Friday, 9 March 2018

John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme - Complete Sketch List

Ok, first of all, here are the ticket links for my tour again, just to keep them at the top of this site. There are still tickets left for all dates at the moment, though not all that many for some.

17th May - Brighton - Brighton Dome
18th May - High Wycombe - Wycombe Swan
20th May - Hastings - White Rock Theatre
21st May - Preston - Guild Hall 
22nd May - York - Grand Opera House
26th May - Cheltenham - Cheltenham Town Hall
30th May - Birmingham - New Alexandra Theatre
3rd June - Richmond - Richmond Theatre
6th June - Swindon - Wyvern Theatre
7th June - Leamington Spa - Royal Spa Centre
8th June - Tunbridge Wells - Assembly Hall Theatre
10th June - Dorking - Dorking Halls
13th June - Basingstoke - Basingstoke Anvil
15th June - Edinburgh - The Queen's Hall

Thank you very much to everyone who's suggested sketches they'd like to see on stage - it's really useful.  But I realised if a sketch got a few nominations, I couldn't tell whether it was genuinely popular, or whether it was just that the first mention reminded other people it existed. So... in an attempt to create a level playing field, here's something I've been meaning to do for a while anyway: a big old list of every sketch in all seven series of Souvenir Programme.

These aren't always the original titles - I've tried to make them recognisable, and where they still aren't, I've put a key word or phrase in brackets. Do carry on leaving nominations in the comments!


Episode One

Mr Frint - No Job Too Big
Three Guards (Tiger with a gun)
Interview Sketch - Before You're Thirty (Be kind, have fun)
To Re-record Your Message
Pooh's Indebevention
I Speak As I Find
The Noise of the Tardis
Jamaica Quickie
Since You Ask Me - Ghost Story (Jacket pocket jacket pocket)

Episode Two

Three Little Pigs
Cat-Nav I
The Interview Sketch - Evolutionist (Hummingbirds)
Cat-Nav II
Song - Ballad 404 ('Where have they gone...')
The Archers Accidentally I ('...if it turns out I own this pub')
Hunger Quickie
Cat-Nav III
Since You Ask Me - Family Curse (Wim-Bim-King-Sim-Sham)

Episode Three

After the Exam (Sealion in a little hat)
Snow Leopards I
Little Trophy
Drunken Sailor Court Martial
Snow Leopards II
National Debate
Jekyll and Hyde
I Thought So (Over-analytical)
Snow Leopards III
Since You Ask Me - Murder Mystery (Turbot Bacardi)

Episode Four

The Seance
Song - Zoo Song I - Meerkats
Old Spies (Thompson Pulse)
Pampering (Pat me dry with a little baby duckling)
Song - Zoo Song II - Penguins
The Emperor's New Clothes
Song - Zoo Song III - Gnus
Since You Ask Me - Treasure Island (Polly wants a bison)

Episode Five (Edinburgh Special)

The Silent Majority I - Speed Cameras, Language
The Quest
The Grasshopper and the Ants
The Interview Sketch - Athlete (Fastest tricyclist in the world)
Architect Briefing
Civil War (Cat people and dog people)
Cheer Up
Since You Ask Me - Edinburgh (Thumb-snatchers)


Episode One

Not Violent
Audioguide for 5-Year-Olds 1
Sun and Moon
Good News Quickie
Wisdom of Solomon
Audioguide II
Stoppable- The Tram Story
Ugly Duck
The Negotiation ('...I thought we paid you?')
Your Decision (Patrick or Trevor)
Audioguide III
Since You Ask Me - Train Adventure ('You are Uncles by trade?')

Episode Two

Call Us Now I - Cold
The Archers Accidentally II ('One of the men who aways sound tired')
Romantic Gestures
Call Us Now II - Bored at work
New Supervisor
Song - My Dog Doesn't Know He's Ugly
Difficult Second Theorem
Mr. Frint - Your New Cinema
The Interview Sketch - Actor (Bumper-Offer)
Call Us Now III - Movies
Since You Ask Me - Christmas (Rufus the magic lion)

Episode Three

Lisa and K
Gone Funny On Me - Churchill
Don't Shoot the Messenger ('We've got out of sync')
Nobody Knows I
Vulture Interview
Gone Funny On Me - Kennedy
Making Money
Nobody Knows II
Criss Cross
Gone Funny On Me - Juliet
Since You Ask Me - Ghost Story (Eagling)

Episode Four

Blind Horse ('I can't tell you your job is safe')
Interesting Theory - Macbeth
Sitcom Character I - Standing Right Behind Me
Security Code
Queen's Knight
Song - Insomnia
Sitcom Character II - Donkey Rides
Interesting Theory - Maths
The Goldfish and King Neptune
Since You Ask Me - Walpurgisnacht
Sitcom Character Coda

Episode Five

Supermongers I
Mr. Frint - Awesome
Famous Five Reunion
Supermongers II
Prawn Casserole (Elbow room)
Elephantine Castle
I Don't Take No For An Answer
Supermongers III
Southend Pier
Since You Ask Me - Fisherman's Cottage

Episode Six

Silent Majority - Language
Spoilers I
Herod's Strategy
Spoilers II
New Police Powers
Silent Majority - Recycling
Pair Up ('Find someone of the opposite height')
Spoilers III
Silent Majority - Immigration
Song - Captain Dinosaur
Since You Ask Me - Credits


Episode One

Campaign For Real Pub Chat
Sponsored Holiday
Caller ID
Towels ('Towels on the bed mean Sleepy Towels')
Mr Frint - Iconic
Hearing Test ('Don't press the button')
Two Man Show
Song - Spiny Porcupine
Help Quickie
Mr Frint - Vibrant
Rat Sanctuary
Will The Train Manager Contact The Driver
Mr Frint - Literally
Afternoon Drama - Lucy's Complex Dilemma

Episode Two

Be Sure Your Sins Will Find You Out
New Friend (Sniffer dog)
The Gilgamesh Experiment I (F. Ronald Huggerman)
A History of Choice
House Sitter
The Gilgamesh Experiment II
Flow Chart
The Interview Sketch - Ice Cream Van Painter
Voice In My Head - Grande
The Gilgamesh Experiment III
Since You Ask Me - Typhoon

Episode Three

Painting The Sun
RNLI Interview
Inner Toddler - Squash
Song - Carmela Vitale
Attention Citizens
Roman Baths
Saul's New Name
Normal Man
What's What (Pandas have rejoined the bears)
Inner Toddler - My Cup
Unspoiled (Korea)
Family Reunion ('Great-great-great-great-great-grandfather!')

Episode Four

Goats and Daffodils
Archers Accidentally III ('The rhythmic thumping of the wooden objects')
Fairy Shop I
Entering Troy
Interview Sketch - Art Historian ('Too many tentacles on the giant squid?')
Dealing With Bullies
Sheriff of Nottingham
Fairy Shop II
Life Class (Too rude)
No Further Questions

Episode Five

Horse Box
Anecdotes - Rubinstein
The Bagsie Tribunal
Comedian Interview
Anecdotes - Churchill
Your Belongings
3D Printer
Anecdotes - Parker
Gunpowder Plot
Anecdotes - Wilde
Since You Ask Me - Noir (Alabaster Tortoise)

Episode Six

Stamp Collector
Niceness Tourette's
The Interview Sketch - Accountant Creatif
Basking Sharks I
Heaven's Gate (No chocolate in heaven)
Expert Witness
Basking Sharks II
Go East
Matter of Taste (Olives and bananas)
Song - Red Trousers


Episode One

Teaching Aid
Bodyguards I
Live to Tell the Tale ('Threw me back')
World Championships of Snap
Bodyguards II
Song - Three Monkeys
Pound Shop
Bodyguards III
Since You Ask Me - Duel

Episode Two

Turning Round a Tanker
Positive Racist
Apology to Belgium
Hotel Check-In (Not a problem)
Watch Advert
Three Legged Dog
Since You Ask Me - Mysterious Trapdoor
Song - Anthem Pour Les Belges
Apology to Belgium II

Episode Three

Wedding Invite
Negotiating With Genghis I
Sun Gods
Poetry Please
Negotiating With Genghis II
What Did You Think? (Film review)
'Serious' Quickie
Very Special Chair
Negotiating With Genghis III
Since You Ask Me - Tortoise Ranch

Episode Four

Ding Ding Good Morning Sir I
Assembly Speech
Ding Ding Good Morning Sir II
Interview Sketch - MP
Ding Ding Good Morning Sir III
Song - My Baby Don't Care
Thomas' New Driver
Ding Ding Good Morning Sir IV
Since You Ask Me - Love Story

Episode Five

Store Detective I (Casterbridge and Snowman)
Action Stations
The Artefact (Museum of human folly)
Store Detective II
Tombstone Engraver
Store Detective III
Camouflage Seminar
Store Detective IV
Russian Revolution by Email
Since You Ask Me - Quickie

Episode Six

Sooty's a Bear
Whale Translator
Farenheit and Celsius
Little Green Men
Song - The Fifth of February
Does Anyone Want Anything?
Tesco Metro
Since You Ask Me - Twisted Science (Dr Kroopenstein)


Episode One

The Capital of Spain
School Slogan
Magic Mirror
Ban Cancer
Song - Even Bluesmen Get the Pinks
PhD Proposal Quickie
Mulligan's Bank
Richard of York
Since You Ask Me - Crossing the Atlantic (Mr. Floofywhiskers)

Episode Two

She Sells Sea Shells
Voice in My Head - Tip Jar
News Coverage
Painting Advice
Chocolate Geek
Heroes of the Titanic
Pavlov's Dogs
Wrong Friend
Since You Ask Me - Spies (A mole in the Zoo)

Episode Three

Dog That Looks Most Like Its Owner
A Friend in Need
Interview Sketch - Politician ('Sorriness is being experienced')
Song - Procrastination
Retirement Do (Barbed wire story)
Overrated Moon
Hunter Gatherers
Since You Ask Me - Limericks

Episode Four

Word to the Wise ('His penny whistle is not worth fourpence')
Talking to Strangers I - Tall
Sports Day (Sodom and Gomorrah)
Talking to Strangers II - Famous
Papal Conclave (Jamelia)
Mocking Christianity
Talking To Strangers III - Beautiful
Since You Ask Me - Deaduncle Hall (Throwing doughnuts to the wolves)

Episode Five

Dancing Lessons
Song - Serving Suggestion (Put it on a plate)
Lawry's Bit I
Mulligan's Donkey Sanctuary
Lawry's Bit II
Middle Age
Lawry's Bit III
Since You Ask Me - Denouement Parlour

Episode Six

Train Delay I
Nice Cop Nasty Cop
Other Offences
Song - Cerberus
Other Interests
Train Delay II
The Most Self-Indulgent Sketch in the World
Since You Ask Me - Robot Queen Victoria


Episode One - Christmas Special

John Mulligan's Advert
Good King Wenceslas
Exit Polls I
Runner Up (Holly and Ivy)
Song - December 27th
Exit Polls II
Baby's First Christmas
Eyewitness (Night Before Christmas)
Father Ramadan
Exit Polls III
Since You Ask Me - Nativity

Episode Two

Kissing Protocol
Phone Number (0-7-7-3482293.....5)
Evil Voices (Save the Children)
Just What I Wanted (Grail)
Self-Driving Cars
Stand Up - Bright Ideas
Waterloo Reenactment
Best Child

Episode Three

Parrot Fashion
Bad Copper
One Hit Wonder (Pachelbel)
Sorting Depot (Teeth)
The Thing About Me
Behind Closed Doors - Bouncy Castle
The Arrest
Song - Loose Canon
Since You Ask Me - Haiku

Episode Four

St. Ives
So-Called Fire Brigade
New Kitchen Floor
Socrates' Worst Idea
Eulogy For a Man in the Right
President's Two Speeches
House on Fire
The Archers Accidentally IV
Since You Ask Me - Proposal

Episode Five

David Starkey
Tufty (Wolverine)
Open Letters
Designing the Snake
What's He Like?
But a Man
Behind Closed Doors - Ferry
King James
Song - Truckstops
Since You Ask Me - Fortune Teller

Episode Six

Is There a Doctor on Board?
Pet Tips I
You'll Set Me Off
Pet Tips II - Tortoises
Which of These Cats Is Bigger Than The Other One?
Pet Tips III - Cats
Celeriac Awareness
Pet Tips IV - Stick Insects
Guest Spots
Missed Connections
Since You Ask Me - The Musical


Episode One

Getting Feedback (Freud)
The Death of Nelson
Past Lives
Starting a New Baby
Kim's Poem
Interview Sketch - Gnu
Song - Stop Saying Gnus
Stand Up - Clickbait
The Woods (Not a picnic)
Since You Ask Me - Biscuits

Episode Two

Otter Sanctuary
Crime Scene (Single live butterfly)
Interview Sketch - Authentic Shakespeare Company
Mulligan's Auto-Citer
Wedding Venue (Magic organ)
How She'll Be Coming (When she comes)
Not My Turn
Since You Ask Me - The Mission

Episode Three

Huge Favour
Have We Met?
Acceptance Speech
Bucket List
The Wisdom of Uncle Matt
Interview Sketch - Owl
Research Help (Winchester)
Ninth Labour
Arse-Covering Meta Sketch
Since You Ask Me - Fight

Episode Four

Bet You I Crash It
New Player Tutorial
The Godivas
Song - Moral Maze
Interview Sketch - Mayfly
Planning to Meet Up
Stand Up - Taps
Johnson and Boswell
Since You Ask Me - Western

Episode Five

Caesar's Last Words
Voice In My Head - Carcassonne
Animal Designers Crisis
Grains of Rice
Interview Sketch - Centaur
George and the Dragon
Animals and Kings
Leaving a Funeral
De-sensitised Crows
One Question Time to the Tune of Another
Since You Ask Me - Card Trick

Episode Six

The Plan
Sponsored Leopard
The Weather
Song - The Terrible Leaving Do of 2017
Memory Technique
A Cake in the Shape of a Cake
Interview Sketch - Linguist
JFSP Accidentally
Since You Ask Me - The Heist


Anonymous said...

This list is so useful! We are coming to High Wycombe and would love to hear any (or all!) of these:
Since you ask me Treasure Island
Three Guards (Tiger with a Gun)
Spiny Porcupine
Ice Cream Van painter

Can’t wait!
Claire S

lobecast said...

My tuppence worth!-

Since you ask me crossing the Atlantic
St Ives
To rerecord your message
Gilgamesh experiment

See you in Swindon!

lobecast said...

Edit to add I'm most excited by any new sketches you are doing, it doesn't have to be a greatest hits show!

Anonymous said...

Any of the Archers Accidentally sketches. Thanks for the great radio shows. Can't wait to see the Edinburgh show.

Elegian said...

Also coming to the High Wycombe show...there must be a thriving cabal of JF fans in the area! Any of these would be awesome... in that they would inspire some awe:

A melange of Accidental Archers
Since You Ask Me - Treasure Island
The Interview Sketch - Ice Cream Van Painter
Russian Revolution by Email
Farenheit and Celsius
Since You Ask Me - Biscuits
Interview Sketch - Centaur

Pete Forman said...

Captain Dinosaur

Lexi said...

Definitely My dog doesn't know he's ugly and Sniffer Dog. And Negotiating with Genghis (all parts). And Archers II and Dog that looks most like his owner. Also Famous Five reunion. Before you're thirty.

I always enjoy Since you ask me... but I can't remember which is which to choose my favourite. And the time travel ones I can't find but am fairly sure I haven't imagined.

(Your list makes me realise I've missed the odd show. When will they next be repeated?)

Jamie said...

I tried to be brutal and limit this list to 10 choices (I failed, spectacularly).

Even reading the title of some of these got a chuckle out of me.

Roll on the York show...

Since You Ask Me - Ghost Story (Jacket pocket jacket pocket)
The Archers Accidentally II ('One of the men who aways sound tired')
Since You Ask Me - Ghost Story (Eagling)
The Goldfish and King Neptune
Elephantine Castle
Herod's Strategy
Will The Train Manager Contact The Driver
Archers Accidentally III ('The rhythmic thumping of the wooden objects')
Horse Box
Farenheit and Celsius
Song - The Fifth of February
Mulligan's Bank
Since You Ask Me - Crossing the Atlantic (Mr. Floofywhiskers)
Pavlov's Dogs
Since You Ask Me - Spies (A mole in the Zoo)
Song – Procrastination
Word to the Wise ('His penny whistle is not worth fourpence')
Since You Ask Me - Denouement Parlour
Since You Ask Me - Robot Queen Victoria
Evil Voices (Save the Children)
One Hit Wonder (Pachelbel)
Behind Closed Doors - Bouncy Castle
Song - Loose Canon
Since You Ask Me – Proposal
Since You Ask Me - The Musical
Interview Sketch - Gnu
Song - Stop Saying Gnus

Jolyon said...

Tunbridge Wells would love to hear
the monkeys song
Since you ask me for a musical
And can patsy straightening interview Arthur shappy?

Jolyon said...

Straight woman. Damn auto correct

Jay S said...

The noise of the TARDIS!

AFGreenwood said...

I'd rather you picked the ones you enjoy. I'll trust your taste. Or you could write some new stuff, Mr Lazy.

VB said...

Treasure Island. Obviously.

Perhaps if Lawry, Margaret and Carrie fancy an interval break we could get a rendition of the Goliath Window.

Perhaps not, eh.

MutleyMac said...

Preston for me 🙋😀. The zoo songs please - meerkats; penguins:gnu. Of course Captain Dinosaur, December the 27th, the monkeys song; In fact ALL of the songs - any chance of a CD or playlist of just the songs 🤞. Would make the commute to work much more fun.

Sketches : love the audio guide for the 5yr old; the goldfish and Neptune:

Haven’t heard the Edinburgh festival episode - wasn’t on the download from Apple for Series 1. 😢

Peter Davies said...

An embarrassment of riches! There are so many brilliant sketches in the first episode alone, you can't really go wrong.
I'll be happy whatever you do, John. Just put on a show that you think is good, and have fun. :)

Anonymous said...

Coming to High Wycombe and can't wait! We would love to see:

1. Any of the “since you ask me”s, our favourites are (a) noir (you ask a lot of questions, don’t you), (b) the zoo (c) train story, (d) deaduncle hall, (e) denouement parlour .
2. Jekyll and Hyde
3. Stoppable: the tram story
4. The audio guides for toddlers
5. Gone funny on me – Churchill
6. Family reunion
7. No further questions
8. The bagsie tribunal
9. Anecdotes – Churchill
10. Interview sketch – accountant creatif
11. The Belgium song (though we realise this would probably have to be done with limited context!)
12. One question time to the tune of another

Only including one from series seven as we've only just heard those!

Anonymous said...

And Bwoorp!!!

Anonymous said...

Having just heard about this, I’ll be booking for York. The Mulligan’s Donkey Sanctuary advert was on one of the first episodes I caught, and it remains a favourite.

Also, John - these Programmes are always a delight, but the recent Series 7 Episode 6 was an absolute masterpiece. I could not stop laughing.

Alan C said...

Got my tickets for Dorking as soon as you announced, but wow, love that how you want to please your fans by asking them what you should include. That's brilliant. So, since you asked...

Cat Nav..... all of it, obviously...
The Interview Sketch - Athlete (Fastest tricyclist in the world)
The Goldfish and King Neptune
Famous Five Reunion
Pavlov's Dogs
Self-Driving Cars
Getting Feedback (Freud)

Anonymous said...

Some of these would be great;
Tiger with a gun (I just like that phrase but the sketch is good too)
Pooh's Indebevention
Zoo Songs 1, 2 & 3
Audioguide for 5-Year-Olds - 1, 2 & 3
Your Decision (Patrick of Trevor)
The Goldfish and King Neptune
Song - Spiny Porcupine
Will the train manager contact the driver
Song - Stop Saying Gnus
Farenheit and Celsius

I think it is fair to say I need to listen more to later series...
Everything will be a joy and a pleasure I am sure.

Anonymous said...

As a John Finnemore geek (TM), I feel the need to complete this post with the sketch list for John Finnemore Apparently:

Famous Five Reunion
Bad names for twins
Silent Majority - Language
Paddling like hell underneath
Life Class (Too rude)
Poodle cross-breeds
Gunpowder Plot
Security Code
Silent Majority - Recycling
Lines from Bob Marley songs
Since You Ask Me - Ghost Story (Eagling)

Most of the full-length sketches have reappeared on JFSP, but the two that haven't are great and would be good if you want to do something less familiar and are too lazy to write new stuff.

Anonymous said...

Super chuffed about being able to go to the Bastingstoke show.

Here's my suggestions (but, honestly, I'm thrilled for whatever you do whether it be old stuff, new stuff, or improv, or just trying out new material on us, etc):

Treasure Island
Insomnia Song
Watch advert
Stop Saying Gnus
Tesco Metro Museum
December 27th
JFSP Accidentally
Anthem Pour Les Belges
Stoppable: The Tram Story
The Most Self-Indulgent Sketch in the World

نور الهدى said...

شركة غسيل خزانات بالمدينة المنورة و عمال مروبون وحاصلون على شهادة صحية فقط اتصل بنا لتحصل على افضل خدمة غسيل خزانات

Rach Cherryade said...

So excited about seeing you in Preston! I can't wait to hear your new stuff (which is always amazing!) but here's a list of some of my favourite sketches, sorry it's so long, it was even longer to begin with but I limited myself to twenty!

Jekyll and Hyde, Seance, Audio Guide for Five-Year-Olds, Moths, Famous Five Reunion, Rat Sanctuary, The Interview Sketch - Ice Cream Van Painter, Painting the Sun, Inner Toddler - Squash, Since You Ask Me - Mysterious Trapdoor, Song - The Fifth of February, Song - Serving Suggestion (Put it on a plate), John Mulligan's Advert, Song- December 27th, Since You Ask Me - Nativity, Socrates' Worst Idea, The Archers Accidentally IV,, David Starkey, Song - Truckstops and Song - Moral Maze

Rach Cherryade said...

Also, I'm very dissappointed that they don't seem to have adopted your wonderful 'Moral Maze' as the show's theme tune, it does perfectly encapsulate the show's agenda!

Nick said...

Oh go on then. I love more-or-less all sketches, so would be happy with any, but I'd particularly plump for these:

Red Trousers (I'll be at the Cheltenham show; this will work very well there ;))
Toddler advice
One question time to the tune of another
Archers accidentally II
Campaign for real pub chat
Basking sharks

Plus any of the songs, I think they're some of the very best sketches, and would work very well live.

Lena Predmyrska said...

Well, since you asked me... :D
Even though you are not touring in True North this time, I'll stick my 2 cents in anyway.

All of "Since you asked me"
All of the Interview sketches
February song
Put it on a plate song
Procrastination song
Russian revolution by email
That sketch with cockroaches in museum of human artifacts
And the rest of them

You are a brilliant writer.

Anonymous said...

I'm a bit surprised that suggesting sketches might be useful - to me it seems to be counter-productive to have a "greatest hits" show. In concerts, I like to hear a few of the hit songs, but unless the artist is beyond, well, 70, I get bored if it's just "stuff we already know you will like".
But then, I'm not in the UK and won't be at any of the shows anyway, my opinion is irrelevant for the series of shows anyway (and if the audience loves to hear "Since you asked me" all evening, it would be mean to spoil there fun with asking "but this is much better for you" stuff).
Still, if I would be there, what I would like to see is ensemble stuff that's tricky.
Because I'm mean. And because it would be a waste of bringing the other actors along, only for one person telling stories (even though you do have a nice voice).
So what I'd like, that would be:
Songs (as the audience can sing along, which is much better than doing it at home with the CD)
"She Sells Sea Shells" - because it is really nasty to spring that on actors, knowing that they have to perform that live in front of an audience
Also the "Since you ask me" with the butler who couldn't say Sir. (Well, they're actors. Either they do it perfectly on the night, which would be proper and impressive. Or they screw up. Which is fun for the audience.)
Also the three guards, as it is well written and only works if nobody fluffs their lines. (And after that, it's probably necessary to add a sketch or two about the pedants and their use of language, just to shut people like me up...)

skill to learn thatI really want to

Anonymous said...

My 14 year old daughter Madeleine just shouted downstairs “Trod on a nut”. Not sure if that’s one of your sketches, or if she’s beating up her brother! See you in Birmingham!

Alexei du Périer said...

Well even though I won't actually be able to see a show I still feel entitled to give my opinion because that's what opinions are for after all.
Therefore I suggest:
- Pooh's interdevention
- Herod's strategy
- Gnus
- Red Trousers
- Audioguide
- Jeckyll and Hyde
- Past Lives
- Noise of the Tardis
- Crime scene (single live butterfly)
- The Lying and non-lying guard riddle
- The Sun Gods
and that sort of hard-boiled detective parody

but frankly there are too many good ones I've missed loads

Laura said...

Is there any way to get a copy of the Edinburgh show? I'd love to hear it.

If I could come to a live show, I would like to hear the Three Little Pigs. But as I can't (wrong hemisphere) my pennywhistle is not worth fourpence. Fourpence!

Running Man said...

Loving having the list although it is causing my colleagues to keep looking over to me as I break into giggles at the memories of the sketches some that stand out for me are:

Three legged dog
Guards (tiger full of guns)
Since you asked me about the trapdoor
Since you asked me for a musical
Pavlova makes Pavlov the pavlova Pavlov loves
Belgium must be stopped song
Cat Nav
The Sound of the Tardis
Three wise monkeys song

Actually just a 21 hour long show with all of them in would be fine

Anonymous said...

Hi John, I have gone and bought the Cabin Pressure box set just now. Have you looked at the reviews on Amazon at all? I suspect you won't have: modesty dictates, I am sure. The overall impression I am left with after reading the reviews is an aching wish for more, which certainly resonates with me. This is a selfish thought, but are you sure you can't persuade yourself of possibly considering, or at least entertaining the thought of, or wondering as to whether it might be worth investigating, the notion of some 'lost' incidental radio episodes you discovered carelessly lost down the back of the sofa. The idea of revisiting MJN must be one you will have been bothered to distraction with quite a lot. The thought to revive it might well be considered ill-advised or scary. We all know sequels are often misguided. Then again quality is surely a given, going by the adoration the series enjoys. And I am sure someone like 'Martin' can be persuaded to 'take temporary leave of absence from Swiss Air'. Besides, he must be at least a captain or even a count or duke of some unknown canton in Liechtenstein by now, so it is not as if he can't pick and choose. I understand you decided long ago to leave well alone. The Souvenir programme is excellent, as is Double Acts. The ache will just have to continue and it is A Big Ache. What a peculiar word, by the way, 'ache'. Must look up the etymology.

Lothiriel said...

I'm terribly sorry if my list is far too long, but I genuinely had a hard time narrowing it down to twenty-five items, even after taking out all the seasonal sketches:

JFSP Accidentally

any of the Voice In My Head sketches
any of the Train Manager & Train Driver sketches

Since You Ask Me - Walpurgisnacht
Since You Ask Me - Mysterious Trapdoor
Since You Ask Me - Spies (A mole in the Zoo)
Since You Ask Me - Robot Queen Victoria
Since You Ask Me - The Musical

One Hit Wonder (Pachelbel) + Song - Loose Canon
Song - Stop Saying Gnus
Song - The Terrible Leaving Do of 2017

Three Guards (Tiger with a gun)
The Goldfish and King Neptune
Gunpowder Plot
Ding Ding Good Morning Sir
Farenheit and Celsius
Magic Mirror
The Most Self-Indulgent Sketch in the World
Tufty (Wolverine)
But a Man
The Death of Nelson
Caesar's Last Words
Animals and Kings

Neil said...

My 10 year old son Christopher says his fave sketches are Hungry Hippos and Cat-Nav.

He’ll be on the front row of your High Wycombe show and we’re sure he’ll love it even more if you could include at least one of these!

Good luck with the tour,


Anonymous said...

I’m SO looking forward to the Preston show (as will my 11yr old when I tell him we’re coming to see you live - it’s a present so a surprise for now). We are massive admirers of your entire can.. your entire body of work and have been listening to cds on our journey to and from school after we’ve dropped the younger ones off at their school (they’re all massive fans of Cabin Pressure but haven’t quite taken to JFSP yet). I’m looking forward to hearing whatever offerings you choose but particular favourites that we’d love to hear are:
Song - Serving suggestion (put it on a plate)
One hit wonder & Song - Loose Canon
Anything with the train driver and the train manager
Pavlov’s dogs
Almost any SYAM
Hunter gatherers
Archers Accidentally IV (I think, the one with the psychopath)
And, for my 11yr old trombonist (not quite a tuba player, but not far off!) Bwoorp.

Good luck with the first part of the tour and we look forward to welcoming you to the north-west,


Anonymous said...

Very excited to be coming to the Brighton show! My votes (it was incredibly hard to whittle this down, I had to make some painful cuts...):

Interview Sketch - Before You're Thirty
The Noise of the Tardis
The Archers Accidentally (any/all)
Your Decision
Song - Insomnia
The Interview Sketch - Ice Cream Van Painter
Song - Three Monkeys
SYAM - Crossing the Atlantic
SYAM - The Musical

Anonymous said...

Hello John -
Some favourites from a very long list:
Honeymooning couple and the tattoo
St Ives
Pachelbel one hit wonder
Goldfish and Neptune
any of the supermongers
Emperor's new clothes
Since You Ask Me - Walpurgisnacht
Since You Ask Me - Mysterious Trapdoor
Since You Ask Me - The Musical
Since you Ask Me - Jane Austen spoof and the crisp packet

PurpleSparklePony said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
PurpleSparklePony said...


I don't imagine you're still working on the set list, but just in case I'll leave my favourites here.

Series one: Three Guards (The tiger with a gun) - I'm with Margaret on this, it's terrific
Series two: The Goldfish and King Neptune (Hello!)
" " : Captain Dinosaur.
Series three: Towels.
Series four: The Mysterious Trapdoor (if only for the accents)
Series five: Ban Cancer
" " : Since You Ask Me: Crossing the Atlantic, or, the Adventures of Mr Floofywhiskers
Series six: Lawry's Pet Tips
Series seven: the bits with gnus.

I hope the formatting doesn't bugger up. Lists are awful when it does. Also, inability to edit leaves ONE option; thank the gods it's not voicemail.