Thursday, 2 August 2012

Beware the deadly guys.

Twelve things the small boy opposite me on the train exclaimed whilst playing on his Nintendo:

- You can’t stop me!
- Woah, who are these deadly guys!
- Woah, wait up! What are you guys doing to me? 
- Aha! Can’t hit me! Oh, he’s hitting me.
- Oh come on, how could he possibly get up there?
- This is so annoying! I’m not allowed to hit his hands now! 
- How do I beat this guy? What do I have to do?
- Ah! He’s not dead yet! Ah, look at him! He isn’t dead.
- Aha, now I get it!
- Aha!! Oh!! Yes!! Thank you!!
- I beated him!! 
Oh, he’s changed into a machine.

One thing he exclaimed when his batteries ran out, and he looked out the window at some seagulls in Poole harbour:  

Birds in the water?! Why are there birds in the water?!


Ross Bennett said...

The world is going to be a magical, if not bemusing, place for this youngster.

Thoroughly enjoyed your opening night participation in Now Show Live 2012. Hoping you'll appear again.

Dunno why everyone's upset about the badminton. What were people expecting? Goodminton?

Daedalus said...

For those back in Blighty, you are lucky to be able to stream the Nowlympics Show because it's as dead as a doornail on iPlayer here in the States. I mean it's there but it don't load or stream. Another victim of "we're not allowed to stream the Coe Limp Ticks or anything about them outside the UK"?

Fortunately the podcast is easy to DL and play. Bwahahaha!

Kaitebon said...

Ha! Maybe my brother is less weird than I thought!

(Or at least, less unique...)

Daedalus said...

Have to say that the show-jumping sketch in Nowlympics II owes a lot to ISIRTA. Expect a letter from Messrs. Garden and Brooke-Taylor.

Cringing Wretch said...

So, he had no problem with a man who changed into a machine, but couldn't fathom birds called *sea*gulls in the water.

Luna said...

'Lympics: There was something on the Beeb site about radio coverage and commentary during the games, I think. 5 Live is blocked outside the UK for the full two weeks while some segments are on other channels.

I have to say, I was a bit like this when I was young(those were the days, etc etc). Too many deadly guys in Mario.

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Anonymous said...

I second the above comment. Hell, I may even third.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I'd laugh but....I was exactly the same 18 years ago on my original Nintendo, haha!! Fun times. Although birds in water were no so mystifying to me!

Sparrow said...

Fortunately, my kids were grown up before that stuff started coming out. How about looking out the window more often and enjoying the scenery, learning what the world has to offer in the way of beauty.

Go for a walk, you might see a goat!

Enjoyed your latest show snippet about the Olympics!

Anonymous said...

I also saw a kid on public transport today, but he was rather different... I just wrote about it under the title "The greatest thing I saw today..."

It restored my faith in humanity a little :)

Elares (Linette Moccia-LeBlanc) said...

You have just seen the future, my friend.

Kris said...

Alternate title: 12 things John shouted in his dream that he was an olympic athlete. A *super powered* olympic athlete.

09Sienna_Pyre said...

I... I still yell stuff like that. STILL, after years and years of apparent 'sensibleness', as my mother likes to put it. -_-
So yeah, I have a gameboy advance with really old versions of Super Mario Bros, and when i'm playing it, you can't get anything out of me other than 'AHAH! A MUSHROOM!'
'Fear me, Bowser, fear me...'
'Who gave the damn tortoises fireballs ANYWAY?'
'Damn you, tiny mushroom people!'
and, occasionally 'Ahah! I win, I win, I win... oh. Damn.'

Uh... yeah. heh.

Pipit said...

Did he never stop to think that that was the reason they are named SEA gulls?

Maybe I'm just getting too old, but I really don't understand the video game/texting culture. Thank God for you, John. You so often have a way of explaining the intricacies of modern life in ways we old farts can understand.

ClosetDiva (aka Kate K) said...

Sounds like a youngster in for a world of adventure - and in desperate need of a camping or aquarium trip sans electronic devices. (Just think, if he's amazed at sea gulls how much more mind-blowing it would be to see penguins!)

Kate Baur said...

I can't help but wonder what it was the kid was playing. Sounds vaguely Zelda-y, but who can say at this point?

Jane Russ said...

I so enjoyed your Olympic rant. I feel exactly like that - comforting to know I'm not alone!!
Combo of birds and understanding tech stuff. My daughter aged 6 on seeing a seagull trying to fly forwards but being blown backwards by gale force winds commented "his batteries must be in back to front".

Anonymous said...

It's a shame I can't recognise the game from his exclamations, it sounds like a good game!

Musical Lottie said...

Haha, he sounds cute (he probably isn't though). However the bewilderment at birds being on the water is just sad :(

On a different topic, you were BRILLIANT on the Nowlympics Show :D When I listened to it I actually cried with laughter, although to hear you saying 'brilliant' as Arthur whilst actually being you was a little confusing to the brain! Ah well, it was still absolutely brilliant :)

Marionette said...

I reckon he was playing Sonic Advance - was he on a Gameboy or a DS?

Anonymous said...

I think I know that boy-he came to lunch at my house today with his twin. Every few words had exclamation marks!!!

Sarah S said...

After consulting my younger brother, in his reliable expert opinion as an expert-game-playing-younger-brother, he suggests that this game-enemy is the final boss of Star Fox 64 for the 3DS. It is a monkey thing, who is mostly only made up of head and hands. And you have to hit his hands to hurt him, but you obviously just can't do it constantly. And then when you do it enough, he turns into a robot monkey thing. Apparently, it is impressive that the kid made it that far. So there's solution to this oh-so-mysterious mystery.

Sarah (The other one) said...

Do you remember The Generation Game? Various strange eccentric people would demonstrate their strange eccentric skill.. I remember one small boy who could recognise cars by their hub caps.
Theis could be a contender. Spot the Video Game game. You get 20 (verbal) ejaculations to guess it.

Anonymous said...

Fantastic investigating in the comments! Mr Finnemore should set challenges like this every week... or month. Or, you know, whatever schedule he deems suitable (If at all).

Anonymous said...

Maybe he heard they are called _sea_gulls, but he couldn't believe they existed, and he didn't want to seem gullible.

FolornHope said...

Never mind all that, what ever has happened to Mr Cumberbatch's hair?

I can only conclude that the lack of Cabin Pressure has turned it sheer blond with shock, see:

Thankfully on radio, this atrocity will be concealed. I urge you, Mr Finnemore, to take action now to save your esteemed colleague before All Hope is Lost. (Capitals Advised, and Necessary).

mq, cb said...

Life imitating art:

Miguel Ángel said...

The kid is not neglected, it's his molting. Well, maybe we can blame the parents a bit.

Durham said...

*sigh* You have just seen the future, my friend.

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