Sunday, 9 September 2007

Presumably not THE Penelope Wilton. Unless she has a greater interest in the exploits of Mickey Mouse's dog Pluto than you would think to look at her.

Hey, Honeys, I'm home. The battle royale between me and the French is over, and we've decided to call it a draw. Under the terms of our peace agreement, I am to return to England, and stop eating all their cheese; and they are to buy some proper pillows for their beds, and stop pretending those weird long tubular bolster things will do.

Anyway, this weekend I've been sorting through some old stuff of mine that's been cluttering up my Mum's attic. Amongst it was a book I had when I was a little boy, which was evidently second hand when I was given it, and had the original owner's name in the 'This book belongs to...' space. For some reason, rather than simply cross it out, I appear to have tackled the problem laterally. The inscription now reads:

This book belongs to... Penny Wilton. No. John Finemore.

Pretty strident, coming from someone who can't spell his own name.


Anonymous said...

From: Robert Le Badineur

Coucou, c'est moi,l'anonyme!

Zut alors, je reviens et qu'est-ce je vois on the website? Is that all you guys can come up with, in response to my last message? I was looking forward to un combat amusant!

I enjoy your humour on British TV and happen to know some other names from the same stable. Mais, helas, your blog is not quite the same chose.

Allons! Fail better the next time! Essayer d'amuser aussi nous, les bilingues!

Et maintenant, je file a l'anglaise (in your country, 'I shall take a French leave').

P.S. About your cheese story: 'you've made tout un fromage of it (meaning 'a big deal out of nothing'.

Also, you say you are 'a berk'. En France, 'un connard'. Aux Etats-Unis, 'a schmuck'.

Anonymous said...

Is it safe to come out now, John? Has he gone?

John Finnemore said...

I think so. Although I have a funny feeling she may be back shortly after the 25th... If so, then please accept my apologies for the paucity of amusing combat and bilingual humour available on this site. It's not impossible you have slightly misunderstood the nature of the service I am providing here, but still.

Enjoy your French leave, which I always understood meant to leave without announcing the fact. But I applaud your belt and braces attitude of announcing you're about to leave without announcement.

You will be missed. Or, at any rate, missing.

Charlie Rowen said...

Rest assured John, not all bilingual people are incredibly snotty about funny language errors. Elle peut aller se faire foutre - she can... er... go away.