The Ashes? For us? Oh, you shouldn't have.

See, I told them and I told them to pick Thorpe instead of Pietersen. And would they listen to me? No.

Well done them.

I suppose that for a mouthy badger-haired ear-bejewelled arrogant South African show-boater, he was quite good at using that plank of his to keep the balls that blond guy with the white nose kept throwing at him away from that little sculpture he'd built out of sticks.