapest price. Also, because they're the single source most likely to have it in stock. The BBC shop, for instance, is currently sold out, even though it's the day of release. But you are of course welcome to buy it from whatever shop your taste and conscience dictate.

Is this the longest blog post you've ever written?

I don't know. It's right up there, isn't it?

Don't you feel bad that it's essentially just a huge long advert?

...Well, I didn't. But now I do. There's the song, though! Don't forget it started with a song!

We'd already heard the song.

Oh, leave me alone.

Thank you for the thank yous!

Sorry if this is a rather self-indulgent post, but I really do have to thank the extraordinary and talented fans of Cabin Pressure for some of the astonishingly creative ways they've been saying thank you since the final recording.

First, this wonderful video. Never have so many people, in so many places and in so many languages, done quite so many silly things with so many lemons, hats, yellow cars and Toblerones. I absolutely love it (and the Arthur-in-a-box it came with) - thank you all so much!

Not only that, but the organisers of it have also been fund-raising for the National Literacy Trust , an excellent cause for which they have raised an amazing £2,265, and counting! Thank you so much to everyone who donated, and for the lovely comments on that site, all of which I have read.

Next, at the recording I was given a copy of this incredible book, which is a compilation of the work of some extremely talented artists and cartoonists, and their portrayals of everything from Carolyn presenting Herc with Finn McCool III, to Martin in the back of the goose truck, to the crew's favourite meals to… well, to what the crew would look like if they were all cats. It's absolutely tremendous, though I am sickened by how much better than me at drawing you all are.

Last but not least, thank you for all the individual cards and letters that have been sent to me, or given to me at the recording. They mean an awful lot, and I will reply to all the ones with return addresses eventually - sorry if it takes a while.

Maybe everyone who writes a show thinks this, but I really do feel the people who like my show are an unusually talented, generous, thoughtful and, above all, deeply silly lot. Thank you so much! You are truly… (here it comes, I've been using similes all through this post so I can save it up for the end)… Brilliant!


UPDATE: Since I first posted this, I have also been shown this wonderful song.  Thank you!

Please remain seated until the series has come to a complete stop.

 You've probably never even stopped to wonder who provides the voices for  Cabin Fever. Well, here they are in a rare moment in front of the camera: Bennet Cumberland, who plays Marvin; Alan Rogers - Duncan; Stephen Coles - Arnold; and Daisy Tyler - Gertie. Pictured here with lucky competition winner Jon Phillimore.

Well, that's it - as of last Sunday I am officially that guy who used to write Cabin Pressure. It is a very strange feeling. I will write more about it when the show is broadcast. (We still don't know when that'll be. The Christmas Eve thing is plausible, but it's only a rumour - no-one from the BBC has confirmed that to us. Personally, I hope they can make it a bit sooner, but it's their decision.)  For now, I just want to say thank you again to our marvellous audience - both those who were in the Drill Hall last Sunday (No spoilers! I'm counting on you!) and those who would have liked to have been, but weren't. You guys are great. Hope you enjoy Zurich!

(Oh, yes: it IS called Zurich. For ages and ages it was going to be called Zanzibar, just to surprise people, and I'm still a bit sorry that it's not. But the bit which justified calling it that was one of the many victims of the cuts required to get my original 14,500 word draft down to 9,000 ish words, so Zurich it is...)

Bing Bong

'Well, it's about time!'

Hello! I'm very happy to announce that we now have a recording date for the final episode of Cabin Pressure. It will be at 7pm on Sunday the 23rd February, at the RADA Studios in London.


How can I get tickets?

Tickets are free, and you will be able to enter the draw for them here when the BBC make them available - I don't know exactly when they'll do that. When they do, applications will be open for a couple of days, and then the draw for tickets will be made from all applications received; so although you do need to hit that two day or so window, you don't have to get in early within it.

Please note that although the BBC have very kindly agreed to over-book as little as they dare, they will still be over-booking a bit, so getting a ticket does not guarantee you a seat. So if you get a ticket, and you're thinking of travelling a long way in order to attend, it's probably worth getting to the venue an hour or two before the show.

Why aren't you doing it in a bigger venue, so more people can come? 

I know, I wish we could. It's partly budget (the tickets are free, remember), but it's mostly because it would change the way the audience sounds on the radio.

Will you be doing one of those secret try-outs in a pub you did for the last series?

No.

When will the show be broadcast?

I don't know - it hasn't been scheduled yet. I'll tell you, here, as soon as I know.

What happens in the end?

Heaven knows. I'm still writing it.

Are you excited?

Oh Good Lord yes.

Three things.

- Radio 4 are repeating the first series of Souvenir Programme on Thursdays at 6:30, starting today. Today's includes the Three Guards sketch, and The Man Who Makes The Noise of the Tardis.

- Cabin Pressure has been nominated for best comedy and also, pleasingly if slightly confusingly, best comedy drama at the BBC Audio Drama awards. I will find out which it is - if either - on January 26th.

- It's also time for the comedy.co.uk awards, which are voted for by the public. If you should feel like voting for either CP or JFSP, I certainly won't stand in your way.

Prepare for final descent.

…Well, I say news; but the hints I've been dropping have been pretty broad. Anyway, this is it officially: I am currently writing the next - and final - episode of Cabin Pressure. It will be a forty-five minute special, and it will be recorded early in the new year. 

Infrequently Asked Questions, But Which I Imagine May Become More Frequently Asked Now.

Why are you only doing an episode, not a series? 

Because that has always been the plan - at least since about Molokai. When I was planning series three, I decided that (BBC and cast permitting), I would write two more series, and build towards a cliff-hanger, followed by a special. I knew by then how important it is when writing an episode to have the ending in mind, and I thought the same would probably be true of a series.

Why are you ending it?

Well, it has to end somewhere, and six years and twenty six episodes feels like a pretty good score.    And this way I get to build towards an ending that I feel is satisfying, rather than it simply stopping one day… or worse, getting tired and repetitive. It's also allowed me to let the characters and their relationships change and develop over the last couple of series, knowing that I'm building in a particular direction, in a way that I couldn't have done if I'd had to keep them in sitcom limbo.

Besides, you can't fight the alphabet…

But there are a lot more letters in other languages!

I know. But be honest, which is more satisfying: A to Z or A to Ø? 

No, you be honest: it's because you can't get the cast any more, isn't it?

It really isn't. It's very difficult to get them all together, certainly, but they continue to be astonishingly generous about finding ways to make it work. No, this is all my fault.  

When did you say it would be recorded? And broadcast?

On the… Ah, you nearly got me. No, I'm afraid I don't know. I had, as many of you had guessed, been working towards another Christmas broadcast, but unfortunately that hasn't worked out. So, as early as possible in the new year, I hope; and I'll let you know here as soon as I can... 

The Travelling Lemon Goes To Europe

Why don't you get yourself a little trophy?

More good news - there is to be a second series of John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme! We don't know precisely when yet; but we do know that there will be six episodes this time round. Which means that, along with series four of Cabin Pressure, I now have twelve half hours of radio comedy to write. Gulp.

Also, the lovely people at the British Comedy Guide Awards have voted C.P. best radio sitcom of 2011, and J.F's S.P. best radio sketch-show. Thank you, them!

Shameless self-publicity. (Warning- may contain traces of shame.)

Two quick bits of news: firstly, I was on The Unbelievable Truth earlier this week, mostly lying about crocodiles. I am very proud of my triumphant final score of No Points. What a magnificent achievement! Mind you, it wasn't easy to concentrate with all the wounded, terrified quail flapping about the theatre.

Anyway, that should still be on the iPlayer for a bit; and then I did another one which will go out in three weeks' time. And in between, I'm on the News Quiz next week. So, good news for people who enjoy my half-baked opinions, or my fully baked lies about pasta. Mmmmm. Pasta bake.

The other piece of news is that Cabin Pressure has been nominated for an audio drama award for best comedy. So, that's nice.

24 Things I drew this month - Thing Twenty Four. Plus...Cabin Pressure news.

Click for paramount version

Happy New Year! From me, and from all the crew at MJN Air. Which, I am happy to be able to tell you, WILL be returning for a fourth series. We don't know when yet, but my best guess is sometime in the second half of this year. 

Thank you for reading, and for all your nice comments about my drawings this month. Normal service will now be resumed. 

And what's more, I got to meet Bernard Cribbins.

Sorry for the pause - I will be back doing this more regularly soon. In the meantime, some quick Cabin Pressure / Own Trumpet Blowing news: I'm delighted to say that last night Cabin Pressure won the Writers' Guild award for Best Radio Comedy. Hooray!

Hooray also for the terrific Sam Bain, Jesse Armstrong and Simon Blackwell, who won the TV comedy award for Peep Show; and Howard Read, who won Best Children's Programme with this piece of brilliance.

I celebrated by eating far too many tiny spicy fishcakes, and taking home ten of the golden envelopes the nominations came in, for reasons that are now obscure to me. Good times.

I've told Douglas. He's over the moon.

Stuff I'm doing, have done, will do, or have seen.

So, I haven't posted here for ages, and now I'm here it's just to plug things and show off. This is not, I realise, the way to win friends and influence people. Sorry. Still, here goes.

Firstly. The reason I haven't been here this week is that I have been filming a pilot for a TV sitcom, which, if it gets made, will be incredibly exciting, at least for me. But what a big if that 'if' is.  Also, I have fallen in love with two of the cast. This is pretty awkward, as you can imagine,  but what can I say - the heart wants what it wants.

Secondly. My sketch show is about to start on Radio Four! It's called John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme, it begins on Sunday at 19.15, and I really hope you like it. I will try to do a blog for each episode, the way I did for Cabin Pressure.

Speaking of which... thirdly, Cabin Pressure has been nominated for a Writer's Guild Award. Hooray.

And now, as a small reward for making it through all the self-promotion, here is a sign from the pub we filmed in on day two.

The five kisses / censorship of the five letter place you're not allowed to put a pet in is pretty good, but the exclamation mark before 'pet' is twisted genius. And don't tell me the author is a native Spanish speaker. It's not upside down, it's in the middle of the sentence, and there's none at the end.
Can you ?explain that XXXXX

Goose smoothies all round.

St Petersburg, the final episode of the third series of Cabin Pressure, is now available here. Spoilers for it follow.

Well, I thought it was about time I did an exciting final episode. Both the final episodes of the first two series were 'shut-in' ones; the main characters alone, passing the time, annoying each other, playing games, and with a bit of character revelation. I really like episodes like that, but this time I fancied doing a proper finale, with actual peril, both with the emergency at the beginning, and with the threat to the company. One thing I like about it is that when Douglas says he hasn't got any ideas, and can't save them, he's telling the truth. It's only when he realises Gordon's plan that he sees how to turn it to his advantage. I also like that in an actual bona fide emergency, Martin is capable of coping with it, and Douglas is capable of letting him.

God, wasn't Timothy West good? I wanted someone who could equally well do genial and disarming at first, to make the guys (and us) wonder what Carolyn and Arthur are making such a fuss about - and then suddenly drop into sheer bastardry for his big speech. Trying to describe the character to David the producer before he'd seen the script, I believe I said: 'Well, if it was a film, you'd get Timothy West'. Still can't believe we actually did! And Paul Shearer! Only about six words to say as Tommo, but got a laugh on every single one! I felt at the time it was a terrible waste of such a funny actor (though he was also St. Pete ATC), but you can't argue with a laugh-per-utterance average like that. 

Not much in the way of deleted scenes this time - or rather, there was one massive one: a four page  long conversation between Martin and Douglas in the canteen about their fathers, but losing that meant we were able to keep everything else more or less intact. I won't post that, because I might use it in the future. The only other thing I slightly regret losing is the bit where Gordon, when he still seemed nice and reasonable, conned Carolyn not only into letting him book the office where they meet in MJN's name, but into thinking he was making a concession to her in so doing. I won't put that up either, though- instead I'll put up this very small cut from Gordon's first scene.

GORDON: Just got in. Bloody hell, the crosswind, eh? Hairiest landing I’ve had for years!

MARTIN: Yeah! You should try doing it on one engine!

GORDON: Jeez, I wouldn’t want to! Did you?

MARTIN: No, I didn’t!

GORDON: Oh. Right, I was gonna say!

MARTIN:  No, I mean, I didn’t want to either. 

DOUGLAS: ...However, he absolutely did. Rather well, actually.

I wish I could find the setting for 'Jelly Babies to Automatic'...

Ottery St Mary is now available here. I have to say, I do like this episode. It might be my favourite this series, or that might be St. Petersburg; but for very different reasons. This one I like because it's silly and cheerful and fun; and for most of it, everyone gets on rather well and enjoys one another's company. You can't do that often in a sitcom, or it gets dull, but it's nice once in a while.

In the first draft, it was designed to be the counterpart to Johannesburg, in which the cast are for half the episode split Douglas and Carolyn / Martin and Arthur. And of course there are several episodes where the split is Martin and Douglas / Carolyn and Arthur; so I thought I'd try the other possible pairing. The version I wrote worked fine, but it just seemed such a shame to do a 'Martin's van' episode without Martin in the van. So I took it apart, rewrote the road trip section to include Martin, and came up with a new plot for Carolyn. Then, at the recordings, this was the other episode recorded the week Benedict was ill. However, the cast all very kindly agreed to re-do the Martin scenes at the end of the third recording - and Tom very very kindly agreed to perform Martin on stage, even though he knew it wouldn't go out. Which meant I got to hear the script performed as if for real, in front of an audience... but with two weeks to improve it with rewrites and cuts, which was an incredible luxury.  So, this has had more rewriting time than any other episode, and not coincidentally it's one of my favourites. You just cannot rewrite too much. Even now I'd like another pass at it - why on earth did I make Herc's sports car green rather than yellow? Idiot. 

Another rewriting story - the design of the Herc / Carolyn story was always that they would alternate having the upper hand in their skirmishes, and first time round this meant when it got to the sheep scene, it needed to be Carolyn with the phobia, and Herc mocking her. Which didn't work at all - Carolyn seemed out-of-character, and Herc seemed bullying and unpleasant. But when I finally realised what the problem was, and restructured it so they could swap, it worked fine. Interesting that even with a female character you've spent two and a half series establishing as strong to the point of fearsome; 'woman is scared of sheep' just fundamentally isn't as funny as 'man is scared of sheep'.

When I was first creating the show, in 2005 (!), my working title for MJN Air was 'Icarus Airways'. Once Carolyn's character became more developed, I realised reluctantly she'd never be daft enough to call it that. But I know a man who would...

For the origin of the otter-imagining game, have a look at this blog post I wrote three years ago. I like that I titled it 'I am supposed to be writing a sitcom.' Little did I know I was bunking off writing Cabin Pressure series one to write a bit of Cabin Pressure series three.

I like that, although I know 99.9% of the audience wouldn't remember, Snoopadoop's name (and Carolyn's soppiness about her) is actually mentioned in the very first episode. Snoopadoop, by the way, is named after a poodle puppy I met at the Edinburgh festival in about 2004, and so whom is probably still around. So if you're here because you got bored and googled your dog's name, hello, and thank you! 

This week's 'deleted scene' is from near the end, when they're at Ottery St Mary's (non-existant, by the way) airfield, and realise the pub is a mile away:

DOUGLAS: ...yes, yes, alright. Let’s start pushing. 

MARTIN: Thank you so much! Except of course... I can’t really push. Because of my ankle?

DOUGLAS: Alright. Arthur and I will push. You can walk alongside

MARTIN: ...I don’t think I can. Not for a mile.  Again, the ankle.

DOUGLAS Then what do you suggest?

MARTIN Well… I thought perhaps, if I were to do this…

FX INDISTINCT NOISE

DOUGLAS: Ah. I see. ‘Hello Ottery St Mary. Please welcome Douglas Richardson and Arthur Shappey, and joining them, on the piano, Martin Crieff.’

Newcastle

Just a quick-ish and late one on Newcastle (available here ), I'm afraid, because real life is still in the way a bit. 

Every series, it seems, one episode causes me more trouble and hair-tearing than any two and a half of the others combined. In series one it was Cremona - my God that plot took some wrestling to get down to twenty-eight minutes. In series two it was Kuala Lumpur, which if I'm honest I still don't think I ever got quite right. This series it was Newcastle. And it's always the same problem: way, way too much plot, resulting in a nine thousand word monster of a draft which I somehow have to boil down to about 5,600.  I didn't quite manage it with Newcastle, either, so there's a lot on the cutting room floor this week. What annoys me about it is that I realised when it was too late that actually, the problem was that there's the material for two perfectly good episodes in it - one based around flying Herc and Linda; and one based around Martin getting on the wrong side of an engineer. Apart from anything else, it's a shame to cram three such brilliant guest stars all into one episode, rather than giving them room to breathe. Oh well. I'll know better next time. (I won't.) This is all sounding very negative, isn't it - I still really like the episode. 

And then, of course, the morning before the recording, we got the call from Benedict's agent saying she was terribly sorry, but he simply had no voice left at all (you can hear he's suffering a bit in some of the other episodes). So hooray for the tremendous Tom Goodman-Hill, who I think does a terrific job of being a Martin that's not just a pale copy of Benedict's, but on the other hand doesn't feel like a jarring leap away from his. And hooray for Benedict, Roger and Stephanie for very decently agreeing to re-record Martin's scenes in the next episode, Ottery St. Mary, so that Ben-Martin could appear in five out of the six episodes. Isn't everyone great? Arthur's right: other people are brilliant. 

Speaking of Arthur, here's some more of his Monopoly game:

CAROLYN: He also once did a deal whereby he gave Martin Mayfair, so long as he was also allowed to give him the Electric Company.

ARTHUR: Well, I kept having to times things by four! That’s not fun, that’s maths! Anyway, I’m still playing!

CAROLYN: Of course you are. Indeed it’s your go.

FX: DICE THROWN

ARTHUR: Twenty-forth go in jail. Are you sure I can’t just pay fifty pounds to get out, Herc?

HERC: You wanted to be the little dog.

ARTHUR: I’m always the little dog.

HERC: And everyone knows the little dog can’t pay to get out of prison. You just have to wait till you get a Get Out Of Jail Free card.

ARTHUR: But how can I get one when I’m in jail?

HERC: Well, that’s exactly why you should never be the little dog.

Stage direction: [DING] Ding! [DING] Ding! [DING] Ding!

Paris, episode two of Cabin Pressure, is available here for the next six days.  Massive spoilers for this episode follow. Don't read on if you haven't heard the episode, and think you might want to. 

First, to give those guys time to leave, thank you so much for all the nice comments about my piece about the News of the World on The Now Show this week. I cannot think of anything I've ever written that's got quite such a reaction. Tomorrow, outrageously big-headed though it seems, I'll put a transcript of it up here, including some of the bits that didn't make the edit. 

But back in Paris, or at least on the way to Paris... did I fool you? I hope so. I love whodunnits, they are my trashy fiction of choice, especially the 'golden age' thirties and forties ones, and I've wanted to do a whodunnit episode of Cabin Pressure for ages - even before Captain Crieff took on his secret identity on BBC1. For a long time, this episode had a totally different plot and solution, and was all about Mr Alyakhin (from the Christmas special) and his party of rich yacht buyers losing some sort of priceless jewel on a trip to look at massive yachts in Palma. But the problem was, I always knew I wanted Douglas to be the culprit; and I couldn't quite believe in him actually stealing a valuable thing from a passenger, however unpleasant I made them. And then I remembered Birling Day, which meant I could also bring back Geoffrey Whitehead as a guest star, who is simply one of my favourite comedy actors. 

I decided early on there would be no mention of the S word, or indeed the H word, still less the 'E, MDW' phrase. But that didn't mean there couldn't be, maybe, a couple of sly references... Benedict was an incredibly good sport about it all, especially given the audience was full of Sherlock fans. Though he did give me quite a look at the first read-through when we got to 'Wow, Skip! You're just like Miss Marple!' 

A few people have asked me about Martin's money situation at the end - I did explain this in the script at one point, but as always I had to cut loads to fit it to 28 minutes. Anyway, yes, it's possible that Martin does not have to tell Carolyn that he lost the bet, given that Birling got the whisky in the end, and can claim his hundred pounds off her. However, personally, I think Martin's too decent; Douglas too boastful; and Arthur too incapable of lying for her not to find out the truth pretty quickly. However, Martin gets a thousand pound pearl off Birling, plus a fifty pound tip, so even if he pays up to Carolyn he comes out £950 ahead on the trip, which should buy him plenty of baked potatoes. So I think it's a happy ending for him. 

Somebody asked why Carolyn opened the bottle at the start - so that she (and we) could be absolutely certain it was the genuine whisky seconds before being put into Martin's hands. After that, only Martin and Arthur touch the bottle before it's poured. 

I'm very pleased a couple of people said they thought the guilty party was Mr Birling's wife. That's absolutely what she was there for. I hoped a lot of people trying to guess the solution would hit upon the Carolyn solution Douglas tries to sell Martin, and that others, if I introduced one other character early on, who was studiously never accused by anyone, would go for them. But really, of course, once Douglas has said he's going to steal a bottle of whisky... it always had to be Douglas. Hence this bit of dialogue which didn't make the edit:

MARTIN                          Stop doing that! I admit you have a sort of underhand sneakiness…

DOUGLAS                         A brilliant flair for strategy and subterfuge.

MARTIN                              ...at your disposal, but what I have that you don’t, and which you always underestimate, is that I am meticulous and methodical. And it seems to me that so long as I make sure there is never even a moment on the trip when I’m not watching you, or the whisky, or both; then however clever you are, I can’t see how you’ll take it. 

DOUGLAS                       Of course you can’t ‘see how I’ll take it’! I’d hardly be a criminal mastermind if you could ‘see how I’ll take it’! But I will take it. 

Happy Birling Day

Just a quick one, to say there's plenty of me on Radio Four today. Perhaps too much. New Cabin Pressure at 11:30, featuring the return of the mighty and hilarious Geoffrey Whitehead as Mr Birling; and then on the Now Show at 6:30 I get to express my important opinions about the News of the World hacking Milly Dowler's phone. Sneak preview: I'm broadly against it.

Family stuff to do today, so I'll put my 'Paris' post up tomorrow. Hope you enjoy it!

'Ours Blanc'. Or 'Ours Polaire'

Qikiqtarjuaq, the first episode in the new series of Cabin Pressure, is available here for the next seven days.  

It wasn't written as the first episode, but unfortunately Benedict Cumberbatch lost his voice for the recording of the one that was meant to be first. And brilliant though Tom Goodman-Hill was in the part, it seemed odd to begin the series without one of the usual cast, so we tinkered with the episode order. It was between this one and Paris for episode one, but I think this is a more typical 'in the plane, taking some people to a place' story, which is a useful way to begin. Also, because Martin and Douglas fall out, their relationship in this episode is more like the prickly one they had in series one, rather than the increasingly friendly one in series two, which again I like as a way of introducing new listeners to what is supposed to be funny about the sit of this com. 

Martin's polar bear lecture is one of the very few times a whole piece has just come to me quite naturally and fluently. I usually find writing very difficult indeed - every sentence has to be dragged out of me, and then endlessly rewritten.  But this time I was out walking along the canal, trying to think of ideas for the speech to write up when I got home, and instead I ended up practically dictating it into my phone, comedy French accent and all. Even when I hear it now, I can picture where along the canal I was when I said that bit. Here's an extra couple of lines from it that we had to cut in the edit to fit:

DOUGLAS:            Remind me, who was it the French were fighting in Alaska?

MARTIN:                ... Ah'm afraid zis information is still classified. 

Oh, and doing the credits in the accent was entirely Benedict's idea! I love it, especially 'D'veed Tylar'

Prepare boarding passes.

So, tomorrow at 11:30am on BBC Radio 4, and thereafter on iPlayer, it is finally time for this:

Hope you enjoy it. I'm going to try to put up a little post about each episode on the day of each episode. Let's see how well I manage to stick to that.

And the day after, Saturday July 2nd, it's time for this again:

Hope you can come. And if you do, hope you enjoy that too.  

Sadly 'Arthur's Egyptology Lecture (Dustbuster)' didn't make the cut.

Qikiqtarjuaq. In case you were wondering.

Sorry for the gap - it's been all Cabin Pressure, all the time, round here lately. Apologies also if you are one of the many people to whom I owe a letter, email, phone-call or visit. But as of yesterday, series three is now not only written but recorded, and I now find myself in a strange new world where I must learn what it is humans do when they're not writing radio sitcoms. Answer their emails and visit their parents, possibly. The first thing I did this morning, though, was dismantle the huge and oppressive wall of multi-coloured post-its with bits of plot on them which has grown up round my desk. Here are a few of them:

• - Eddie immovable.
• 
  
• - Carolyn retrieves the lemon.
• 
  
• - Arthur's phantom fire. 
• 
  
• - Otter in fridge?
• 
  
• - Martin grills Martin
• 
  
• - No toblerones!
• 
  
• - Apple juice confiscated.
• 
  
• - Hercules scared of sheep.
• 
  
• - Yellow car III
• 
  
• - Douglas chases bears. 

The odd thing is, these are all reasonable descriptions of moments in the series. You should have seen Roger Allam chasing those bears last night. Magnificent.