Friday, 1 July 2011

'Ours Blanc'. Or 'Ours Polaire'

Qikiqtarjuaq, the first episode in the new series of Cabin Pressure, is available here for the next seven days.  

It wasn't written as the first episode, but unfortunately Benedict Cumberbatch lost his voice for the recording of the one that was meant to be first. And brilliant though Tom Goodman-Hill was in the part, it seemed odd to begin the series without one of the usual cast, so we tinkered with the episode order. It was between this one and Paris for episode one, but I think this is a more typical 'in the plane, taking some people to a place' story, which is a useful way to begin. Also, because Martin and Douglas fall out, their relationship in this episode is more like the prickly one they had in series one, rather than the increasingly friendly one in series two, which again I like as a way of introducing new listeners to what is supposed to be funny about the sit of this com. 

Martin's polar bear lecture is one of the very few times a whole piece has just come to me quite naturally and fluently. I usually find writing very difficult indeed - every sentence has to be dragged out of me, and then endlessly rewritten.  But this time I was out walking along the canal, trying to think of ideas for the speech to write up when I got home, and instead I ended up practically dictating it into my phone, comedy French accent and all. Even when I hear it now, I can picture where along the canal I was when I said that bit. Here's an extra couple of lines from it that we had to cut in the edit to fit:

DOUGLAS:            Remind me, who was it the French were fighting in Alaska?

MARTIN:                ... Ah'm afraid zis information is still classified. 

Oh, and doing the credits in the accent was entirely Benedict's idea! I love it, especially 'D'veed Tylar'


Lunacy said...

In a word: brilliant! I'm still wiping tears of mirth and joy from my eyes.

(And it's perfect for Canada day - greetings from Ottawa!)

Lizzie said...

I loved the 'friendly ghost' stuff Martin says in the new episode.
I'm an aspiring writer (I'm doing my PhD in dramatic writing now) and your writing is an inspiration! ^^

Lizzie said...

I just looked at the picture of your notes. WOW, THAT'S ORGANISED! Mine are all plodding plot-points and illegibale scribble. :)

2fishinatank said...

Loved it! Excellent stuff! Will now be running round the place going "DAK-A-DAK-A-DAK-A!" at anything that moves!

For your trouble here's a cute little pic of some polar bears -

(Which everyone can look at no matter which country their in :P)

Meg said...

I just had to say how much I have loved the two series before this and look forward to listening to this series as well!

Fruitbat said...

I love the sneaky peek at your notebook. So frightfully organised!
Though I find myself very intrigued by the notion of some kind of bacon/iron interface going on in the corner there...

simon kane said...

But hey, today's Canada day! So the order of recording changed the order of the show? Did I get that right? I'm confused. But I hooted and beamed. See you tomorrow! (Are there Hitchcock cameo in all your scripts then?)

an_ordinary_person said...

This is wonderful (very much like the episode). Love the "Masterplan" pic. More please!


simon kane said...

Oh wait I see, Tom Goodman-Hill's actually in the finished thing! Sorry, only that read like a joke.

Anonymous said...

Fascinated to see your manuscript. Thanks for sharing it.

Robyn Hickman said...

Awww, poor Martin :'( So funny, well done! Brilliant notes, very funny. Loved it.

Kelli Dee said...

It was wonderful! I'm so thrilled you're back! But, as a Yank, I have to say that I personally do not know a single American who pronounces genuine as "jen-u-wine".

Ross Bennett said...

Transmission time came at 5:30 a.m. here in Texas. Is it worth mentioning that you've probably had more hot dinners than I've seen 5:30s a.m. Even so, anticipation kept me awake all night. Also anxiety as I wasn't sure the recorder would kick in properly. (It did.)

Completely worth missing sleep for. Our compliments and congratulations, good sir!

The notebook glimpse is fascinating. Please let us see it again someday?

Ross Bennett said...

PS. I am, however, somewhat dubious about the drinking game you've constructed where we all take a drink whenever Caroline finds a lemon.

Caroline said...

I'm so grateful I'm able to listen to Cabin Pressure in Poland! I have to admit, I found it because of Mr Cumberbatch, but I fell in love with it because it's so BRILLIANT! ;) Thank you so much for creating this wonderful show.

SamWow said...

You, kind sir, are hilarious and brilliant. No pun intended. :-)

I love this sit com. I love your writing. I love this cast. I hope and pray you keep going with the series.

It's so hard to find just plain good comedy these days. Most of what passes for "sit coms" are raunchy and bawdy. (I typed ranchy first. Not many sit coms are set on a ranch.)

Well done! Can't wait till next Friday!

Anonymous said...

Dear John

In your honour this evening we had Baked Alaska ice cream (contains white chocolate polar bears) with lemon sauce.

It seemed appropriate!


Ross Bennett said...

SamWow: Not many sitcoms set on a ranch? That almost sounds like a challenge.

PS. Are we sure Ambridge Extra doesn't count?

Anonymous said...

I was alone at home laughing my head off at Martin's hilarious French accent. Oh, the poor man! (And oh, my linguistic ears...!) I'm sure the neighbours thought I had gone completely mad.

Loved the peek into your notebook. Very inspiring!

Rebecca said...

In a word--brilliant! I'm so glad I can listen to CP on the other side of the channel. As it happens, I just bought a lemon today. Hmmm... :)

Loved the pic of the master plan.

Yui said...

Awesome episode. I missed Cabin Pressure so much! You're brilliant!

Sabina said...

Note to self: Never ever listen to Cabin Pressure in the midst of a busy university library...

Never had quite so many strange looks because of my bursting out into laughter every 2 seconds! =s

Ahh but it was definitely worth it!! Hilarious and the most wonderful break from horrible revision! =(

Thank you ever so much!! Only wish there was more than 6 episodes =(

Oh and it was lovely to have a peek at your notebook with the masterplan!!

Kaitebon said...

Thanks for posting that notebook page. It was fascinating.

Nice Hitchcock, by the way.

sam80853 said...

Absolutely hilarious! I can hardly wait for more.

Poor Benedict, though; it sounded painful:(

Pauline said...

Did you have to cut some bits out about Martin's salary (briefly mentioned in your notebook) or is that in another episode?
I was at the recording and still remember the look on your face when Benedict asked to re-record the credits and then did the French accent!

Anonymous said...

Dear utterly brilliant and genius Mr Finnemore,

I cannot thank you enough for Cabin Pressure. It has brightened my dark days and pissed off annoying room-mates of mine, because I was laughing so hard.

Especially Benedict's character is dear to me (just want to take him home and feed the poor lad three meals a day for the rest of his life). I do hope Benedict feels better now.

Please do keep up the brilliant work!

@aka_vee said...

Screamingly funny episode. Your mental calisthenics are much appreciated when they bring such results. Lemons will henceforth be hilarious. Not that they weren't before, but you've added a layer of meaning.

Also, apropos of nothing, your handwriting is lovely.

Musical Lottie said...

Ooh, seeing the Qikiqtarjuaq (no I didn't have to look to see how to spell it) masterplan was fascinating. From it I recall a recorded couple of conversations that didn't make the broadcast version, which (the recollection, not the cut) makes me very happy. It would be wonderful to see the masterplans for the other episodes as they are broadcast ... please?

I cannot WAIT for next week's episode!

A.W. said...

Brilliant episode! And poor Martin! (And poor Benedict Cumberbatch whose voice didn't sound so good in this episode).

Speaking as an exchange student, I can't tell whether or not binge-listening to Cabin Pressure before a transatlantic flight is a good idea or a bad idea. Right now I'm banking on it being a good idea: it's absolutely hilarious!

And Qikiqtarjuaq - I think I just won my next scrabble game.

Jessica said...

I loved this episode! Your writing is so smart and funny. And it is so fascinating to see your notes -- I didn't realize that you had the central motivation for each character so clearly in mind when you wrote, but of course you must, which is why the episodes hold together so well.

Also I had to restrain myself from telling my co-workers random (completely fabricated) bear facts all day today. Thanks. :P

Pic Akai said...

Just dropping in to say how much I love this series. I regularly use it to put myself to sleep (don't look like that; I can only do it with things I already know back-to-front so I focus on them because I enjoy them and it shuts my brain up from thinking enough to let me drop off, but I don't have to focus so hard I keep myself awake because I already know what's coming) and no matter how many times I've heard any episode, there are still things which make me laugh out loud. I have Douglas's, "I think we're flying into a mountain," speech as my message tone on my phone for this reason.

Anyway, as far as Qikiqtarjuag goes - brilliant! My eyes were streaming with laughter by the time we got to Douglas's dive bombing the bears and Martin's helpless screaming protests. And my heart broke for poor dear Martin and his ghost in the attic self.

You, sir, are a genius. More importantly however, you are hilarious. Long may these qualities continue! (And the look into your writing process is fascinating. I like knowing I'm not the only one whose notes look entirely haphazard but clearly make sense if you understand them.)

Florence Chan said...

I love this episode esp. the French accent idea. This nearly killed me. Can't wait to hear next episode of "Miss Marple".

Anonymous said...

It was just brilliant!

Though the piece about Martin's poor life with baked potato as a treat (though I do love baked potato!) pronounced in that harsh voice was really tragic.

But in a word - BRILLIANT!
Thank you so much! When my daughter learns English a bit more, she'll be listening to it as a wonderful example of English!

Anonymous said...



Anonymous said...

One would think that the full cup of happiness would be brimming over, in the mere event of learning to pronounce "Qikiqtarjuaq" during breakfast (Pacific Time), but it was followed, impossibly, by that long-anticipated moment (it seems tortuous ages ago since you first mentioned it) when Douglas Chases Bears. Could anything possibly top that for utter delight? If anything, it would have to be the glance behind the scenes (and into the very notebook!) that followed.

Thanks immensely for the work you put into a thoroughly delightful, and very, very funny, show.


Mandy said...

Yay - iPlayer works in Australia!!

Loved the French accent (poor Martin), the polar bears and of course, the lemon...


Love this show!

Jon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jon said...

This was the first time I have listened to this sitcom, and I am pleased to say that i enjoyed it very much. I loved it when Martin had to speak with the French accent and i also enjoyed the lemon game.

Kitteh said...

YOU ARE MY WRITING GOD. Let us see more of your notebook (brain)
Love what you're doing with Martin lately - your characters have just brilliant depth, and, and... Yes, I could ramble for years.
Onwards! Please start writing more. I do not wish to die of withdrawal.

Hope said...

Absolutely adored the episode! Here's a picture of a T-shirt I made inspired by one of my favourite parts:

Viala said...

Seriously I think Cabin Pressure has made me happier than anything else during a very stressful time. Thank you sir!

Ross Bennett said...

Someone has been having some fun with the Wikipedia entry for Qikiqtarjuac. From the section, "Services":

Qikiqtarjuaq is a popular stop for pilots who fly smaller aircraft to and from Europe, such as the small charter airline, MJN Air. Since the airdot's recent flight from Toronto to Qikiqtarjuaq, there has been a sharp decline in the population of polar bears in the area. Many people, such as Beaten Track Expedition Supervisor, Nancy Dean Leibhart, and airline captain Martain du Creff, believe this could be due to MJN's First Officer Douglas Richardson's slightly over-zealous strafing of the polar bears, leading to serious casualties for bears Paddington, Winnie and Baloo. Qikiqtarjuaq is considerably closer to Sondre Stromfjord, Greenland than Iqaluit (CYFB). Instrument approach minima at CYVM is relatively high (2,000 feet barometric, 1,982 AGL) due to high terrain surrounding the airport.

Anonymous said...

cabin pressure is brilliant!!

Anonymous said...

Brilliant, reminded me of many a terrible guided tour. There was a surprising degree of pathos in Martin's account of his penurious existence though - poor Martin, we should start a collection for him!

Anonymous said...

All the way through kept thinking that this was happening at the same time as the Royal Wedding!Finally all was revealed about the Travelling Lemon, French accents and chasing those bears!

Will have to listen again and again to hear the bits I missed through laughing too loudly.

Also loved the way you sneaked in Cook and Peary in.


Lucy H said...

you left in the whole pay choice thing |:
and your handwriting is awesome :D

Mike Reyes said...

Wow...just wow. That was probably the funniest episode yet, and it's only the beginning of series 3. Well done, sir; and welcome back! It's been a dreary hiatus without the crew of MJN Air. (And I've started to memorize the older ones from listening to them over and over at work.)

Tony said...

Been looking forward to the new series so much and hoping I wouldn't be disappointed.I needn't have worried and when Martin started speaking in a French accent I laughed so much my wife came into the room to see if I was alright. As Arthur would say“Brilliant”

Tony said...

Brilliant episode. Already listened to it 3 times on iplayer and still laugh out loud when Martin says 'allo in a French accent.His hoarse voice adds to the air of resignation at the situation Doulas has landed him in.Roll on next friday.

Carrie said...

Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. Also - I have to say I love the way you work in character development without bogging down the tone of the episode. Can't wait to hear the rest. Well done!

French Listenner.. said...

Merci beaucoup !!!
for this 26 minutes of laughing !!!
you make me smile for the rest of the day !!!!I couldn't see a polar bear now without thinking of you !!

Benedict's french accent ?? a French citizen ??
Mmmm... brilliant!? It is soooo the word!!!

Bonne journée !!! Laurence

John Finnemore said...

Thank you all so much for your comments and encouragement. It's really lovely to hear. Rather than individual answers, here are some general ones.

To people who think I / Douglas was a bit hard on Martin this week: Mm, yes, I know. The truth is, I wrote (and we recorded) a second scene between Carolyn and Martin which significantly softened his story line, but we had to cut it in the edit, just because the episode was overlong. I won't tell you what it was, though there are cryptic allusions to it in the notebook picture, because I may revisit it in a future episode. As for Douglas - you have to remember he has a surprisingly thin skin. He did warn Martin to 'think very carefully how you want to finish that sentence'... but Martin ignored him, and so has to pay the price. They get on better in some of the other episodes.

To people who say my notebook is freakishly neat: Yes, but that's because this diagram, the so-called 'masterplan' (ha!), is the very last thing I do before finally beginning the dialogue (or at least, putting it together). You should see some of the 'idea-generating' or 'plot-fixing' pages. Not neat at all. Oh no.

To the person who spotted the iron/bacon thing- well done, but shh. I'm definitely using that in another episode. Should've spoiler tagged it.

To the person who spotted the Cook and Peary thing- well done. In the script, the lady to whom Arthur tells the bear fact at the end is Ms Amundsen.

To all the people who said they enjoyed it - thank you so much! Hope you like the rest too!

Melanie said...

1) The episode is wonderful, and I scared my cats with my howling. But more importantly--

2) Your journal notes. Dear sweet mother of Cthulhu, the way you organized everything -- and your handwriting is legible. To paraphrase a scene from THE 40-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, "Dude...TEACH me."

Javiia Evelyn said...

You may enjoy this. A link to Arthur's website.

My, wasn't the turn around quick!

Ross Bennett said...

Forgive me for a little shop talk, please. In your notebook there's a section a lot of people might overlook: The red bits where everyone's desires/needs/goals are stated.

I am thinking back over the past episodes and it strikes me that Martin, Caroline, and Douglas all kind of fight a holding pattern in life. Some days they win, sometimes they lose.

I know you get asked a lot about Arthur's world view. (I'm thinking particularly about a discussion you had on the "Rum Doings" podcast.) Yes, Arthur is the Bear of Very Little Brain in many ways, or the Happy Pig more than the Unhappy Socrates.

So now I think of these four characters in terms of their goals and needs, it occurs to me that Arthur more than anyone else probably has the best success at getting what he wants, needs, or desires out of life. Would you say that's your impression as well?

Conjecture: Maybe the reason we still like Arthur so much is because his desires are free of being at the expense of others?

Douglas, Martin, and Caroline are always playing zero-sum games. Caroline has explicitly stated on occasion that nothing makes her life more enjoyable than seeing Douglas in a pickle of his own making.

Arthur wouldn't even understand the idea of winning at the expense of others. His perfect end-game is where everybody wins.

I keep coming back to the idea that there's a lot of "Tao of Pooh" in Arthur's world view. Whether that's true or not, the real world could do with a lot more Arthurs in it.

Anonymous said...

I'm so smitten by your wonderful brain. Take a good care of it, please.

Anonymous said...

Thank you thank you thank you!!! And yes, a brilliant fit for Canada Day (much more fun than braving the crowds here in downtown Ottawa).

However, as a former Manitoban, I suspect it would have been easier for the crew to spot polar bears if they had simply gone to Churchill and done a fly-by of the local dump... but that wouldn't have been the Unbeaten Track, would it...? ;)

Any time the crew needs someone to translate Martin's outraaageous French accent let me know!!

Unknown said...

This had me in tears from start to finish. SUCH a funny episode. Martin kind of broke my heart a little (you can come live with me! I've got food that's not just pasta and potatoes!). I can't wait for the next ep. My younger brother loves this show. He gets strange looks from people while he is cracking up with his headphones on at work. :)

Anonymous said...

John ... you are a genius!!

John Finnemore said...

Ross- Good point. Yes, I think Arthur certainly is the most consistently successful, because his aims are generally so modest. Often, all I put for him is something like 'Arthur wants to enjoy the flight' or 'Arthur wants to help Martin'. However, it does mean that when, once in a while, when I give him a very strong, though often simple aim, it can be quite powerful: I'm thinking of 'Arthur wants Carolyn to have a cake' in Helsinki, or, even more so, an episode in this series that has yet to broadcast. You'll know it when you hear it.

Meanwhile, Martin's motivation works best when it's complex, or when he has two pulling in opposite directions. They also tend to be quite large and abstract: as here, to prove he's a professional; or in Douz, to prove he's in control. Douglas, in contrast, works best when he wants something very specific and concrete - a nice hotel room, a bottle of wine. Carolyn's is often the one Nancy has in this episode, which is why it was nice to give it to a guest character for once and let Carolyn mess around a bit. See also Johannesburg.

Kaitebon said...

I love reading and hearing you analyze your writing, Mr. Finnemore. I had been telling my friends to listen to Cabin Pressure because is not only hilariously funny, but also very well crafted. I've gone on and on about Johannesburg and Limerick in particular, and the overall trajectory of the show. Anyway, I was starting to wonder if I wasn't seeing stuff that wasn't there (like a good little English major), and then your recent posts have convinced me that it's really there because you put it there.

There are a few times throughout the series when Douglas says something pompous but incorrect (Callista coming from Latin, for example), and now I'm wondering if what I immediately assumed was a mistake is actually characterization? That might be going a bit overboard, but I'm really really curious now.

Anyway, thank you so much for taking the time to post about your writing process. I can't wait for NEXT Friday.

Anonymous said...

A Lockheed McDonnell 312? That's quite a rare plane for MJN to own! Why didn't you base it on a real plane? Would have made more sense really :)

Anonymous said...

I totally agree! I'm also very curious why you didn't base it on a real 16 seater twin-jet, disappointed all the pilots within the audience!

Ross Bennett said...

No no...I have to disagree. The Loughead MacDonal 312 was the PERFECT choice for a hundred reasons.

Steve R said...

I missed episodes 1 and 2!!!! I feel terrible, I've been singing the praises of this programme ever since I heard episode 1, series one and noticed the accuracy of the aviation references. Please, if you know where I can catch up, let me know. stephen.rodgers AT

blyve said...

This episode was such a perfest start, I loved it! Heard it a dozen times now, its hilarious. The Hitchcock thing, Douglas' flying over the polar bears...and the french accent...I laughed so hard!

It's just great and inspiring what you're doing. Really nice to see your notes, so well organized!
Can't wait for the next episode (tomorrow, yes!) and all the more to come (plenty, hopefully)!

blyve said...

This episode was such a perfest start, I loved it! Heard it a dozen times now, its hilarious. The Hitchcock thing, Douglas' flying over the polar bears...and the french accent...I laughed so hard!

It's just great and inspiring what you're doing. Really nice to see your notes, so well organized!
Can't wait for the next episode (tomorrow, yes!) and all the more to come (plenty, hopefully)!

John Finnemore said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
John Finnemore said...

Anons - I couldn't name a real plane firstly because after all the horrible things I've said about Gerti I'd probably get sued; but also because no real plane does all the things I've said Gerti does. But making her a Lockheed-McDonnell was a joke very much aimed at the pilots in the audience, so I hope it didn't disappoint them all. If you haven't got it, think about precisely why it's impossible...

Anonymous said...

And there was me thinking it had something to do with "Lockheed MARTIN" and "McDonnell DOUGLAS"

Anonymous said...

A very brilliant episode !!
Too bad I have to wait for a long long time before listening your wonderful radio programm (so sorry I'm late).
Keep having brilliant ideas !

(a fan from the french part of Belgium)

Picturetalk321 said...

John Finnemore, you are BRILLIANT!

Picturetalk321 said...

John Finnemore, you are BRILLIANT!

I laughed so hard during the 'bear polar' sequence I had tears springing from my eyes.

Tata said...

I am aware that this is a very late comment, but I need to make my point known. I am here to complain about the terrible effects your work can have on people. I- inspired by your so-called innocent idea- brought a lemon with me to class, and after playing a seven-rally match, left it on my desk. You are responsible for what is now dubbed as a lemon-fight in which one person got hit in the face, and a close friend of mine getting a permanent record slip for misbehavior on the grounds of- I quote word for word- "Throwing a lemon in class. Extremely dangerous." You should be ashamed of yourself and the terrible consequences of your ideas.

Seriously, Mr. Finnemore, you're a massive inspiration. Please keep writing such amazing things and inspiring similar...antics with your genius!


Anonymous said...

Had a funny moment with my 5 years old son. I immediately thought of Arthur...

I was admiring a beautiful white cat, cute and fluffy and stunningly white.

I made the mistake of expressing my wish to have a cat like it.

My little boy said: "Mom this cat lives in cold places, she will suffer in Greece..." at my "what????" he clarified for his stupid mom "It's obvious! It is white, it is a polar cat..."

sam said...

This comment is a lot late as I am a new fan of your show. The clip of Martin speaking in that awful French was my very first taste of CP and I busted a lung keeping the laughter in.( I was actually in one of the many Benedict fansites and they posted the clip) I was in the library unwinding from doing a research when CP happened upon me. After that I downloaded everything and now Im onto my 5th episode of the second season. I'm now used to getting glares and suspicious looks from people when CP is on full blast in my earphones as I walk down the streets or in some mode of public transportation.

I think I pee a little giggling everytime Douglas opens his mouth, the guy always gets the best lines!!

Brit humor I conclude is not so bad haha. I'm pacing myself of listening to minimize the feeling of dying while waiting for season 4 to come out next year.

By the way I'm from the South Eastern part of the world-- just to let you know how far your show's popularity has reached. trust me to spread the love!

I bow before the greatness that is you and the rest of your crew. While my love for Benedict knows no bound, I have fallen in love with your show and the rest of you. Please keep the punchlines coming!!

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Anonymous said...

I finished watching the series and only then found your blog while looking to see if there would be anything following Yverdon-les-Baines. Now I'm rewatching seasons 3 and 4 to read the blog posts after them!

I just want to say I would pay good money for that notebook you've posted above. You should publish it as a Writer's Commentary book- or at least auction it for charity!

Vanee said...

It's my favourite episode!
I laughed so much, that other passengers and flight attendants were looking at me with worry :)I was flying to Stockholm (as a passenger) :)
Mr. Finnemore, you are doing excellent job!

Greetings from Poland.

Anonymous said...

BREAKING NEWS: Polar Bears are NOT Brilliant: They eat dolphins:

I always knew there was a reason I was suspicious of Polar Bears. . . .

--Aunt Raven

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