Sunday, 8 August 2010

What kind of an idiot am I?

The place I'm staying at the moment is lovely, but the food and drink is rather expensive. Knowing this, when I went to the bar after dinner just now, I ordered a pineapple juice, thinking it'd be relatively cheap. When it came, it was elaborately dressed up like a cocktail, and came with a large bowl of peanuts. Oh dear, I thought- rightly as it turned out- this isn't going to be cheap at all. I looked at the nuts. I've just had dinner, I'm full, I don't in the least want any nuts. But here they are, and the drink's going to be really expensive... I'd better eat them. I start to eat the nuts. The nuts are covered in chilli powder, which I don't like. My immediate, uncontrolled reaction is to think: 'Great! Things are going my way at last! Now I don't have to eat the nuts I don't want!'

That's the kind of idiot I am.


simon kane said...

Crikey that was close!

stu said...

I get the feeling that the character of Arthur wasn't difficult for you to write :p

John Finnemore said...

That is an excellent point, Stu- hadn't thought of that. This may well happen to Arthur in the future.

Stu said...

What, spicy nuts?

Anonymous said...

Just listened to "Ipswich" with Alex MacQueen apparently reprising "Joshua Ffanshawe-Marshall" from Hut 33. Was that deliberate or is that just the way he does comedy?

John Finnemore said...

Ah, you see for me he will always be Julius Nicholson from The Thick of It. So, no, not deliberate, but it's true he does often get cast in similar roles. Good, though, wasn't he?

Anonymous said...

"Cabin Pressure: Steward Quits Via Exit Chute" - Sky News Headline about the recent fracas at Kennedy Airport. Looks like a fan works at Sky.

Piques said...

That's not idiotic. That's optimistic. A few years back I was driving through a conifer forest in mid-Wales. They were such tall straight trees. After thinking it though - I mean real thought processes in action - I say to my husband: "Someone should do something with all these trees. They would be perfect for furniture."

That is idiocy.

Richard O. Smith said...

Recently saw Helen Baxendale at a charity film gala for her indie movie Beyond the Pole.

Opened with “wow, it’s that actress from Cabin Pressure”. She laughed (thankfully!).

Claire said...

This story reminds me of the time my sister and I went to New York .We had never been and we were only going to be there for three days so we wanted to make the most of our time.On day one we got up early put on the walking boots and took off.We must have walked for 5 hours without a break and decided the time had come for a rest.We didn't really know where we were and being jet lagged felt like it was evening.So dying for a drink and running out of energy we went into the first bar we saw. Inside it looked very posh,but then so did everything we saw that day.The barman was entertaining some ladies with chat about a dog show .A friendly place we thought.We were right , a very friendly place,and it would want to be given that they charged $50 for two malibu and cokes.Embarrassed ,shocked and sensible we left after one.That night after looking at the napkins I swiped from the bar I noticed that we had been in The St Regis. One of the poshest places in the world

Kate Geisen said...

Lol. In a similar vein, I spent the last 5 miles of a race trying to forget how badly my knee hurt (because I am, um...running impaired and fell twice). When all of a sudden my feet started really hurting, I actually thought, Awesome! Now I have something to think about besides my knee!

You aren't alone.

Rachel said...

You're effing adorable, Mister Finnemore.

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